Planning baby shower for long distance couple

billiburrows

My friend who is from here but now lives in CA is having her first baby. She is coming here for her shower but due to the long distance it would be unfeasible for her to transport a bunch of gifts back with her to CA. Looking for some ideas/opinions on a couple of things. i hate to tell people what to buy but feel like it needs to be pointed out that transporting a ton of large items would be a hassle.... I need to do it tactfully. I was thinking of somehow pointing it out and indicating that gift cards would be great or having gifts shipped directly to her home and perhaps include a picture of the item in a card? The mother to be also expressed concern of there being nothing to unwrap at the shower so she suggested maybe asking people to bring a book. while i love that idea, i dont' know if its getting to be too demanding to tell them they need to do those 2 things. i guess i could somehow say the book is optional.  and i can't help but be really micromanaging about the book situation.... i have a feeling we are going to get 10 goodnight moons that people have signed and are nonreturnable. wish there was a way to have a list of books that people indicate what they have purchased so there aren't too many duplicates.   

any thoughts, advice, wording on the invitation are much appreciated! 

JNK71083

I went to one a couple of years ago for a couple that lived in MT but their family was all here.  They had a gift card shower instead.  The wording on the card was super cute and also said something about if you wish to purchase an actual gift please purchase off her registry and ship direct.  They played a bunch of games and skipped the gift opening.

http://www.cutest-baby-shower-ideas.com/baby-shower-gift-card-wording.html

csuave

It is not polite to ask for gift cards or tell people to ship the gifts.  Some of them will know to do this and others (like my mom) will blatantly ignore any such requests or common sense because they feel that the purpose of a shower is to see gifts opened.

Your friend may be able to steer people into shipping gifts if she registers at Amazon.  She can also return gifts in PA and then rebuy in CA (she does this without telling people).  And she should register for smaller things that can be packed into a suitcase.

It doesn't matter what you tell people, most will do what they prefer so it is better off to let them be and not put language on an invitation that some may find offensive.

I would skip the book idea in the interest of your friend trying to have less stuff to fly back with her.

ETA: there will be things to open, no worries about that.  I predict little outfits galore, especially if the sex is known going into the shower.

Meghan&Rich

I think some of the wordings in the link on the post above are cute and explain the situation in a fun way. 

Hopefully if someone is close enough to your friend that they are invited to the shower, they will be reasonable about it and understand the situation.  The shower is about the new baby and the mom to be, not the guest.  You are bound to "offend" some people with the request, but if it bothers them that much, then they can decline the invitation.

Luckystar2

I agree that this is kinda hard to really dictate. I think the only thing I'd do is see if it can be spread by word of mouth. Not directing people what to do just reminding people that transporting will be difficult.

As for the books I think that's a big no if she's worried about transporting. Those will be heavy and a pain to transport. If you do it though I wouldn't worry about duplicates. We did this at one of my showers and I didn't get a single duplicate. I do like that we still have those books with little messages inside!

Honestly I think she just needs to register for small items and things she could possibly pack. Or like pp said be prepared to return in PA.

kris356

I have not thoughts on the gift card thing. You will definitely have people bring gifts. My sisters got quite a few handmade things but those would easily be packed in a suitcase. I agree that they could return items and re-buy once they got home.

But we have done books instead of cards and really a card is $5 so I would rather buy a book and have never had an overlap issue. And we have done this for four showers. You could box the books and ship them to her. They can be shipped media mail USPS for a bit cheaper. My sisters and brother love the fact they have books with messages especially from family members who are no longer with us.

sarahandtim

FWIW, I got books instead of cards at my shower and the duplicates weren't a big deal. I would put one in the bookcase, one in the diaper bag, one at the grandparents, etc. There weren't a ton of duplicates either and I had a sizable shower.

billiburrows

thanks for all of your help!!!!