Teacher issue? WWYD?

Luckystar2

I'm trying to keep this place active.

So per my other post we've had some behavior issues with dd. Her biggest challenge is getting ready for school. I don't think its inherent to school because she's been like this forever! But I questioned her the other day about anything bothering her at school.

2 things
Sounds ilke the kid who sits with her hums alot and distracts her. she asks him to stop and he doesn't. She asks the teacher who asks him and he will. But sounds like he will start again at some point


But the bigger issue...she said her teacher showed her paper in class...sounded like showing it to show how NOT to do something. It sounds like she didn't show the name, but Dd was afraid she would and obviously knew it was her paper and she was crying. I'm not sure teacher knew she was upset because I would have expected an email follow up on something like this.

So I'm kinda ticked at this teacher already. I know it could be misinterprated by dd, but I don't think teachers should be showing
kids work to show something bad. She could have just written it herself to show the error.

We have open house tonight. I'm not sure if I'll get a chance to really speak with her tonight but wanted to meet her and see how things are there before emailing.

Thoughts? I told dd sometimes you have to deal with distractions but I hate this crap. I have had to deal with stuff like that in the workplace and really think this should be nipped in the bud early on!

As for showing her work...ugh, per other post dd says she is not smart. The teacher showing her paper even without name to show something wrong to the whole class enrages me. Anger warranted?? Obviously need to get teachers side

amyjoy18

My DD is not a morning person.  So getting ready for school is a challenge for us as well.  Starting with kindergarten last year, we started picking out her outfits Sunday night for the whole week. Saves us one headache.  

My DD is also a perfectionist, so if her teacher showed her paper as an example of what not to do, she would have been mortified.  Your poor DD!

I would definitely address it with the teacher--but at our school, open house isn't the forum to do that.  So I'd email the teacher and ask for a discussion so you can get her side of it and discuss how your DD is better motivated by positive attention, and gets frustrated/upset over negative attention.  

I always try to stress with DD that it's OK to get an answer wrong, because that's how we learn to do it right, but it's not OK to not try (which is the issue we run into when she's unsure of an answer). We also talk about how not knowing something doesn't mean you're not smart, it just means that you haven't learned it yet!

As for the humming, if your daughter is really struggling in school because of her inability to concentrate, I'd mention to the teacher and ask if she can have her seat moved in order to remove that distraction--but I also think it is a good lesson to learn to try to deal with and overcome distractions.  

Luckystar2

Updating that I'm pretty annoyed after open house. She has been teaching for 30 years but only her 2nd year in this grade (taught older kids). It's pretty clear she's used to older kids. I'm assuming this is where this is coming from...maybe she did this with older kids. I don't think its a great way to teach at all but certainly not at this age. I also talked with another mom whose daughter is in Dd's class and confirmed dd's account of what the teacher does. So I don't think dd is misinterpreting anything.

Emailing tomorrow. Hopefully goes well.

Ugh just really disappointed. We adored her teacher last year. Just the most perfect match for dd and this year seems like the exact opposite and a terrible match.

lala5507

That's terrible! I'm so sorry your daughter's teacher thinks that a good method.  Your dd must have felt awful.

Luckystar2

Update: talked with her and still not pleased. She basically defended what she does and doesn't really get it. She agreed to not show dd's paper unless she volunteers but too bad for the other kids! She just does not understand this age group. I told her Ive talked to multiple parents and nobody was happy with this method. But I felt like she thinks dd is the problem not her. And she mentioned issues she's had with dd not answering questions and it sounds like she berates her until she answers. OMG I hated being called on in school even though I was smart. I seriously hated teachers like this. Dd is shy and has low self esteem about being smart so I'm sure she hates being called on. not to mention the teacher has already shown she will display her mistakes to the whole class so of course she doesnt want to respond. This is just the worst match for dd!

I have the guidance counselor involved and they are all supposed to talk with last year's teacher to see what worked with her last year. I loved last year's teacher so hopefully he can help.

amyjoy18

I'm so sorry--that's terrible!   I know how frustrating it can be as I wasn't thrilled with DD's Kindergarten teacher last year.  It's not as bad as you're describing, but her teacher just seemed completed disengaged.   

Good for you for reaching out to the guidance counselor--I wish I would have been more proactive last year.  I also remember you talking about how awesome DD's teacher was last year and how he really went the extra mile.  I hope he can help!.