Potty Training

JNK71083

I feel like I'm just totally failing at this with the boys.  My mom and DH keeps telling me how they will be 4 in Feb and they don't understand why I'm not forcing them to go in the potty.  I started having them wear underwear all day but they will not poop in the potty.  Mon-Wed when they are at the sitter they wear the underwear all day and the switches them to a diaper for the ride home because they often nap well the have given up the nap and now poop during that time.  Ok fine I guess that is better than in the underwear however Thur-Sun now they are trying to hold it and when they can't anymore they ask to be put in a diaper so they can go and refusing like screaming fit refuse to even sit on the potty.  Anyone have any advise/ideas of things I can try to make it less I don't know traumatic to all of us for them to go on potty?  I should also mention that Joey is on a laxative per our pedi because he already has issues with holding it.

ryanthegirl

Your guys and my guy are the same age. We're still struggling here and there with potty training, although we've recently (like in the last month) made HUGE improvements.

My son also was having trouble with pooping for some reason. He was mostly perfect with peeing but he'd poop his pants rather than using the potty. After about the 1000th pooping underwear scrubbing I lost it. I'm not proud of it, but I did. I didn't yell or scream but calmly sat down with G and asked him if he was a big boy or a baby. When he replied, "big boy" is just told him that big boys don't poop in their pants and if he wants to poop like a baby, I will treat him like a baby and he will have to wear diapers all the time. G was mortified at the thought of wearing diapers so this seemed to really push him along. I also talked to him at length about paying attention to his body and knowing the signs when you have to poop, etc. We've made huge improvements, like I said, but I do think he holds it until he's home from school, which I would prefer him not do.

I know this may be uncomfortable (but hell, isn't all parenting) could you take them to the bathroom when you go and show them that there's nothing to be afraid/upset about? I've heard some kids can be really disturbed to see "stuff" coming out of them. Could that be the issue?

sarahandtim

No advice, but my sister is going through the same thing with my nephew. I think some kids just take a little longer to warm up to it. As my mom keeps telling her, they won't go to high school in diapers. Good luck!!

amyjoy18

DS will be 4 in November, and we just successfully potty trained in July.  

We were having quite a time where DS would take off his underwear and poop on the carpet instead of going to the potty.  One day he pooped on the floor in his bedroom (ironically on the same day DH was cleaning the carpets) and DH stepped in it.  

DH lost it..and did yell..a lot and DS been going poop and pee in the potty ever since. 

We did still have him wearing diapers at night, and a few days after that he said that he "didn't want to wear stinky diapers" even to bed and he's been good since.  

I'm not sure if it was DH losing his shit, or if DS just decided he was ready--which is the only way DS does anything.

We also did a lot of poop sharing and letting DS see our poop in the potty, DD's poop in the potty.  When DS would poop else where we'd put the poop in the potty and let him flush it down.  We'd comment on the size, color, etc. In typical boy fashion he liked that.  

JNK71083

It's funny when they poop in their underwear they come tell me they want to put it in the potty and flush it.  I asked them if you want to flush your poop why won't you just put it in the potty to begin with.  I don't know maybe I'm just frustrated because they are making themselves sick with belly aches because they simply refuse to go and there isn't really anything I can do about it.

smynings_bride

We were beyond frustrated when DD refused to poop in the potty for 6 months after she was otherwise wearing underwear without accidents  Every night when we put a pull up on her she'd poop and otherwise she didn't wear diapers except to sleep at night.  Frankly, pretty much nothing worked and the more we tried the more she dug in.  She did it when she was good and ready.  The only 2 things that may have contributed to her being ready were having an older girl visit from out of town and poop in the potty in front of her.  Close to the time that she was ready we were able to convince her to sit on the potty and poop in her pull up to get used to the sensation of sitting over the potty and pooping vs. standing up.  Good luck, it will just happen one day and then be a distant memory.  Shortly after DD pooped in the potty, she decided she didn't need pull-ups at night either and put all the diapers in the hall and asked me to give them away.

denalea

I said in your other post, but I'll say again here...potty training made me want to jump off a bridge.  I definitely lost my cool more than once.  (Potty training plus being pregnant at the time was NOT a pretty picture.)  And we were up against a school deadline.

But once DS got it...he got it.  A few accidents.  A few "experiments."  (Why would he pee in the trash can...I'm not sure."  So perhaps just back off altogether for a bit?  I hated that advice, but I do wonder if they are doing it because they can control you...and control is fun for little people. 

Hugs to you.  Don't worry about what anyone else says.  My pediatrician assured me that the rate at which kids decide to use the potty is in no way reflective of your parenting.  (Although I know it feels like it!)  Practice responding with "We're doing what works for them" to your mom, and "They are your kids, too, and we're all working at this together." to your DH.  Hey...I'll tell your mom to stick it if you tell my MIL.  ;-)  (See future sleep rant post!)

JNK71083

I think at this point I'm just gonna satisfy myself with the fact that they are in underwear for the better part of the day with no accidents and be okay with the fact that they ask for a diaper to poop.  However I might try telling them they have to go into the bathroom to poop rather than my bedroom it would at least be a step in the right direction.

denalea

JNK71083 said:

I think at this point I'm just gonna satisfy myself with the fact that they are in underwear for the better part of the day with no accidents and be okay with the fact that they ask for a diaper to poop.  However I might try telling them they have to go into the bathroom to poop rather than my bedroom it would at least be a step in the right direction.

Small victories, small steps!  They'll get tired of the diapers eventually!  Hugs.