I Feel Like.....

lovealwaysfindsaway8202011

....a crazy person. The last few days, my hormones or something have been in high gear. EVERYTHING makes me bawl like a crazy person. I'm just tired and feel unmotivated to do anything. I have spent the last two days after work on the couch. Out of no where, I am have been panicking about the whole labor and delivery process. It's always sort of freaked me out but it's been out of control the last few days.

I'll only be 36 weeks tomorrow but I am so ready to have him.

Penguin12912

Sorry your hormones are messing with you. Everything will be fine. What is freaking you out the most about labor and delivery? Maybe we could help calm you down...

ImperiumWife

I'm with you in the whole not doing anything camp. I want to get something done today. 

I also had my first bad labor dream, so I totally get that... 

lovealwaysfindsaway8202011

I don't even know what has me so anxious and freaked out...that's the frustrating part = (

Edit: So I thought it over....what was freaking me out was all the variables that go into knowing that you are in labor...like your water could break, it could not, it could be all at once, it could be a trickle....real contractions vs. Braxton hicks....that kind of stuff. I know, I can always call the doctor and I saved a bunch of info to my phone so that makes me feel better. I always feel better when I have information and knowledge.

Another big thing was getting to the hospital and if my parents have to take me. Originally, I thought that I didn't want anyone up at the hospital at all, even in the waiting room. I wasn't even going to tell anyone I was in labor until after I had him and we were ready for visitors. Well, if my parents end up having to take me cause Tyler is at work, I really can't tell them to leave. And if my one set of parents are there, I have to let my other set of parents know and my sister. My other set of parents might come up and my sister for sure will. That thought just made me anxious.

 I talked a lot to Tyler about it and he suggested sitting everyone down and laying out how I feel and what I would like. Like, you can be there, but unless I ask for you to come in the room, you're waiting in the waiting room. After he's born, Tyler and I are going to take some time with him, then you may come in for short while but please don't make it a long visit at first. (when my mom had my youngest brother, we were litterally in the room, holding him like a half hour after he was born. I really would like a little more time than that before everyone starts passing him around lol). He reminded me that my parents will respect my wishes and he thinks it will make me feel better knowing my parents are there in case something happens, especially my mom. I know Tyler will do his best to keep me calm, but this is a first time experience for him too sooooo I might need my mama.

So, I overall feel better and will feel even better after I talk to everyone. I know they are just excited for us since he's the first grandchild and can't wait to meet Elias. Honestly, now that I think about it, them waiting in the waiting room will be the LAST thing on my mind and I know it will mean a lot to them if they can be there, even just waiting.

Sorry for the crazy long response. It feels good to get it all out though.

Penguin12912

No worries! I am glad you feel comfortable enough to vent here. We can give you our experiences and how they went. I know it will be different than yours, but at least you'll have some ideas on what could happen.

1) Labor- For me there was no question at all if I was in labor. I was laying in bed when I heard a pop sound. I went to the bathroom and barely anything came out, but I was having contractions. I ate breakfast while watching GMA, took a shower, and loaded the dishwasher before I even woke H up to tell him we needed to leave to go to the hospital. H took me to the hospital, still no amount of water to be seen. When I was being admitted they checked to see if my water broke and it had, things were just positioned so there was suction and the water wasn't coming out. 

2) Family waiting during labor- I think having family at the hospital in the waiting room is a great thing to have. I bolded "in the waiting room" because H's mom did come into my room once while I was in labor and I did not appreciate it at all. I love her, but just didn't want anyone but H in my room during that very private time. I never even got to the point of pushing because after 14 hours they called a C-section. My contractions weren't strong enough even after being given a pitocin drip. I was wheeled past where H's family was waiting on our way to the elevators. I loved seeing that there were all still there waiting even though it was 10 pm at night and I had been admitted around 930 am or so. When we were wheeled back to our room after recovery H's mom came to see Abby quick and everyone left. I think we were lucky though because she was born at night and everyone was tired. I'm sure if she had been born during the day we could've just told family we wanted to have some alone time just us before seeing visitors and they would've understood. I think it is nice to have family there too just in case something happens. You never want to think about that, but something did happen with us. In my case it was 24 hours after delivery. H's parents weren't there, but were staying nearby and got to the hospital very quickly after H called them. He really needed the support while caring for Abby and worrying about me being wheeled into emergency surgery at 2 am.

All this being said. You do what is most comfortable for you and Tyler. I just wanted to give you an idea of how things happened with us. I hope it helped a little.

lovealwaysfindsaway8202011

I appreciate hearing your experiences = ). I'm glad I'm not the only one that asked family to please stay in the waiting room. I guess in some weird way I thought I would be worried that they were there for too long or something. Which, my mom has had four kids, she knows how it goes and how long it can take lol. I know in the long run, I will be happy they are there. Like I said, sometimes, even as an adult, I just want my mom lol.

