Dealing with mixed emotions Post-wedding

Knottie97956233

So my wedding was this past Sunday and I'm dealing with a slurry of emotions. First off, I feel really depressed that it's over. Not only because of the intense planning that was involved, but also because nearly all of my bridesmaids came from out of state and I'm really sad that I didn't get to spend more time with them. I haven't seen all of them together like that since college and not sure we will ever get to meet up like that again unless it's for another wedding.
Next, hubby and I had to cancel our honeymoon to Costa Rica because of an issue with his passport. It was only supposed to be a temporary delay but now his parents are sick and we are making the long international trip to India (where hubby is from) to see them.
On top of all of this, I am currently unemployed but currently interviewing with a company that seems ready to extend an offer (next week will be my third interview). The job is out of state however and will be the first time I am at a great distance from my family. My family and I are very close, especially my dad and I. I am a bit nervous and apprehensive about moving so far away but the job seems like an excellent fit and hubby and I have been looking for a change anyways. Also my parents have their house up for sale and plan on moving immediately after the house sells down south so unless I move south with them, we will be apart soon regardless.
There's just a lot of emotions going on right now, sadness, depression, anxiety, and concern for my husband. He hasn't been doing so well because of worrying about his family.
Does anyone have any suggestions moving forward now that the wedding is over? I am very happy with hubby and our wedding was beautiful. I just feel sad that we never get to do something like that again. Also, my wedding was bittersweet in that my grandmother passed away just mere months before the wedding and my grandfather didn't make it because he came down with the flu

GilliC

Pick up some of your pre-wedding-planning hobbies. Or find a new one.

What part of India are you headed to? Have you been before? Maybe you can add a bit of extra time and plan to go somewhere or see something new, so you'll have something to look forward to!

PS - That sucks about your HM. We nearly missed ours, because the Mexican consulate took way longer than they told us to process my H's visa. He only got his passport back two days before we were scheduled to leave!

sbsneed

I understand how you feel!  My recent wedding was so wonderful and it was tough to leave my family.  I agree with the other post- try to make some plans you can look forward to.  Plan a trip with your husband in the next year, try a new hobby, or start a class.  I missed my family so I booked several trips to see them over the next year.  It helps me get over my blues when I can look forward to seeing them.  

TarponMonoxide

Honey:

Your place is with your husband.

You and he are now one family and a new family unit.

You are not supposed to be moving to a new locale with your parents.

How old are you? You sound rather young.

Your place is with your H. I am not saying don't keep in touch with your parents but you go where your H goes and vice versa: that is how it is; you are one family. GL.

cheyjm

I hear ya! I have only been married a couple weeks (9/26/15) but I was sad this past weekend when we were getting ready to see all of our family and friends and have the parties and spend the weekend just being the most happy and in love.

I have scheduled a standing DIY night with some friends from work but I am a little bummed because it sounds like no one is able to come tonight Mostly, I have been throwing myself into crafts and honeymoon planning. We are going to Mexico in December so I have been scouring Pinterest for lists, planners, and fun little tips. We went through a travel agent, which is so nice and takes the stress out, but that also means there is really not much to do to prep. 

Part of the reason I ended on these boards was because of my post wedding blues. It's comforting to see that I'm not the only one. 

beachrunner5

Cheyjm, You are not alone.  That is how I ended up here too.  

H is a 4-star chef, so he works nights.  We've been together for 6 years, but are now empty nesters (I know, doing it all backwards!).  House is quiet at night and very lonely.  As a newlywed, it shouldn't be like this, but it is.  We've only been married for 3 weeks, and I still have hard time getting up the energy to get excited about ANYTHING.... including work... or even to pull out my sewing machine and finish old projects.  

I'm giving myself a few more weeks of this blues shit, then I'm calling for reinforcements!

PiskieP

I think you, like many brides out there, have had an overload of change and stress in your life. Change is scary, even if it's something positive like a wedding, new job or moving to a new city. Give yourself time to process and accept that what you are currently going through is natural. Maybe talk to a therapist about your emotions and work with them to find ways to deal with them better. You've tied your life to your husband's and while that is great, it is also scary because it's a new reality for you. Many of us deal with such feelings, even before we get married. After I got engaged I suffered a great deal of anxiety and sadness,even though I was so happy that my boyfriend proposed. I was really annoyed no one told me I would experience those feelings. I thought I'd be happier than ever. The truth is getting married is a huge upheaval in our lives and identities, and that causes us stress. I hope that soon things will calm down for you and you will feel better. 

dutchgirl76

Starting a new job and moving, especially to a new state is scary. Give yourself credit that you'll be experiencing 2 major life changes right after your wedding, a major life change. Hopefully you've been offered the job by now. In the meantime I'm going with PP about hobbies. If you didn't have many pre-wedding hobbies, or they won't be available in your new state, find a hobby. Volunteer, take up crafting (which you can donate), maybe take up reading. If you fill up more of your free time you might not be so overwhelmed. Working a different schedule than your spouse sucks but hobbies help make the time seem less lonely. 

Will you be close enough to your friends in your new state to have outings? Perhaps just once a month, or every other month just to keep them in your circle. This has come up on other threads, it's so easy to lose your friends post wedding in the excitement of a new husband, but you need them. A night out with your bridesmaids will help get you out of the house and hopefully cheer you up. GL!