Twilight fan... with a theory

imoan

I was introduced to Twilight about a week and a half ago.  I am currently finishing up Breaking Dawn.  I just discovered this board... this is great!

Anyway, I was discussing this with a fellow Twilighter yesterday.  I am absolutely in love with these books, but something bothers me.  A lot of teens are reading this (obviously), and the intensity and co-dependency of Bella and Edward's relationship concerns me.  These are kids who are just now starting to form their ideas and theories on healthy relationships and love.  Edward and Bella aren?t healthy.  Do they love each other?  Yes.  Is that good?  Yes.  But they do it so unhealthily.  They are so co-dependent.  And now we?re teaching teenagers that love has to be fraught with angst and that it isn?t love unless you spend every waking moment staring in to each other?s eyes.  That really bothers me. Will these kids grow up believing drama equals passion, danger equals true love?  Who think independent individuals are just not in love.  Who think that the crazier the relationship, the more ups and downs? the more made for each other they are?

Just something to think about.  Sorry if I'm the party-pooper.  I really do love these books and I'm usually not the person who takes something like this so seriously... but it's just something that's been on my mind since I started thinking about it.

BlairWaldorf

Did you know "imoan" is "naomi" spelled backwards?

Write that down.

Jenandtonica

I guess teens shouldn't read Romeo and Juliet.

BlairWaldorf

and I guess you think that Eminem's music lyrics are the reason kids shoot other kids, too?

imoan

Yes, also Marilyn Manson.  They're all evil!  I will have my kids listen to Donny & Marie

myJunegirls

Wow, easy ladies.  She's just making a point.  LOL   Yes, it comes across as an unhealthy relationship, but if someone is stupid enough to take fiction for real life and emulate it- then shame on them.  The pp are correct, you could use your argument about many movies, other books, songs, etc.  It is what it is and that is entertainment!

booneybear

imoan:

Yes, also Marilyn Manson.  They're all evil!  I will have my kids listen to Donny & Marie

I listened to Donny & Marie growing up and look how I turned out. 

Kim P

I actually kinda agree with the sentiment. I mean we're grown married women, we can poke fun and see how unrealistic the whole love story is. But c'mon, 13 year old girls who read this won't know the difference... just sayin;.

imoan

I'm not saying SM has some sort of civic duty to instruct kids on what a healthy relationship is or anything.  It was just something that bothered me about the book. I also hate how Bella is so co-dependent.  If it's not Edward, it's Jacob.  God forbid she entertain herself and better herself instead of just counting the minutes as she waits for one of her guys to come home.

jason&robin

Well, I hope parents are at least paying a little attention to what their kids are reading and who they are dating. I plan on enjoying HP with my kids but I am not worried that they will want to practice witch craft. They will grow up learning that it's a fictional story. That's just me though. My kids are going to hate me when they get older.

Jenandtonica

IDK. Kids are pretty smart. I know I was, at least. I think 13 is about the youngest (maybe 12) I'd go with approval to read the series, but I don't see kids running out and trying to find the most demonic S/O they can just because Bella did it. There are enough people (young and old) who do that without ever hearing the name Edward Cullen.

BlairWaldorf

I dunno, I had a brief stint in the 5th grade when I thought I was Sailor Moon.

myJunegirls

I do agree with almost all points people are making but I do firmly agree parents should be educating their children on "real" life not fantasy.  You can hold this theory all the way back to Dinsey movies.  Didn't all little girls want to be a princess.  They are my daughter's favorite movies but I make sure under no uncertain terms they should not be waiting for their prince charming to come whisk them away and they will be strong independent women when they get older (I am nice about it though)  I do think parents shoudl know what their kids are reading.  I think the books are a wonderful fantasy, but I can see the points people are making how some kids may get caught up in it. 

Jenandtonica

Isn't that called parenting?

jCamsquared

BlairWaldorf:

Did you know "imoan" is "naomi" spelled backwards?

Write that down.

LMFAO!! I didn't even read the OP yet, I just had to come in and see if someone said that!!!

