Married Life
Knottie89137194
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Being friends with males
in Married Life
Hi everyone!
First of all, this is my first post on the Nest, so be nice please ??
Second of all, I can't change my wedding date info, when I signed up for the "the knot" I didn't know my actual wedding date, so I just put anything.. i was using Wedding wire mostly..so I never changed it here...and now I don't know how to change it...help.
Okay, on to the topic. So I have had this one male friend for awhile now like 5 years. My husband is friends with him now too, in fact he was a groomsmen. We have always had a platonic relationship, despite meeting through a dating app. We both have always felt we were better to just be friends, since we have different life goals.
He recently got married (civilly) just after I got married ..my actual wedding date is 3.22.15. Any ways, his wife doesn't like it that he texts me instead of texting my husband. As I stated before, I was friends with him before knowing my husband and its always been platonic. We text on occasion (not all the time) and always during the day about platonic things. I seriously don't know why it is such a big deal for him to be texting a woman. What should I do/say???
First of all, this is my first post on the Nest, so be nice please ??
Second of all, I can't change my wedding date info, when I signed up for the "the knot" I didn't know my actual wedding date, so I just put anything.. i was using Wedding wire mostly..so I never changed it here...and now I don't know how to change it...help.
Okay, on to the topic. So I have had this one male friend for awhile now like 5 years. My husband is friends with him now too, in fact he was a groomsmen. We have always had a platonic relationship, despite meeting through a dating app. We both have always felt we were better to just be friends, since we have different life goals.
He recently got married (civilly) just after I got married ..my actual wedding date is 3.22.15. Any ways, his wife doesn't like it that he texts me instead of texting my husband. As I stated before, I was friends with him before knowing my husband and its always been platonic. We text on occasion (not all the time) and always during the day about platonic things. I seriously don't know why it is such a big deal for him to be texting a woman. What should I do/say???
Re: Being friends with males
I agree with the PP. Unless she says something to you directly, you stay out of this.
Do I agree with her? No. But it's their marriage and his responsibility to say something if he disagrees with her.
I agree with the PP. Unless she says something to you directly, you stay out of this.
Do I agree with her? No. But it's their marriage and his responsibility to say something if he disagrees with her.
Yup, this. I too don't agree with her, but that's not the point here. This is something for him to deal with one on one with his wife. And yes... a fallout of this might be that he says he can't text you anymore.
I agree that it's between this guy and his wife. However, you are in a unique position as his female friend.
How would you feel if your DH was doing something that made you uncomfortable and not only he, but the friend (male or female) he was doing it with didn't respect your wishes either?
Whether or not you agree with his guy's wife, you have to decide whether or not you want to respect her and her wishes/boundaries as your friend's wife, as another woman, and as just a another human being.
Furthermore, let's say you continue to be 50% involved in this platonic friendship via texting on a regular basis and let's say that this causes fights between your guy friend and his wife and your guy friend becomes unhappy and his wife continues to be unhappy. I realize it's not 100% your responsibility for other peoples' feelings and what makes them upset, but you are a contributor to this situation.
If you respect this guy friend so much since he's your friend, why doesn't the woman he married also deserve your respect just by being his wife?
To be honest, I see her side of it and rather than get upset with her about it, why not see it from her angle for a little bit? Maybe she is insecure or unhappy, again, not your problem, but I feel that common decency means we don't intentionally try to do things that ramp up others' insecure feelings. It seems unkind.
Maybe you don't cease texting altogether, but you limit it to 1-2 times per week in the day. And the other times if he texts, you ask him to ask/talk to your DH. She isn't asking you guys not to be friends, she is just asking for a boundary in male/female communication.