Kids/Well Child Visits

amyjoy18

Is/should there be a time when you have your child leave the room to talk to the doctor? 

DD had her well child visit on Monday, and we saw a doctor at the practice that I don't normally see (because I don't like her--DH made the appointment).  As we were discussing DD's growth, the doctor started making comments in front of DD about her size.  DD has always been small, hovering around the 5th to 10th percentile for body weight, but has slipped down below that for this visit.  The kid eats non-stop, she's just naturally small/has a great metabolism (I was the same way when I was younger, and DH had a machine of a metabolism until he hit 40).  In reference to DD's size, our normal pedi says, "someone has to be at the top and someone has to be at the bottom, she's healthy and fine."

Now DD is fixated on what she should/shouldn't eat.  I've been getting questions like "will this make me gain weight?/will this make me lose weight?"  I think the comments from the doctor have set the  precedent that she should be concerned about her size.  I just feel like this is a slippery slope for body image in general. 

I told DD that people come in all shapes and sizes and that her size is just perfect and that our job is to eat food that gives us energy to have fun. 

So...do you keep your kids with you the whole time while you're discussing things with the doctor?  Is she just a crappy doctor?

Luckystar2

What did the dr actually say? Sounds like what her normal pedi says is good. I guess it would depend on what exactly the pedi said as to whether I'd be annoyed. Dd could just be focusing on it because it was brought up. At school they have brought in nutrition students to talk about food/nutrition and dd has focused on it a lot. I know they meant well and didn't do it negatively but dd will ask all the time, is this healthy, etc. In a way I guess it's good but with girls and body image I don't want to start down a slippery slope either. I just use it as a talking point with dd to discuss it etc.

As for staying inthe room dd has so far. She has a high BMI but the dr has never been concerned because she has grown consistently, etc. so it is usually discussed but that the dr has no issues with it and her growth is normal. We did have a behavior consult a few months back and she was in there the whole time. Not sure if that was good or not honestly!

lala5507

There was only one time where I asked to speak to the pedi without dd in the room.  It was regarding a strange behavior she had started doing and I felt like talking about it in front of her would make it worse. 

Speaking as someone who was always (and still is) well below "normal" weight,  you won't always be able to stop the comments.  Just keep hitting home that people come in all shapes and sizes and she is the size she is supposed to be.  Maybe still with the other doctor next time.  Heck, I'm 32 years old and I still get stupid comments.  A grown man asked me what I weighed and tried to guess my weight.  Who does that?!?

MrsAmers

We've never talked to the doctor without the kids present. In fact, several times they have been there for each other's appointments.

It's unfortunate that the doctor made it sound like B is somehow unhealthy, but part of life is dealing with people who say things imperfectly. I would just keep doing what you are doing to assure her that she's healthy. And ultimately, it is better to eat mindfully than mindlessly, so as long as she's eating based on hunger and not gorging herself, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Luckystar2

Yesterday was Dd's well visit. We had some behavior things to discuss following up on the behavior consult from a few months ago. It included talking about dd's frequent accidents still. Dd was in the room the whole time and I have to say I'm glad. The pedi was great with listening to me but then asking dd if I got it right or if there was something she wanted to add. She ended up saying something that was really helpful and insightful and contradicted something I said so I was glad she had heard what I said and was able to say that actually that isn't the case.

Mine is a different situation but makes me feel more in the camp that it's good to have them in there. And made me happy with the way my pedi approached listening to me but then bringing dd into the conversation.

So I'd lean more towards it sounds like maybe the problem with your visit was the new pedi. If weight really is a concern then your pedi should address it but should be doing it in a way that is appropriate for her age. And if it isn't a concern then there shouldn't be much focus on that.

MrsAmers

Glad you had such a good appointment!

We're seeing a new pedi later this month as the one we saw for 7+ years retired. We've only seen her for sick visits - I hope I like her as much for well-child visits!