Is this what they call "A Rut"?

Knottie31321366

So my fiancé have been living together for about two years, (sorry we're not married but I think it works for this category) and I hate to have to do this but I'm starting to get worried because literally all we do is watch TV, and I get really anxious about it.
I know it's winter and everyone likes to hibernate, and we are also saving for our wedding and paying bills etc. right now so we can't afford to take up a course or class of anything really, I just...wish we had some sort of *free* hobby we could do together that he would be ok with, rather than spend our evenings on weekends in front of the TV and our phones.

 

BlueBirdMB

There are plenty of things you can do with each other.  One of our favorite things to do in the winter is to open a bottle of wine and sit in front of our fireplace and talk.  We also cook together and sometimes actually read books out loud to each other.  We take walks or play cards.

I agree it's super easy to fall into bad TV habits, but you need to break out of it and spend time talking instead watching screens.  It's extremely important to connect.

puppylove2014

Sometimes we go to "junk shops" when we're bored and want to get out of the house without spending money. If you have any antique malls, resale shops, and/or used book stores around you, they can be fun to go through. Estate sales can be fun too. Sometimes I just like looking at the houses. We rarely buy anything, but sometimes find something fun and cheap. Then you have a treasure with a fun memory attached.

If you can't afford to go out, it can also be fun to plan a special meal and make it together. I like to do a meat and cheese tray with wine and fruit. We each pick a couple things we want to try from a specialty shop or even the deli at our local grocery store has a great selection.

Don't get too anxious about what you're not doing. Every couple is different, but a certain amount of feeling bored and in a rut after a couple years isn't uncommon. Unless you're independently wealthy, the grind of daily life isn't terribly exciting. Add to that this miserable winter and it's bound to get to many people.

dutchgirl76

I agree with PP. My husband and I enjoyed reading a few of the same books (Hunger Games, Divergent Series), then we talked about them before watching the movies. At least it gives you something else to do and something to talk about. Reading to each other might be nice too, or sit and listen to an audio book. Could you both volunteer? Do you like animals or children? Volunteer at a shelter or help out at a Boys and Girls club, burn off some energy instead of being cooped up.

My husband and I work different schedules so we don't get a lot of time together, but nights we can sit by the fire with wine are very relaxing. Maybe you could play a board game or as PP said cards if talking isn't really your thing. Do you have friends in the area that you could have over  to your place to talk or play cards or meet for drinks? Some restaurants offer happy hour or late night discounts, just share apps and sodas if you're trying to save money.

Sugarplum97

Dh and I are actually going through something really similar right now. For almost the past year Dh had to work so much there wasn't time for us to do anything, and when he was home he was so tired all we did was watch TV together; but now that he is home more we realized how comfortable we had gotten to just doing our own thing.

Dh still works rotating schedules, and I am going to college full time and working, so depending on the week we don't always have much time together.  One of the best things we have done is set a puzzle out on our coffee table. We only work on it together, and it is something that we can do when we just have ten minuets before bed. Another thing we do is watch YouTube together, we just recently started watching Good Mythical Morning on there and every day we watch an episode either before bed or before he goes to work it only takes 10-15 minuets of our day but it is something we look forward to doing together and it gives us something to talk about.
Another thing we enjoy doing, and this isn't a hobby or anything, but we like to shower together. TMI, but it's not even about sex, or to have sex. We just like to shower together, it's fun to soap each other up sometimes, or wash each others hair. It's cheap, fun, and it brings us closer together.

Every couple has something that they enjoy doing together, Try some different things, you will know when you find the thing for you. In the mean time plan for the future, we love making plans and talking about what we want to with our lives.

Knottie31321366

Thanks everyone! All great and helpful advice... I definitely feel a lot better about it and will try your suggestions!!

OtterJ

We recently implemented a "no TV Thursday" rule.  Thursday is one of the few weeknights where we actually get home before 6pm (most weeks), so instead of spending the whole evening watching TV (which can be tempting), we find something else to do at home, either to be productive, or just have fun together. 

For Valentines, we didn't have a lot of money to spend on gifts, so instead, I made us a bunch of stuff for us to use together.  One of the "gifts" was a date night jar.  I filled it with a bunch of date night ideas - all of which were either free, or very cheap.  I tried to include things that we like to do, but just don't do it very often (like going to art galleries), and a few things that we've never done together (have a picnic). 

dutchgirl76

I love the idea of no tv Thursday! 

My husband loves to play video games so I have found a few that I like to watch him play. It's not that great since it's TV related but something for us to do together. We haven't had a lot of time lately but may pick it back up when our schedules align.

Think about outings for the spring as PP said picnics or maybe you like to hike (even just take a walk and enjoy the sun!) If you have something to look forward too it can help lighten the winter blues. Some places like museums and parks offer a free visit or reduced admission day, maybe one of those days will align with your schedule?