Ugg, how do you split chores?

FLA2005NH

I am sick of my house being a mess! Yet my hoping he gets a clue and cleans up without being asked way of thinking is not working. I know this is normal since we haven't been living together again very long, and we just need to find a groove. But we never had a groove before, and I am worried. With the new work schedules, all I can picture is him hanging around until its time to go to work, and me coming home to all the mess everyday.

How do you decide who does what chores around the house? At the same time I don't want to sound like I'm trying to delegate like his Mother, I just refuse to take care of all of it. We share a house, so we share responsibility. Did someone make a chart? A chart more what I am thinking. I think we need to see it on paper to get us started.

Any suggestions??? Something has to help.... :-)

MrsKinnirsk

bwahahahaha, good luck is all I can say ~ LOL!!!  Sorry, not helpful at all.  If it makes you feel better, not only do I pretty much do everything around the house, but I also don't complain one bit about it because when he does things it's never the way I like them done so its just easier if I do it myself.  When he does help out its a nice bonus and I never let him know or see if I fix it or change it later.  I've given up believing that one day he will get that things actually have a home and that he will rarely put something back where it came from, but I have learned to look it the right spot when I can't find something

cnj050607

Well, i take the things that im OCD about (like the dishes and the kitchen in general) and those are mine.  I also do laundry.  He doesnt mind the bathrooms so he does those (we have 2). He also does garbage and dusting everyhere.  We both tagteam the dining room / living room.  I usually do the bedroom because he is not very caring about how it looks as "we can just shut the door".  and he sweeps.

Basically, we each have things that we dont mind doing, and then like it or not, we both do the rest together

FLA2005NH

Hillary- is that a nice way of telling me to get over it??? LOL! I keep telling him that it's not that I want him to change I just want him to be better :-) hehe.... Gotta love him.

cnj050607

Kind of like Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston in the Break Up

"I want YOU to want to do the dishes"

FLA2005NH

LOL! I don't know if it's good luck that my life mirrors that movie... but yes exactly!!! And that is so something I would say!!! hahahahahaha

JustCallMeMrs.P

Sorry Cayla but its a "chore" around here to get DH to do very much at all. He always tells me if I make him a list he'll do things on it, but I don't because I don't really feel like I should need to. Occasionally he'll vacuum or something, but for the most part its all me.

mrs.magoo

We usually try to help each other out, but Tom does his own laundry - have no clue why, but he is particular about it. I do the cooking - he is supposed to do the dishes if I cook, but that never happens - Tom does the lawn mowing and I try to help with raking (although last year being PG I killed my hips and this year with Austin, I was too busy)...Tom usually takes out the trash too, but I help him get it together etc.

Mrs.Darah

I am the cook. DH handles the dishwasher.

I do grocery shopping. I also handle all gift giving occasions.

I do the laundry and fold it. DH puts it away.

I take care of the kids. DH does misc. straightening as needed to keep everything relatively tidy.

DH handles any and everything trash related. I flat out refuse.

That said, I do have someone who comes in to clean every two weeks, so our list of responsibilities is considerably shorter.

FLA2005NH

Heather you guys seem to have a nice balance... what does the person who comes every two weeks do?

 

Mrs.Darah

She does just about everything that i can never seem to find the time to do. Sandblast the bathrooms and kitchen. vacuum the whole house. dust every little thing. wipe down baseboards and the like.. I don't have the list in front of me, but just the bathroom and kitchen cleaning alone is SO helpful. I don't know how people can do that stuff with kids...the chemicals needed are harsh and Alex would be all over me if I tried to do it with him around. It's the last thing I want to do after they go to bed, too.

EastCoastFamily

Well, we just kind of do what needs to be done, without really talking about it.  If I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed, and I ask him to do something, he will.  All this being said, I don't feel like we ever actually CLEAN the house.  We dust, we vaccum, we wash the floor, we wash windows, we keep the table, counters, and sink clean, we sweep, we pick up, but I feel like the house is still dirty.  I would love to have someone come in like once or twice a month to really, truly clean.  I'm going to consider it next year.

NHDancinBride

It's usually whoever gets sick of looking at it first...haha.

Mainly it goes something like this:

ME:

Cooking dinner

Cleaning up from dinner

Cooking/Feeding & Cleaning up after Chase

Vacuuming / Sweeping

Grocery Shopping

Any other shopping (Walmart/Baby needs/Toiletries, etc)

Cleaning Toilets, sinks, etc

General Cleaning Up

Putting Chase to bed

HIM:

Trash

Hand washing pots & pans (if I don't, which is most of the time)

Shovelling & Cleaning snow off cars

Mowing lawn

BOTH:

Run dishwasher and put away dishes

Laundry

Chase's baths

Hope that gives you a little insight on OUR home..lol.  And if it isn't mentioned here...I just forgot about it and I probably do it.

 

mrs.magoo

Oh I have to add - I do the grocery shopping and we both shovel the snow and try to take turns

Fiantas

I typically do all the cooking. ?For whatever reason he picked up doing the laundry - which really was fine by me. ?He does the trash.

Then I had a similar time where it was like, hmmm will he actually do anything else.

?Finally one day I just told him I needed help. ?I didn't feel I should have to ask him to do stuff, but just to take care of things that were common sense (straightening, emptying a clean dishwasher etc)

?When I get in a cleaning mood, I tell him and he typically will do what I ask, but he's getting better about maintenance.

?It seemed to work. ?The conversation was pretty honest. ?I just told him I'm not interested in nagging him, I'm his wife (though we had it before we got engaged) not his mom. ?He seemed to appreciate the honesty.

?Though right now with me being out of work, I think we're both having a showdown over Mt. Laundry. ?I might have to blink on it, I'm running out of underwear.

?

?

PenguinGirl06

We're pretty equally divided. ?I do a little more, since I'm home, but I tell him what else needs to be done if I need more help.

ann11/11

we pretty much split things up.  the only things i do that DH doesnt is the laundry and grocery shopping.  everything else gets done whenever one of us has a day off or something.