How do I bring up moving away to my hubby?

Sarah07887

About 5 years ago, I moved away from my hometown in Arizona to a remote part of Texas for work. A few months after moving, I met the man of my dreams. Although we live in what seems to be the middle of nowhere, my life couldn't be any better. I have the opportunity to go home every 6 to 8 weeks to see my family, so I have been able to find a great balance that works really well. We have been married for about a year and a half now. We have started talking seriously about starting a family soon and I realized that I can't imagine raising children away from my family. I hadn't realized how important this was to me until we started talking about having a family of our own. My husband works for his father's company and really enjoys what he does. I know he will never want to move away. How can I bring this up to him? Can I even expect him to entertain the idea of moving away? Or, how can I deal with the strong feeling of needing to be near my family when starting ours?

englishtrish1

Have you ever said anything to him in the years you have known him about this? If not this will be a huge shock

short+sassy

While I understand that you feel how you feel, it is pretty unfair if you think about it.  Moving away would mean you would BOTH need to find jobs in the new place when both of you already have jobs you love in the current place.  And you'd be raising the children away from his family...just so you could raise them near your family.

I definitely fall in the category of staying put and learn to cope with your feelings of wanting to be near your family.  Now I just wish I had good advice on how to do that!  Either way, this is something you need to talk to your husband about.  Let him know how you are feeling and hopefully, between the two of you, you all can come up with a good solution or compromise.

Think of the bright side, even in your current situation, you still go back to visit your family every 6-8 weeks.  Are you parents still working?  Could they possibly come out to visit you also?  Good luck and I hope you find a good answer. 

MommyLiberty5013

Are your parents retired? If yes, would they want to move?

joleri23

It can't hurt to tell him how you feel. He needs to know, and telling him will help you from becoming resentful if you both decide moving is not the best decision for your relationship. Besides, who knows: he may be into it. You won't know until you tell him.

Disneygeek77

Well you could tell him, but like pp said, that is a lot of sacrifice on his part and a bit unfair. I also think it wouldn't hurt to talk to a professional so as to help you come to terms with your feelings.

dutchgirl76

The only thing I could think is a compromise of halfway between both families, but it sounds like PP's point that you'll both essentially start over with new jobs. Are you living in a house already? That would be the other thing to consider since it's not that easy to sell one house and buy another? How long would that make each of your commutes if you did move?

If your parents are still working, can they visit you sometimes? Maybe even at the 4 week mark they come out (or visit you on holidays while you keep to your 6 to 8 weeks apart trips to them)? It's not the best, but could you meet them halfway for a long weekend, is there a nice area that you could all get hotel rooms? 

Unfortunately I can't think of anything else. I guess you have to talk to him, but be prepared he might not be as open to the idea. On the other side of the coin though, how far is your trip to your parents house? Once you have children will that trip be as doable? Will the kids be able to sit in the car for that long?