Politics & Current Events
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Boobs in public

I am taking a break from politics for moment. I want to discuss another "current event" that is popping up and out all over the Internet and social media and that's breastfeeding in public.

Here are my thoughts:

1. Breastfeeding is awesome for moms and babies and there is ample medical and scientific evidence to do it.

2. It should not be frowned upon in public, as it is totally normal and healthy. It is a mainstay for baby's health and nutrition. I do not think a nursing mom should be ashamed to breastfeed in public.

3. I support and like businesses that do provide nursing rooms or areas for moms who breastfeed. Or, if they cannot provide actual rooms, do provide understanding and support for the activity. For example, companies like Target and Delta have breastfeeding policies that are very supportive of nursing moms.

4. I feel totally comfortable being around moms who are nursing whether that's at a dining table or in a conversational atmosphere.

5. I do not believe a mom should be required to wear a cover or use a blanket if she chooses not to for her or her baby's comfort.

6. I would never ask a mom to leave the space or room and certainly would never send her to a bathroom to breastfeed.

A few days ago, my dear younger sister posted a revealing photo on Facebook of her and her 8-month-old son seated on the floor with him leaning toward her and him sucking on her nipple. Her full left breast was exposed along with her areola and a portion of the base of her nipple. It was posted with the remark, "Loud and proud."

I also feel that we need more advocacy for breastfeeding to garner support for it in public to make others aware that it's healthy and okay. But, this photo really pulled my motor even though I am a mom to 3 kids and have a 4th on the way (the 3 were breast fed and this 4th one will be too).

Despite my pro-breastfeeding stance, I also think people have a right to not be made uncomfortable and many people do find any exposure to breasts in any circumstance uncomfortable. And, I object to moms, even my sister, using their kiddos as pro-breastfeeding propaganda to send a message. Oh and then there's the whole issue of posting a naked breast on the Internet with a baby sucking it and who actually views that photo and what their mental state is or perversions they have and that gives me the shutters.

I personally believe that breastfeeding provides a deep, unifying, intimate connection between a mother and child. When breastfeeding is so openly broadcasted, IMHO, it lessens that intimacy and opens the little connection to the outside world and in a way lessens it. Why bring Joe and Jane Shmoe in on your little family meal time by displaying everything?

There have been many times when I have inadvertently seen a family member's or friends breast or nipple during the process of them feeding their child. And, that happens sometimes when moms are shifting babies around or fixing their clothing before, during or after the meal. And, that it okay. I do not object to it. It happens and it is fine.

What I object to is the blatant shoving of one's boob in somebody else's face. Breastfeeding isn't a license to shove your boob in somebody else's face. That says, "My rights are more important than yours." While being a mom and feeding a little person are extremely important, none of this should be elevated above someone else's rights. Both healthy meal time and respecting others can occur concurrently, thus being a win/win scenario.

This has been on my mind for a few days and I had to get it off my chest (lol pun).


Re: Boobs in public

  • My thoughts on breast feeding align pretty much with yours. I never bf DD but I might with our next. A baby has to eat. I've seen people nurse with or without covers and it doesn't make me uncomfortable.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • The same people who take issue with breastfeeding in public have no problem oogling scantily clad women.

    Sometimes I do feel uncomfortable when people breastfeed in my presence. I feel like I'm invading their space even though I'm obviously not. I am not against it in any way, however.
  • The same people who take issue with breastfeeding in public have no problem oogling scantily clad women.

    Sometimes I do feel uncomfortable when people breastfeed in my presence. I feel like I'm invading their space even though I'm obviously not. I am not against it in any way, however.
     This.  I get uncomfortable, but it's mostly because I'm not sure the "correct" way to act anymore.  It has never bothered me personally. However, I see so many moms pushing agendas about it on facebook, etc. that I'm not sure if I'm supposed to look, or not look, or give her a high 5, or give her space or what.  It's almost like all the stuff about it has made every person who happens to be in the vicinity part of that mom's breastfeeding story, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do as somebody on the side lines.


