BNOTB
jacobsgorgeous
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Money before TTC
in BNOTB
My husband wants to set a monetary savings goal before we have children and we really disagree on the price. It feels really wrong to put off babies simply because we don't reach that dollar sign. I'm perfectly OK waiting for other circumstantial reasons like school, settling down, etc., but I'd prefer to have a baby between 26 and 31. The older I get past 31 the more risk I take that my baby could have chromosomal and other birth defects. Have any of you set a specific savings amount you want before you ttc? What would you consider reasonable vs. unrealistic?
Re: Money before TTC
I am curious with this question, too. We are wanting to wait for a couple years (I will be 27, husband will be 31) to start discussing TTC, but we are wanting to go ahead and get some money saved up before then. We have been putting money in savings each paycheck, but I wonder if we should be putting more?
We haven't discussed an actual goal amount, but we should be able to add an extra $6,000.00 to savings by 2017. I personally would like more.
It seems like there should be a compromise somewhere in there. Like after a 3-month emergency fund has been set.
Then, at that point, crunch the numbers in your all's budget to include the extra expenses of little one...ie daycare, extra insurance, diapers, etc. and see what can still be set aside for growing a healthy investment.
Men seem to conveniently forget that we can't have children up into our 90s, like they can, lol. And, while mid 30s doesn't seem too bad from a physical standpoint, by the time we get into our late 30s and early 40s...in addition to a slightly more elevated risk of birth defects...our fertility also starts decreasing. That hefty investment won't seem as large if you all have to drop $35K on fertility treatments at the age of 40, that may not have been necessary at the age of 30
.
I realize it is anecdotal, but I had a friend who got married later in life (39) and had her first child at 41. It took her almost one year to get pregnant. He was a healthy baby and is a healthy child, so that was all good.
But, shortly after he was born, she and her husband tried to have another child. They tried for years, but never went the fertility route. They more took the attitude of, "if it happens, it happens". But it never happened and I know she has always been a little disappointed she couldn't have more children.
At the time, according to her doctor, there was nothing medically keeping her from getting pregnant...it's just becomes harder for women to get pregnant somewhere usually in their late 30s/early 40s. And the difficulty then increases the older they get.
I also had a different friend who started going through early menopause when she was 37. I don't know how common/rare that is, but something else to consider.