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My husband hates my mother. I need help
I need help, as I feel I am living on edge.
I have been married for 3 years and I feel I made a mistake but don't want to give up as I am afraid. About a year ago my husband and I spent the holidays with our families, which we only get to see 3 times a year. Very sad I know. My husband family invited my family over for lunch, which my mum turned down due to her having other family get together. This is where my nightmare starts, because my mum cancelled with my inlaws, my husband wanted to end our 3 year relationship or I must forget about my family forever. How childish is this. So I decided not to go back home with him and only went a week later. When I got back home I was not allowed to speak to my mother and never allowed to visit my family ever again. I am constantly remained how nasty my mother is and how much he hates my mother. My husband calls my mum really bad names, it makes me so sick that sometimes I think how beautiful my life would be without you. I am also told nasty things about my working place, what a terrible place it is, also how stupid I am. I am so tired but also so afraid to leave, as what will he do to me.
what should I do? My husband would be happy if I forget about my family. I have no friends, as anyone who comes close to me he pushes them away.
Re: My husband hates my mother. I need help
Why?
The problem will only get worse and this is a control issue -- and to me, that is bordering on spouse abuse.
You do not deserve to hear trash from him or to be ordered about like you're a tween who broke curfew. This is no life for anybody to live.
Think about packing it in. You need him like a hole in the head.
Do you have children?
Go home to your mom, NOW.
my husband and my parents have gotten into very heated arguments before for one reason or another and once my father and he even came close to fist fighting. This was years ago and hasn't happened since. But my husband never said that I couldn't see my family again, he would say he wasn't going to speak to them ever again and I told him that if he wanted a relationship with me he needed to have a relationship with my family and learn to respect them and if he saw an argument was getting out of hand he needed to politely get up and bid everyone good night and start fresh the next day. We have been doing this for many years now and everything has been great. No one should every come in between you and your family because in the end it is your family that will always be there when your relationship ends.
Get out now while you have the chance.
Thank you all for the help. I need to get some funds before I can move out on my own. My mum stays 6 hours from me. I wish she was near, I would not be living with my husband.
I don't have any kids and have been married for about 3 years in December. We share all expense in the house 50/50, even though the house is on his name.
He has a very bad temper, I just learnt not to be defensive in order not to cause a proble. Everytime there is a fight or issue, he never admits how wrong is or the fact that he is sorry. I am always to be blamed.
He does have some good sides to him, its just that for me his bad ways out weighs his good side.
He is always fighting with his friends and family. He doesn't have a lot of friends. if someone does not believe in the same way he does or doesn't have the same thinking as him, he will call them all sorts of names, like they are dumb, a b^%&.
My husbands family does not talk to me, because I am a different religion. Even when I do tell them, this is my issues please could you speak to your son, as I can not speak to him about these issues. They turn me down, by saying its not there problem.
Today I got home late, like at 7pm from work and yes I was working, as this is our financial year end. I was told such terrible things, that I am embarrassed to mention here. I had to say nothing, just absorb it in and pretend he is telling me sweet words. My mum called to find out how I am doing, I didn't answer my cell. So she called the house, I was told why the f is my f mother calling. What does she want. I hate this, she is not allowed to call me. What does she want from me. I did not want to drink a juice, I am told that why am I acting like my mother and don't want to drink the juice. This is how bad it is, if I say nothing and try and be on my best behaviour, by living by his rules and ways, then I am not told nasty things.
I must be really sick to stay with some like him. I always want to try and understand why he is like the way he is.
Is it because his parents allowed him to be a bully and never stopped him and told him it is ok. Is it he is a type of person that always wants it his way and if he doesn't get his way, he starts throwing his toys out.
You need to do whatever you can to get the money to get out of there as quickly as possible. Do you have any friends that you can stay with for a short period of time to make it possible to move out sooner. Things aren't going to get better. You say he would be happy if you would stop talking to your mom. But you said he doesn't like your job, so what then? Get a new job? You said he says your stupid? So are you suppose to go get a certain type of degree to prove him wrong? But then he'll complain about how much time school takes up. He's getting you into the position he wants you in. No family, no friends, no one to talk to, a prisoner in your home and afraid to leave him. I hope you are able to figure out a way to leave quickly, good luck!!!
He hates your mother? Very minor part of the picture -- I told you that this is some sort of a "reason" for him to treat you like dirt.
Get this marriage annulled --- you still can, on the basis he is abusing you -- and get away from him as soon as possible.
Sell your e-ring, sell your wedding band -- sell them for the gold or go to a pawn shop and consign them -- sell something and run like hell --- surely there is a bus or train to your mother's house!