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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I need advice
So, my SIL finally came to see me tonight. I haven't seen her since Christmas which I found to be really odd. Anyway, she comes in and tells me I'm probably wondering why she hasn't been here. Turns out she "accidentally" on purpose looked at my blog and saw my entry from Thanksgiving (remember me complaining about her kids and how they don't discipline them). She says her feelings were really hurt and she didn't want to talk about it now because she didn't want to upset me that we could talk about it after the baby was born. Then of course the next 40 minutes was really awkward as we didn't have much to say to each other until dh got here. Part of me is mad that she read it and is holding it against me because they were my personal feelings and even though it's public, I never gave her the information to look it up. But of course most of me just feels horrible since I obviously hurt her feelings and I'm sure I would feel the same way she did if the situation was reversed. I just don't know what to do. I truly like her and don't want any hard feelings between us. But I'm not sure how to even approach the situation now. Any advice is appreciated.
Re: I need advice
That's really tough. I'm not sure how she accidently found it - I'm assuming she didn't know you had a blog?
In anycase, remember that you are going to have to deal with her for the rest of your life - you're family now. I completely understand where you're coming from. Does DH agree with you about his sister's kids? If so, maybe you guys could sit down together with her and talk about it. I don't remember the blog off the top of my head, so I apologize for that. Was Thanksgiving at your house?
Explain to her that it really hurt your feelings that her kids misbehaved like that at your get together and that they didn't do anything to minimize the situation. I believe they said they wouldn't eat your food, correct? Tell her how that hurt your feelings as well, and they could have said something to their kids. It is America, and you have every right to express your feelings on your personal blog. I see how she is upset because it wasn't brought up to her ahead of time, and she is just being protective of her kids (as I'm sure you will be once the little one is here!
). She needs to think about whether or not she wants to ruin a relationship with you over some personal opinions. I hope everything works out. GL
I remember your Thanksgiving post and I think you had every right to be angry. However when you're posting your thoughts on on a blog, you're making it public information. Anyone could find it, even if you didn't expect them to. If you feel bad for hurting her feelings, I would apologize. Tell her that you really were still really upset when you posted and maybe offer to take the post down if you can. Hopefully she can understand why you were angry and will understand that you never meant for her to see the post.
And who knows, maybe it's a good thing that she saw her kids' behavior through someone else's eyes. It seems like some parents don't realize how badly their kids need discipline until someone points it out to them. Good luck!
ITA with this. I think as much as it might be hard/painful for your SIL to hear that about her kids and their behavior, its probably alot better coming from an extended family member than it would be from a stranger, etc. If it was me I wouldn't go to huge lengths to apologize. I mean seriously? She is holding a grudge this long over a blog entry? She needs to put on her big girl panties and face the facts that people aren't going to always agree on things including parenting styles.