more parenting stuff

egpitt22

In addition to some recent 'tude and stubbornness from Liam (I totally agree with whoever started referring to kids at age 3 as "threenagers"...it's so true!), I've also been experiencing a significant increase in their fighting/bickering/all out wars.  I just posted about it on my blog the other day more as a venting session, but man....I don't know what to do!!  They fight over every.single.thing sometimes.  Who gets to sit on a certain end of the couch, who used a specific cup last time, the list goes on and on. 

I really think part of it right now has to do with Liam kind of coming into his own recently...before, he was just so happy if Jake was playing with him, he didn't care about being bossed around.  But now, he's had more of an opinion on things and wow does that just get under Jake's skin!  Jake can't stand it if Liam doesn't want to do exactly what he wants him to do in that moment, he says not nice things, Liam does something like hit or kick him and it escalates from there until I'm pulling them apart and ripping my own hair out. 

How do you handle the sibling fighting?

kris356

Um, we still call my sisters The Bickersons and the are 24 and 28.

egpitt22

kris356 said:

Um, we still call my sisters The Bickersons and the are 24 and 28.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
(

some times I don't think i can handle one more day of it, let alone decades.

Luckystar2

I stopped with just 1 ;-P

Ha! Sorry!!! Obviously no advice. I'm just glad this is 1 thing I don't have to deal with.

bride2003

The girls are ok so far but they are more bossy towards one another vs fighting.  Its an interesting dynamic to watch Caileigh boss Keira boss Eamon, Eamon fight with Keira, Keira fight with Caileigh etc...  Caileigh defends Eamon, blames on Keira etc etc...

I don't have real solutions although I do have a sibling rivalry book in my den that I plan to pull out someday.  My one niece & nephew barely spoke from 6th grade on but now that they are both away in college are the best of friends!!  I have 4 sisters and we all fought throughout grade school & high school so I think its inevitable.  At some point the boys will figure out that joining forces in order to outwit mom & dad is better than fighting each other

Meghan&Rich

Oh, the fighting!  Our issue lately is that Mason has been yelling at Garrett.  Mason has been really into Skylanders and Garrett has no clue how to play, so Mason will yell at him.  The one day he was crying, and I asked him if Mason hurt his feelings, and he said "No, Mason broke my heart."  (  I had a talk separately with Mason about how he has been yelling, and he now gets 1 warning for yelling, then the game gets turned off.  It seems to be helping, but we'll see.

As for the other bickering, I really don't know what to do.  Sometimes I will ignore it completely and tell them they're on their own and they need to figure it out, and if they can't, then it's bed time (or time out, etc).  Sometimes I will separate them (but then they miss each other, lol).  Sometimes I make them give each other a hug and a kiss, and say that they love each other (my mom did this to me and my siblings).  I try to remember that like most relationships, it's inevitible that there will be bickering/disagreements, but man, it's annoying!

Over the weekend they were racing on their bikes, and Mason of course kept winning, which meant Garrett would then throw a tantrum.  Then Garrett would win and Mason would freak out.  But then later in the afternoon they were racing, and they kept finishing at the same time because they wanted to have it be a tie together.  So sometimes their relationship drives me bonkers, other times it's the best. 

egpitt22

Meghan, mine are the same with video games...we don't have skylanders but they've been into Mario Brothers, and like Garrett, Liam doesn't really understand how to play but likes to try anyway....and wow does it infuriate Jake if he causes them to mess up!  I take the same approach as that, one warning then the game gets shut off the rest of the day.  they're getting a little better with that after a few times of fighting in the morning on a saturday then not having it to play until the next day!

I try to separate them, then they both freak out that they don't want to leave each other, even for 5 minutes....but I'm like, "um...I just heard you tell Liam to get out of your face that you don't want to see him?!?!"  Yet, they just can't stay away.  an odd form of brotherly love, I suppose.

Good to know I'm not alone!

kris356

egpitt22 said:

kris356 said:

Um, we still call my sisters The Bickersons and the are 24 and 28.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
(

some times I don't think i can handle one more day of it, let alone decades.

Sorry, but they are the bestest of friends! Really, there is a four year age difference so they were in different places. But by high school they really did get along really well they are just totally different personalities.

MrsAmers

"So sometimes their relationship drives me bonkers, other times it's the best. "

So much THIS.
I am an only child and I don't get it at all!

If they are just bickering and we are home, I leave the room. I only stop the bickering if we are in the car and it is distracting me, or if we are in public and it is annoying others.

I try to only intervene if there is name calling or hitting/kicking/etc. I am not a referee, and I really don't care if one of you stick your tongue out at the other.

I've had that "Siblings without Rivalry" book on my Amazon list for years. It's probably past time to buy and read it!

waltsgirl102503

My boys fight a lot, too.  I think part of it is just being around each other all of the time, and like some of you mentioned - Noah was used to bossing Brody around and getting him to do whatever it is that HE wanted to do.  Now that Brody's 5, sometimes he doesn't want to do what Noah wants, and that makes Noah mad.  I try to explain to him that it's okay for Brody to sometimes want to do his own thing.    

We also have the mean talking during videogames, so that must be normal!  LOL!  I also tell them if they can't be nice, then it goes off.   

I know it's normal to fight (I fought with my brother, too!), so I really just try to see the big picture, and at the end of the day, I know they love each other because they get along slightly more than they fight!  LOL!   

lala5507

My girls can either play AWESOMELY together or they are at each other's throats.  I remind them (like a broken record) to use kind words.  If it's really going to far and I can feel myself getting close to losing it, I will send them to their rooms for a little bit.