young wife and needing some love from my man!

lovinwife1

My husband won't have sex with me. When we do it's amazing. But sometimes it's close to a month before we have sex again. We don't do it during my period because I'm uncomfortable with it... But my gosh I want to all the time and he's always too hot, or tired, or sick, Idk what the deal is but I feel like I've got a sex addiction when really I just want to have romantic sex with my husband. I never make the first move because when I have before he's rejected me. He's very loving and treats me like a queen I'd say we have a wonderful marriage the only issue I'm having is the lack of sex! I could do it everyday. We have been married for four years and this has been an issue the whole time. We have talked about it but then it only changes for like a week and we go back to the same old thing. Ok I'm finished now thanks for reading. Maybe is there's any advice I'm very willing to listen to it. Oh also he just turned 29 and I'm only 25 doesn't that seem kind of young for issues of this nature? Just wondering.

jbien

Hi - thought I'd chip in with a male perspective!

This is not as abnormal as many may think. 1 in 5 men have what they describe as a "low sex drive" and this is reflected in the number of sexless marriages in the UK (15-20%).

At 29, he is 10 years past his sexual peak but I would say he should definitely still be wanting to have sex. Personally, I rarely get desperate for sex even if a few weeks pass - but everyone is different.

He should probably speak to his GP as he may have relatively low testosterone levels or may have another issue that affects his libido. 

I would also say that you should ask him about what turns him on or gets him in the mood for sex (or what has worked before) and also tell him that you want to make love to him more often as it feels great. 

Not sure if any of that is helpful...

joleri23

I can relate. The most important thing to do - which it sounds like you've already done - is to keep the lines of communication open. If it's really important to you, he needs to know. Would he be willing to talk to a doctor about it?

Also, it really may not be physiological. I know sometimes people just have a lot on their mind and that can kill their sex drive.

Men usually need visual cues to get turned on. Have you tried surprising him with lingerie or hell, wearing nothing at all?

jbien

Most of us guys LOVE it when our partner initiates sex. So perhaps next time he has a shower or bath you could get in with him and start to play with him so that he is turned on. Alternatively, nothing makes me horner than when my partner just gets down on her knees, drops my trousers/boxers and starts sucking/kissing my c*ck. That makes me want to have her there and then!

kr0403

I have had this problem as well with my husband. Most of it stems from him being scared of my getting pregnant. We don't use BC pills anymore, I was having too many health problems on them. So now just condoms, and it is the same position every time and he is constantly checking for the condom staying on. Maybe this is something your husband is afraid of. Have you talked about kids? Maybe he is just trying to stay away from the possibility of children. Do you suspect he could be with someone else?

TarponMonoxide

lovinwife1 said:

My husband won't have sex with me. When we do it's amazing. But sometimes it's close to a month before we have sex again. We don't do it during my period because I'm uncomfortable with it... But my gosh I want to all the time and he's always too hot, or tired, or sick, Idk what the deal is but I feel like I've got a sex addiction when really I just want to have romantic sex with my husband. I never make the first move because when I have before he's rejected me. He's very loving and treats me like a queen I'd say we have a wonderful marriage the only issue I'm having is the lack of sex! I could do it everyday. We have been married for four years and this has been an issue the whole time. We have talked about it but then it only changes for like a week and we go back to the same old thing. Ok I'm finished now thanks for reading. Maybe is there's any advice I'm very willing to listen to it. Oh also he just turned 29 and I'm only 25 doesn't that seem kind of young for issues of this nature? Just wondering.

How long has this been going on?

Has he always been like this? or is this a recent acquisition???

You need to sit down and talk to him, outside of the bedroom . Twice a week or three times a week would  be ideal and a comfortable goal for him to achieve.

If he has always been a nonsexual guy?

Sorry but no way will you turn him into a raving sex maniac with a raging 24/7 hardon with a raging 24/7 sex drive to match. What you see is what you get.

Talk to him and tell him you would love to have sex with him at least 3 times a week. After that, it is up to him to start anteing up...

And if he won't or can't or you get empty promises?

Consider showing him the door and find a guy who is sexually compatible with you.

There is this, too: if this is very recent and he simply is showing you no sexual attention,  something else can be in the works: your relationship may simply be over(or at least to him) or he may be having an affair and getting his share from some other party or parties.

Communicate.

Talk to him and do it tomorrow. GL.

PS: if he was always like this, I cannot fathom why you married him. What you see is what you get, as I said. He won't change.