    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • as someone who is currently breastfeeding I care very deeply about this. moms are people too, and shouldn't be expected to not go anywhere or to be tied to their car or house every 2 hours. My baby often wants to eat every hour and a half to 2 hours, and I'd never be able to go anywhere or do anything without nursing in public. 

    Just this past weekend my husband and I decided to support a friend who was directing a community theater production and go to the show. we bought tickets near the back on the aisle, knowing that our baby was unpredictable and I might need to slip out. I fed her in our seat once, then she got fussy and I slipped out the back to the lobby to feed her without distrubing the people around us. However 2 people pointed me towards the bathroom. this is such a hard thing, because clearly I'm making them uncomfortable, however I'm not about to feed my baby in the stall of a dirty public restroom. 

    @geners, for the most part, I find that it's easiest when the people around me just go about their business. If they look, fine (but don't pretend you didn't). A very nice woman who was going back and forth between shooting photos in the green room and from the theater stopped and talked to me, but for the most part everyone (except the gentleman who was concerned that I was sure I didn't want to use the bathroom) just went about doing what they needed to do. 

    when I do have to nurse in public, I do my best to find someplace off to the side and out of the way. I have a nursing cover I sometimes dig out, often if we're at a restaurant or somewhere where the people around me are pretty stationary and don't really have an "out" if it makes them uncomfortable. But I also find that LO doesn't eat as well under the cover (I mean I wouldn't want to eat with a blanket over my face either). I've nursed in the dressing rooms at TJMaxx and kohl's(that was the only place to sit down), in a pedicure chair at the salon (while getting a pedicure), in several restaurants, in my car at the grocery store (again, the only place to sit). Older women often stop to talk and ask questions about the baby, little kids are always interesting, I'm not sure if they recognize what's going on, but little kids, in general, seem facinated by babies and will often drag their moms over going "look mom a baby" clearly these women get it and thats NBD. 

    one thing I'm still trying to figure out is nursing with LO in a carrier (moby/K'Tan/Ergobaby), I think this my get easier as she has more neck control.
    Me: 28 H: 30
    Married 07/14/2012
    TTC #1 January 2015
    BFP! 3/27/15 Baby Girl!! EDD:12/7/2015
  • I will admit the breastfeeding weirds me out and I did try it with my first. It makes me uncomfortable to see others doing it. That being said, breastfeeding moms can and should feed their babies when and where they need to. It is totally natural and it is my own hang up I need to get over. But I will also say that just because you can plop yourself down in the middle of Target and feed your kid doesn't mean you should. Making people uncomfortable isn't the way to garner support for your cause.
  • hoffse said:
    The same people who take issue with breastfeeding in public have no problem oogling scantily clad women.

    Sometimes I do feel uncomfortable when people breastfeed in my presence. I feel like I'm invading their space even though I'm obviously not. I am not against it in any way, however.
     This.  I get uncomfortable, but it's mostly because I'm not sure the "correct" way to act anymore.  It has never bothered me personally. However, I see so many moms pushing agendas about it on facebook, etc. that I'm not sure if I'm supposed to look, or not look, or give her a high 5, or give her space or what.  It's almost like all the stuff about it has made every person who happens to be in the vicinity part of that mom's breastfeeding story, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do as somebody on the side lines.



    This is pretty much how I feel too. But honestly if a woman is breastfeeding it's not like you can see much of anything. 

    I do get bothered by the women like the one who posted the photo @MommyLiberty5013 . I don't like that "I dare you to be offended" attitude because I think it takes away from the intimacy of breastfeeding.  I was in Barnes and Noble and I walked by this woman with both her breasts hanging out.  She wasn't even holding her kid.  Of course I looked and she looked back at me with a look that could kill.  Then her three or four year walked up to her and started eating.  That kind of thing bothers me.  I mean hello, you are topless in a bookstore and you're surprised I looked?

