WIFE'S FRIEND

zimmcomm

Hi,

We met a couple that moved in down the street about 2 years ago. I noticed some weird things. Where I live it is a huge swingers city which is a problem for me. So I noticed that the other woman would make comments to my wife about kissing , hanging out in the spa , touching etc.. I told my wife and her response is she didn't notice anything. We then had a discussion and my wife said she won't do anything until something happens. I wasn't happy with the response but of course I just dealt with it. I even said if it happens I will not ever hang out with them again. When there is a block party or any event where they are at I am in a foul mood before and after. 

Ok here comes the excitement, We were out a few weeks ago with them and one of our really good friends. I guess a comment from the so called swinger about threesomes. I didn't really get involved but my wife's friend just basically said that it will never never happen and none of us will do that. I thought that was good. So my wife goes to the bathroom and I am sitting down and the "swinger" decides to make comments about my ass and decides to grab my ass and then start caressing my leg. I took her hand off and moved. I didn't say anything as I didn't want to start a war. So the next day I tell my wife and she tells me that now since it happened she will talk to her. You would think my wife would be upset about what she did to me. She showed very little emotion. I never even got an apology from my wife about her friend. So we have been fighting for over a week now and why should we. This is not my fault , what did I do?

What it seems like is my wife doesn't want to loose her friend since her best friend is moving away. I need some advice? I want to know whether I am right or wrong and how to fix this. I have no problem being wrong and if I am I owe her an apology

Thanks

VOR

Why does your wife owe you an apology for what her friend did???  I mean, I get it if you're upset that she didn't seem upset or give a different reaction, but she sure doesn't owe you an apology for her friend!

You don't owe her an apology, either, for being upset about what her friend did.  You DO owe her an apology if the reason  you've been fighting for a week is that you think she should apologize and she doesn't agree.

But really- this is all weird.  You and your wife seem to be pretty distant on this topic

groovylocks

It sounds like your wife might have some interest in this lifestyle dude. I'm not sure if alcohol is a factor here but you might want to stay sober around her friends and ask her if she would mind doing the same. 

But your wife doesn't owe you an apology for what somebody else did. She doesn't control the actions of other people.