Pittsburgh Nesties
Luckystar2
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Girls (dd) and self esteem
So I've posted before about behavior issues. We have done behavior consult with pedi (who wasn't overly concerned) and eventually went to a psychologist. I'm not too thrilled with the psych. Everyone admits dd is challenging/strong willed but haven't gotten much actual advice. My next stop is speaking with guidance counselor for advice/recs.
So mainly things have been challenging with getting ready and doing what we ask and her throwing huge fits. But we are also concerned about her self esteem. She gets easily frustrated and down on herself. Admittedly I am also this way so I fear she's picked up some of that. I know she gets upset about how she looks sometimes in particular her hair (although she is in midst of regretting cutting her hair). But last night at gymnastics she was watching the older girls and said she wished she was thin?!?! I am not always happy with my body but I am thin and try not to criticize my body in front of her.
I told her she is perfect the way she is. She is beautiful and smart and then she told me she is not smart.
Ugh! I am a perfectionist and I think this is where some of my body and intelligence criticism comes from. She is also a perfectionist. I'm worried about what she is saying!! Any advice? I assume if I talk to guidance counselor they can give me some help? But anything I should do now? Any books or something?
So mainly things have been challenging with getting ready and doing what we ask and her throwing huge fits. But we are also concerned about her self esteem. She gets easily frustrated and down on herself. Admittedly I am also this way so I fear she's picked up some of that. I know she gets upset about how she looks sometimes in particular her hair (although she is in midst of regretting cutting her hair). But last night at gymnastics she was watching the older girls and said she wished she was thin?!?! I am not always happy with my body but I am thin and try not to criticize my body in front of her.
I told her she is perfect the way she is. She is beautiful and smart and then she told me she is not smart.
Ugh! I am a perfectionist and I think this is where some of my body and intelligence criticism comes from. She is also a perfectionist. I'm worried about what she is saying!! Any advice? I assume if I talk to guidance counselor they can give me some help? But anything I should do now? Any books or something?
Re: Girls (dd) and self esteem
Commiseration for sure! Dh is very different and has a strong persist attitude but I always feel like Dh is just naturally good at a lot of things.
We try to tell her the same things and remind her of the things she has persisted with. Apparently the girl just taught herself to do a front handspring just because she loves doing stuff like that and kept trying. I wish she would keep that up with other things!
I'm seeing some teens who don't open up to their counselors/psychologists, and it makes me sad. Everyone has different approaches, and connects differently. You need to find someone who you're comfortable with and who you feel is at least trying to help you. And it's OK to "break up" with a doctor who is not meeting your needs. (That doesn't make them a bad doctor...you just connect differently...)
Maybe look for a behavioral psychologist/therapist?
I spoke with the social worker at her school (they don't have guidance counselor) and she is going to meet with dd to go over self esteem and some classroom stuff. She also gave me a couple recs for therapists so I'm going to try one of those