Pittsburgh Nesties
amyjoy18
member
a>
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Pet with Terminal Illness
I know the board is mostly dead, but I'm hoping some of the ladies who've helped kids through the loss of a pet still check in as I'm not sharing this on Facebook.
We took Deuce to the vet because he started limping. We thought he just tweaked something while playing. Turns out, our almost 6 year old doberman has bone cancer and dilated cardiomyopathy (completely separate, unrelated issue found by happenstance). We just found out on Friday. Both vets we saw (went for a second opinion) gave him 3-6 months to live.
I contemplated waiting to tell Brinley, but ultimately decided to tell her right away. She knew we were taking him to the vet and asked about him the second I picked him up from the vet's office. Knowing that he would be getting sicker, I wanted her to be able to take this time to spoil him if she wanted to.
She's not a super emotional kid and doesn't cry often, and I didn't think she'd take it good, but I was not prepared for her reaction. Guys--I heard her heart break. I can't erase the sound from my head. She wailed and screamed and thrashed and cried for 2 hours. She asked over and over again if there was a tiny chance that Deuce would live to be old. The poor kid just wanted some hope and I couldn't give her any.
Finally she calmed down and made it her mission to give Deuce the best last few months a dog could ask for. She made him an extra comfy bed and started reading him every dog book we own. We went and bought him special treats that he normally can't have. We've had a few crying episodes since then, but I think I made the right decision in telling her early.
However, I know the worst is yet to come. How do I help her deal with this? She wants to be a vet and watches a lot of vet shows (Dr. Pol, Dr. Oakley Yukon Vet) so she gets that pets/animals get sick and sometimes can't be fixed cured. We've also recently lost the parrot we inherited from my FIL and a Gecko we've had forever. And When she was 5 we had to have our cat put to sleep. All of these she did OK with.
But this one is different. Deuce is her dog. We got him when she was just a year old. He listens better to her than he does to any of us. If he escapes and runs off, he ignores mine and my husbands calls, but if Brinley screams he comes right back to her to make sure she's OK.
Any advice on helping a 7 year old deal with this type of loss?
a>
Re: Pet with Terminal Illness
Our cat got sick last year (unexpectantly) and we ended up putting her to sleep. Dd's reaction broke my heart. So I can understand how hard this is. She was 6 at the time.
We didn't have much time once our cat was sick. But I like kris' idea of pictures. Dd has wanted me to print out pictures of her and the cat after she died. I bought a frame for one and she has it in her room. I'd take as many pictures as you can now while he is doing ok. Maybe talk with her about special things she can do with him. Make him a special treat, take him someplace fun.
After our cat passed I made a photo book. Dd looks through it all the time. I find it hard to look through it but she really likes to. So again pictures have been important.
I've let her lead the way. I answer her questions as best I can and ask her what will help her. After our cat died she really wanted a stuffed animal that looked like our cat. So we found the best we could and she literally carried that thing around everywhere for quite a while. I think that helped her. Maybe something to get prior so she has it beforehand if that might be something she'd be interested in.
Dd had lots of questions about death and what happens. We aren't really religious so I just tried to give her different beliefs, etc. I ended up getting her a book called cat heaven (there's a dog heaven too). It's definitely about heaven and has God in it but it's not more religious than that. I feel like the book really helped dd. I will admit that the book makes me cry every single time I read it (even a year later) but dd finds comfort in it.
Again so sorry for you guys.
Definitely agree about pics. I wish we had some more recent pics of our cat but it all happened suddenly. I'm very thankful for the ones we do have. Im into photography and have a good camera and lenses. I used to use my cats as models so I have some really nice ones of her and so happy to have those.