    I know personally I would never feel comfortable breastfeeding publicly without a cover.  I'm not saying women shouldn't, but for me, I know I would feel very exposed and it would make me feel incredibly uncomfortable. I'm positive I wouldn't even feel comfortable feeding in front of anyone but my husband.  
  • hoffse said:
    The same people who take issue with breastfeeding in public have no problem oogling scantily clad women.

    Sometimes I do feel uncomfortable when people breastfeed in my presence. I feel like I'm invading their space even though I'm obviously not. I am not against it in any way, however.
     This.  I get uncomfortable, but it's mostly because I'm not sure the "correct" way to act anymore.  It has never bothered me personally. However, I see so many moms pushing agendas about it on facebook, etc. that I'm not sure if I'm supposed to look, or not look, or give her a high 5, or give her space or what.  It's almost like all the stuff about it has made every person who happens to be in the vicinity part of that mom's breastfeeding story, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do as somebody on the side lines.



    This is pretty much how I feel too. But honestly if a woman is breastfeeding it's not like you can see much of anything. 

    I do get bothered by the women like the one who posted the photo @MommyLiberty5013 . I don't like that "I dare you to be offended" attitude because I think it takes away from the intimacy of breastfeeding.  I was in Barnes and Noble and I walked by this woman with both her breasts hanging out.  She wasn't even holding her kid.  Of course I looked and she looked back at me with a look that could kill.  Then her three or four year walked up to her and started eating.  That kind of thing bothers me.  I mean hello, you are topless in a bookstore and you're surprised I looked?

    I know personally I would never feel comfortable breastfeeding publicly without a cover.  I'm not saying women shouldn't, but for me, I know I would feel very exposed and it would make me feel incredibly uncomfortable. I'm positive I wouldn't even feel comfortable feeding in front of anyone but my husband.  
    Yeah that's the thing that bothers me.  I'm not bothered at all by seeing it (not much to see) or even a flash of boob as mom is adjusting - I danced growing up and have seen plenty of that in dressing rooms.  It's just that the movement has become so hypersensitive that I honestly wonder if I am offending somebody when I don't say anything at all. 

    I have never told a woman to cover up or move to a more private place.  I have also never gone up to a BF'ing mother and congratulated her on being brave or whatever.  I usually want to be left alone when I'm out in public, so I try to give others the same courtesy.  I just always wonder if I'm inadvertently offending somebody by ignoring them.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • hoffse said:
    The same people who take issue with breastfeeding in public have no problem oogling scantily clad women.

    Sometimes I do feel uncomfortable when people breastfeed in my presence. I feel like I'm invading their space even though I'm obviously not. I am not against it in any way, however.
     This.  I get uncomfortable, but it's mostly because I'm not sure the "correct" way to act anymore.  It has never bothered me personally. However, I see so many moms pushing agendas about it on facebook, etc. that I'm not sure if I'm supposed to look, or not look, or give her a high 5, or give her space or what.  It's almost like all the stuff about it has made every person who happens to be in the vicinity part of that mom's breastfeeding story, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do as somebody on the side lines.



    This is pretty much how I feel too. But honestly if a woman is breastfeeding it's not like you can see much of anything. 

    I do get bothered by the women like the one who posted the photo @MommyLiberty5013 . I don't like that "I dare you to be offended" attitude because I think it takes away from the intimacy of breastfeeding.  I was in Barnes and Noble and I walked by this woman with both her breasts hanging out.  She wasn't even holding her kid.  Of course I looked and she looked back at me with a look that could kill.  Then her three or four year walked up to her and started eating.  That kind of thing bothers me.  I mean hello, you are topless in a bookstore and you're surprised I looked?

