Hi girls, I need your help!

enyala

I have a Muslim friend who feels very strongly that homosexuality is a choice, while I feel very strongly that it's not. I said there's scientific evidence that is starting to prove my point. I don't know how much he'll care, since his beliefs are very much based on his religion and not science, but can anybody point me to some credible sources of scientific proof that people are born homosexual?

I greatly appreciate any help in this matter.

One of your biggest Allys,

Dani

enyala

Seriously?  Is nobody going to help me here?  I have a very opinionated friend here and I need something to back my position up.

leapgirl8

You might be able to find some helpful studies here:?http://borngay.procon.org/

This article is old (1993), but decent:?http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,978923,00.html

I'm sure there are others...but I just found these through Google...I rely more on my own sense than science to tell me I was born gay ?

?

KimNSandy

Well..this isn't really much help but I thought I would throw my 2 cents worth in....

I believe there are actually people who are genetically wired as homosexual and others who DO make a decison to change teams at some point in their life.

I was with men before Sandy as far as real relationships go. I had some fun times with some girls but nothing serious. Then I met her and she was absolutely EVERYTHING I could ever dream of for my mate. I truly believe we are soul mates as we are so wonderfully matched.

But I didn't grow up or spend the prior parts of my life feeling like I was missing out because I really liked girls yet I was stuck with guys.  I've always been open-minded about stuff but know in my heart I am not like Sandy who has known since childhood she was gay.

So that being said, I have caught a certain amount of grief from people as they say things like, I'm going thru a "phase" or I'm not a "real" lesbian because I haven't always been this way.

Truth is, it's a difficult thing to understand for some people and due to religious beliefs or just general closed-mindedness, some people will NEVER understand. It's frustrating and hurtful and a waste of energy. But it is what it is. All I know is that my life is my own and I have found someone that is my everything...my heart and soul and I have NEVER been happier in my life. So if this is a "phase" then so be it. I intend it to be a "phase" I spend the rest of my life in!!

Sorry for the rambling and sorry I am not really helping you with your quest for scientific proof...but thanks for listening anyway! Good luck with your loudly opinionated person.

Kim 

 

Mrs._F

I would check out Google as leapgirl did above.   There honestly is not much out there in the way of concrete scientific proof that people are born gay.  You could try searching for "pheremones gay lesbian" becuase I know there has been research done on the way that gays and lesbians respond to pheremones of the same sex (surprise, surprise,  we respond to the same-sex as heteros do to opposite-sex) - that doesn't prove a "gay gene" or anything, but it does show that our attraction is biological and not imaginary or whatever.

Sexuality is a very individual thing - each person is different.  Many gay people do feel that they/we are born gay/lesbian/bisexual/straight, but many also believe that sexuality is fluid and that in the course of our lifetimes we could have many different desires and therefore identities.

But regardless of whether or not there is scientific proof of a "gay gene" or what have you, we are who we are and should be accepted as such. 

I identify as a lesbian - could I have possible lived a relatively happy existence married to a man? Maybe.  Might I have dated men in the future had I not met my wife when I did?  Maybe.  Does that mean that I am making a "choice"? Maybe.  Why do I bother mentioning this to you?  Because even if all gay people chose to be gay as your friend believes we do, we should still be treated equally.  Biology is not the only thing that should make us deserving of equality - the simple fact that we are human beings who are not harming others in the way we live our lives should be enough.  So maybe you need to open up the conversation a little more.

(Also - no need to get testy about slow responses.  This board is not rapid-fire like some of the nationals.  Sometimes there's just not much activity.)

enyala

Thanks for your help!

 I wasn't getting testy, just anxious.  And it was 'cause I'd seen that an awful lot of people had read it but not responded, as I was hoping that they would.

 I wish I could open everyone's eyes like mine are.  There are a lot of things that I believe politically are no one else's business.  Gay marriage, abortion, etc.  These should be rights regardless of whether the majority would make those choices (as if being gay is a choice) or not.  I would never choose to abort a pregnancy, yet I strongly feel that other people should have that choice.  Same goes for gay marriage.

 Thanks again girls!