::runs off to read OP::

jCamsquared

imoan:

Yes, also Marilyn Manson.  They're all evil!  I will have my kids listen to Donny & Marie

mumegs

I agree, it's kind of an unhealthy relationship to be an example to the 13 year old girls. My mom teaches 8th grade & she's always complaining about Twilight because her students are all obsessed with it. She hates how they are always talking about how it would be better to die than be apart. But yeah it is something that the parents need to look out for. Hopefully they know what the books are about and can explain it to their kids!

myJunegirls

I can feel myself starting to get riled up. You do hope parents are smart enough to have an interest in their children.  But you do have to worry- since obviously that isn't always the case.

BD SPOILER BELOW

I was at a BBQ this summer and saw some girls reading BD and I asked who are their parents?  And they held up their hands.  I will admit, I laid into them  The girls couldn't have been 10 yet reading BD?  I asked the parents how they could let their kids read a book, that obviously many adults are reading, though we'll still call it a YA book without knowing what it was about.  I told them there was MANY inappropriate scenes in the books.  When they called the kids over they asked "were there parts you didn't think you should be reading" and they said "yes, they had skipped some parts because they thought they were so bad".  You should have seen the parents faces when I told them a baby was delivered by being chewed out of a belly.  Yup, I was not so nice to them.  I told them maybe you should understand what your kids are reading BEFORE they read it.

xboopiesx

I moan too.

jCamsquared

xboopiesx:

I moan too.

I heart you. nft.

jason&robin

myJunegirls:

I can feel myself starting to get riled up. You do hope parents are smart enough to have an interest in their children.  But you do have to worry- since obviously that isn't always the case.

BD SPOILER BELOW

I was at a BBQ this summer and saw some girls reading BD and I asked who are their parents?  And they held up their hands.  I will admit, I laid into them  The girls couldn't have been 10 yet reading BD?  I asked the parents how they could let their kids read a book, that obviously many adults are reading, though we'll still call it a YA book without knowing what it was about.  I told them there was MANY inappropriate scenes in the books.  When they called the kids over they asked "were there parts you didn't think you should be reading" and they said "yes, they had skipped some parts because they thought they were so bad".  You should have seen the parents faces when I told them a baby was delivered by being chewed out of a belly.  Yup, I was not so nice to them.  I told them maybe you should understand what your kids are reading BEFORE they read it.

I am right there with you. There are many different definitions of "parenting".

Jenandtonica

It could be ignorance due to my lack of children, but I fail to see the point in worrying if you feel you're doing your job as a parent to your own children. Is it charity worry for the kids with craptastic parents? Pre-emptive worry so the kids with craptastic parents don't eff up the ones with good parents?

jason&robin

I don't know. I care about all kids I guess.

Jenandtonica

jason&robin:

I don't know. I care about all kids I guess.

nothing wrong with that, esp. if you end up making a good impression on a kid who otherwise wouldn't ... what, I don't know. Wouldn't something.

My lack of sleep is catching up to my brain.

jason&robin

It's also kind of annoying when other kids are doing things your don't want your kid to do. I am sure if I had a 10 year old daughter and she wanted to read BD, we would probably have to have a stern coversation about why she couldn't read it. Then she would yell that all the cool girls are reading it. That puts you in a bad spot.

There is this girl in DS's preschool class that runs around stealing sippy cups and toys. It annoys me! I am trying to teach DS to share and behave. It's more difficult when he is watching other children misbehave....especially when their moms are right there too.

xboopiesx

jCamsquared:

xboopiesx:

I moan too.

I heart you. nft.

heeheeheeeheee pink puffy heart?

Jenandtonica

I hate shitty kids. A lot. I swear, if I end up with some demonic child, I'm shipping it off to military school.

myJunegirls

jason&robin:

I don't know. I care about all kids I guess.

i guess this is me too.  I hate meeting children whose parents obviously don't give two hoots what they do, and it does make my job harder.  I already get the "well so and so's parents let her do that".  Tough tooties.  But I happen to be very strict so maybe I am just mean that things like this bother me.

jason&robin

myJunegirls:

jason&robin:

I don't know. I care about all kids I guess.

i guess this is me too.  I hate meeting children whose parents obviously don't give two hoots what they do, and it does make my job harder.  I already get the "well so and so's parents let her do that".  Tough tooties.  But I happen to be very strict so maybe I am just mean that things like this bother me.

They will thank you for it later!

Cinderella Spankypants

BlairWaldorf:

I dunno, I had a brief stint in the 5th grade when I thought I was Sailor Moon.

I'm really Sailor Jupiter, but don't tell anyone.