I have to remind myself too that there is no shame in calling the doctor with questions, even if it's fifty times. Or straight up just going to the hospital, even if we get sent home a few times. I warned Tyler that may happen cause there is no way I am going to attempt to wait to the last minute. Once those contractions last for however long my doctor says (which I'm asking about on Monday) or I even think my water broke...I'm going. I live 45 minutes from the hospital. Anyways, I just have to remind myself that it happens ALL THE TIME and this is all new. I'm not the first women to get sent home from the hospital lol.

Those were my main two things....nothing else really scares me, other than keeping calm. If I don't keep calm....it's gonna get ugly real fast. Well and knowing what a contraction feels like. Everyone tells me "you'll know, you'll just know." I've been told it's like an intense cramp that starts in your back and it doesn't let up even if you change positions or something. Over time, they get more and more regular and predictable.

Penguin12912

Our cousin went to the hospital with contractions and thought she was in labor, but her water didn't break yet, and her contractions weren't close enough together. They didn't admit her. I think they came home and had to go back a second time. It happens. You could always just hang out at the hospital and walk around instead of going back home if they turned you away. We also live 45 mins-to an hour away from the hospital.

jtmh2012

I'm not sure if you've done any sort of check-in with the hospital, but at ours, they don't let anybody in the room for the first hour after birth.  My parents had arrived just as Ryan was born (2 hour drive for them, so we told them).  Told them to go find dinner somewhere and come back.

lovealwaysfindsaway8202011

I haven't yet...I'll have to ask about that one. I was gonna ask about pre registration anyways

jjbmstinco

I made it 100% clear that I will text when we are ready for people to come.  It was way too much pressure for me to know that there are people waiting for me.  I know people want to be there, but I couldn't do it.  Do whatever makes you happy and comfortbale. 

lovealwaysfindsaway8202011

Thank you for putting into words how I feel. Some (not my parents, other family members) just don't see the big deal and I couldn't quite explain why even having people in the waiting room was making me anxious.

shellyamf

I think it's so normal to be thinking about all this when you are this far along.  I was even stressing and worrying about the same stuff with Josie and I'd been through labor before.  But I was induced with Lily so I started my labor at the hospital.  So I was still having all those thoughts of how will I know, what if Paul is out (he was on call) and what do we do with Lily, ect.  But it all worked out. 

With Josie, I got up at about 4:00 am to go pee and felt like I peed while walking to the bathroom, but when I got to the bathroom it wasn't pee.  Sorry for the TMI.  It was pinkish and I thought - hmm, did my water break.  But it didn't gush so I called the on call doctor to see if I should go in.  They said yes.  They tested to see if it was my water breaking or if I had just peed.  The test came back positive for my water breaking so they checked me into the hospital.  I was having contractions but it just felt like period cramps.  Eventually at 10:00am my doctor did "break my water". She said that I had just a pinhole with a small leak and my labor wasn't really progressing.  So they broke my water before trying any of the drugs like Pitocin.  

With Lily I was induced with something to start contractions and after a few hours, my water broke and it was the big gush.  So I've had both scenarios. Basically my rambling is that there are so many different ways it could happen, but I really think you will know.  And when in doubt just call your doctor.  That's what I did. 

On the waiting room topic, both times we wanted people to wait for awhile before coming in to see the baby.  We wanted our time with each of them.  With Lily my MIL came and sat in the waiting room as soon as we told her we were in labor.  Even though she lived 5 minutes away.  And once we let me into the room, it was everyone all at once and they stayed way too long.  It really wore me out.  So I think it's great you have all this figured out and plan to discuss it with your families beforehand.  I wish we had.  With Josie, no one lived close by so no one was in the waiting room to visit.  My grandma was at our house with Lily and Paul brought them up after we had our time with Josie.  It was nice.  

lovealwaysfindsaway8202011

Thanks for your experience. I appreciate it. = ). I just have to keep reminding myself that there is nothing wrong with calling the on call doctor or nurse. That's what they are there for. Knowing a little bit of what to expect/what I should keep an eye on, makes me feel better though.

With my family, I have to lay down expectations and "rules" or they'll literally walk all over me. We are used to be very close with everyone and this is the first time I'd like people to not be quite so close.

Overall, I blame it on hormones being crazy lol. sometimes I feel like "all right kid, it's time to get out of there, you can come anytime." and other times I feel like: "i know the longer you're in there, the better...so stay as long as you need to. Plus, mama still has some stuff to do before you arrive." oh the joys of being the final stretch lol.

ImperiumWife

We've already told everyone that they are going to get to see us until at least an hour after birth. The way my hospital works, we do labor and delivery on one floor, and about an hour afterwards, they will move me up to what they call the mother and baby unit. They allow a lot more visitors up there, and there isn't really even a waiting room for the delivery floor cause they encourage you not to bring people that early. So only j and I will be at the Hosptial until they move me.