Married Life
BeachBum124
newb
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Baby on the brain, hubby keeps changing the topic
in Married Life
Hi everyone!
I was terrified of being pregnant/childbirth (probably abnormally so!) for a long time, but recently have felt my maternal instincts kicking in.
THEN I visited my little sister when her baby was born and now I have the worst baby fever ever 
Even just late last year, I felt more rational and wanted to work through some things with my hubby (we are going to therapy and this has helped a lot) and make sure we were more financially sound before having kids, but now I can't get this off of my head.
We've been married for three years and I turn 30 this month. I want to have kids before I'm 35, but whenever I bring it up now he says "in a few years" and "we should just adopt."
All of which I would have been on board with before, but now it makes me really sad. I feel like he doesn't want to have kids and is just pushing things off.
When we were struggling to work through relationship issues, I told him I didn't want to have kids with him if we didn't work those things out and he got upset, but now that we have been successfully working through other issues he doesn't seem to be on board.
I know this is something we need to talk about together, but just wanted a place to share my feelings tonight.
Thanks for reading 
Re: Baby on the brain, hubby keeps changing the topic
I assume you had an agreement about kids before you got married. What did you decide then?
I'm not understanding "we should just adopt". Why would he say that? It such a weird thing to say. And adoptions, even for older children, take a very long time.
You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with him about what his reservations are on having children. Point out that fertility starts decreasing for women the older they get (though it is usually more after 40 that starts accelerating) and its not like there are just years and years of time to "think about it". Plus, generally speaking, as people age they have less energy...that goes for both men and women. And toddlers have a lot of energy!
You definitely need to sit down with your husband and talk about this. Maybe he feels your relationship issues haven't been fully worked out. Or maybe they have and he wants to enjoy your marriage for a bit before adding kids to the mix. Or maybe his feelings have changed on the topic. It is not an easy thing to deal with, trust me, like i said above, ive been there. Maybe bring it up in therapy, get it out in the open that its a topic you need to work through.