    I know personally I would never feel comfortable breastfeeding publicly without a cover.  I'm not saying women shouldn't, but for me, I know I would feel very exposed and it would make me feel incredibly uncomfortable. I'm positive I wouldn't even feel comfortable feeding in front of anyone but my husband.  
    I really thought this was me. but when you're out with an infant and they're screaming because they're hungry, and then screaming/fussing/not eating because they don't want something over their face, the threshold for using the cover or not, and the level of caring about who might get a flash of boob decreases pretty quickly. Really, if you're wearing a decent nursing top (one that pulls down, unclips, or otherwise opens to just allow access to one boob) once baby's latched there's pretty good coverage anyways...if your at all uncomfortable with your mid-section (and what new mom wouldn't have some insecurities about that) nursing tops are an amazing investment anyways. 
    Me: 28 H: 30
    Married 07/14/2012
    TTC #1 January 2015
    BFP! 3/27/15 Baby Girl!! EDD:12/7/2015

  • The same people who take issue with breastfeeding in public have no problem oogling scantily clad women.

    Sometimes I do feel uncomfortable when people breastfeed in my presence. I feel like I'm invading their space even though I'm obviously not. I am not against it in any way, however.

    Bolded. I turned from "the dark side" on this issue when I realized that society says it's OK to have a giant billboard of some Victoria Secret model, with just tiny scraps of lacy clothing covering her nips and hoo-ha, meanwhile a woman would be breastfeeding next to the sign, and she'd be the "indecent one."

    I also watching my cousin go through breastfeeding her son. It looked exhausting at times, and she definitely had moments where she didn't care who saw her boobs anymore.

    There are certain situations I'm still iffy about the appropriateness though-there was a lot of controversy a few years ago when a woman graduating from CSU Long Beach brought her baby to graduation and breast fed during the ceremony. Maybe I just feel like she should have been allowed to bring her baby to graduation. Her reasoning for not leaving the baby with relatives in the stands was that her baby "helped" her graduate. I'm really not sure how I feel about that one.

  • This is an issue I also feel strongly about.  It infuriates me to no end that it is just fine and dandy to use women's breasts as advertisement for beer and motorcycles but, when a women is using her breast for its INTENDED purpose...feeding her infant, thereby keeping our species from going extinct over the millennia...suddenly it's (to some people), "Oh no, you need to go to a private room...or a bathroom...or 'cover yourself with a blanket, woman!' "

    With all that said, as long as it doesn't inconvenience the mother, I also think it is respectful that she attends to her business without making a spectacle of herself.  Like others have pointed out, even without a blanket, there is usually very little breast seen anyway unless it is a flash here or there.  Sounds fine to me.

    On a different, but oddly a bit related subject.  I've also had strangers make rude and ignorant comments to me when I am taking care of my medical issues.  I have Type I diabetes (insulin dependent) and take at least 4 insulin shots a day, sometimes more.  Occasionally I am out in public when I need to give myself a shot.  Let me just add, a shot takes me 30 seconds tops.

    I understand many people are uncomfortable around needles.  And I try to be respectful of that.  Sometimes I'm in my car.  If I'm in a restaurant booth, I'll give myself a shot on my hip closest to the wall instead of the main aisle, where no one should notice or can even see it.  Sometimes I'll use a public restroom.  And this is where I've run into the rude comments. 

    I generally don't use a stall, because it's difficult to balance a syringe and a glass vial without anything to set either one down on.  So I use the bathroom's countertop.  And I'll still go all the way to one side and inject myself in the side away from other people.  Yet, I've had 3 occasions where I had some woman berate me for not using a stall.

    It's rare I'm rude and use foul language with a stranger, but those are my exceptions.  The first time, I wasn't ready, and said, "I'm sorry you're so ignorant you think I have a choice."  Then I mulled it over after the fact and came up with a better answer, that I used the second two times, "Instead of being an ignorant bitch, why don't you take the opportunity to be thankful you're not tethered to a needle just to stay alive for the rest of the week.  I don't know why you think my medical needs are your f**king concerns."

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