Childfree couple always accommodating friends with kids

ldawngirl

We are in our early 30s and most of our couple friends have kids. We both like kids, but for various reasons I won't go into, we will not have our own. What gets me is that whenever we get together with our friends, we always have to go to their house because it's easier for them. And this isn't just one couple, it's all of them. (We have very few friends without kids.) Most of the time we just grin and bear it, but once in awhile, it really bugs me. This week, we're making plans with some friends for a games night and I casually asked if there was any chance they could come to our place to mix things up a bit. And of course, I got the standard response - easier for them if we come to their place, hard for the kids sleep schedule if they sleep somewhere else, tight on money, so can't really afford a babysitter, etc. etc. She did finish with saying how grateful they are that we come to them all the time. It's all well and good, but why are we always the ones who have to accommodate friends with kids? It would be nice if once in awhile they could recognize this and come to us, but I don't know how to say that without offending anyone, or if it's even worth it.

cantwaitforthefuture

totally hear you!  My husband and I are also in our early thirties and do not have kids.  Most of our friends do. Usually it doesn't irk me so much, but just recently I felt the same as you.  I had a big surprise birthday party for my husband at our house, and it was clear from the invitations I sent that it was an adult only party.  I had many people ask if they could bring kids still, and even though I very honestly answered each that I thought it was more of an adult party, I still had one couple bring their toddler!  Needless to say, that couple was very uncomfortable,with people all over our house drinking and just having fun, and they left around 9pm.  I get that when you have kids your lives change, but we normally accommodate all of our friends, so just once in a while it would be nice if they would accomodate us!

ldawngirl

Hear hear! I think what really irks me the most is the assumption that we'll always go to them and when I brought up coming to us for once, there was no give or compromise on their end. Just a "this is easier for us, we appreciate it." End of discussion.

cantwaitforthefuture

That happens to us sometimes, too.  But, on the flip side, the last time we had our friends over that had kids, we had 5 kids at our house under the age of 3 and our house was a disaster afterward!

chrisnjay05212010

as much as it can be frustrating, i agree id rather they keep their kids at their house and not make a mess of mine.  Terrible i know but its the truth!

AlePeezy2013

I totally didn't get this until I started living with a child, but now I understand. It's because it's easier to get your kids down for bed and then carry on the fun without then having to jostle them awake (if say they fall asleep in a friends's guest bedroom) and take them home and/or the travel time to get them home, which usually winds them up, and then it's another 45 minutes until they go to bed. 

*sigh* Parenthood is complicated but it is fun and seriously my kid is the best. 

It gets really dicey when multiple kid families duke it out over whose house they go to because then ONE family is always getting the shaft. 

Cindy41710

I'm the opposite.  When I visit my friends with kids I prefer to go to their houses.  My house is totally un-kidproofed since we don't have any, so at least I know my house will be exactly how I left it once I get home, as opposed to worrying about whether or not their kids will make a mess in my house/break something/puke on my furniture etc.