Alabama Nesties
wife2james
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Anna Marie
Hey girl! I just noticed that you're doing FAM. Can you tell me about it? I would like to start doing it for a few reasons: to save money, and the fact that I'm just plain tired of taking a pill every night and also of the horrible headaches I get from it about twice a month. I kinda skimmed through TCOYF at the bookstore a few weeks ago but I didn't really go in depth with it. Plus, I'm having a hard time getting DH on board with it. lol Do you care to share your experience with it? Also, is it the same as NFP?
Siggy coming soon....
Re: Anna Marie
Hey lady!
I would love to tell you what I know, but I'm the first to admit that I'm still a noob so I'm still working out all of the kinks and trying to figure out what my body is doing
Lilcrablegs, Starsmaycollide, and MissLMS are three people I know are doing/did FAM (B and Lydia are pg right now, so obviously they're not doing it at the moment 
), so they would probaby give better advice than me. I want to say there are others around here that do it as well, but I can't remember who 
What I will tell you is that the most you'll spend money on is $10 or so for a basal thermometer- you need one that reads one-tenth of a degree. Try not to get one that reads one-twentieth, because it gets confusing. You'll also need to make enough copies of the chart to last you a while, but if you don't have access to a copier that's only like $3.
You can also go the digital route and buy the TCOYF software to chart on your computer, and that's a $30 one-time fee. It's like fertility friend, but from what I understand it's basically the master copy of the chart that's in the book, just interactive
(Sorry this is so long...)
I went off of BCP on December 18th, and I have read TCOYF cover to cover probably about 6-7 times since then, and 3-4 times before that. It is super super important to really understand the techniques of checking your fertility signs, and just as important to understand the FAM rules for using it as birth control. Anything less and you're setting yourself up for an unwanted PG.
It's scary at first, but it's important to either abstain or use backup for your first several cycles until you have a better understanding of what your body is doing and you have a chance to flush all of those hormones out of your system. Every woman's body does that at different rates, and it takes some women months to finally ovulate for the first time after they quit the pill. I was lucky to ovulate on my first cycle. You won't know what your body will do when you quit BCP until you actually do it... For me, I had false high temps for the first week and my CM was all wonky. It could be completely different for you, or just like me. You never know!
Overall, I think the other girls doing FAM will agree with me that it's the best decision we've ever made. I love knowing what my body is doing and taking a proactive approach towards TTA. It's fascinating to know that our bodies have such obvious fertility signs. Even DH has gotten involved with the process- he's been asking a lot of questions, he makes sure I write everything down, and has been more than happy to use backup until I get on more of a schedule. I feel better, I didn't realize how depressed I was until I got off, and I actually want sex now (which is HUGE considering the fact that I didn't even want to be touched when I was on BCP).
The difference between FAM and NFP is with FAM, you abstain during your fertile period and with NFP, you use backup.
I hope the other FAM girls chime in to cover anything I missed! It's a huge decision to make, but in mine and DH's situation it was totally worth it. I have to stress this: at first it isn't easy, and all of the information is a lot to take in. If you at all doubt your ability to do it day in, day out, and follow the rules religiously, I suggest not doing it. You know yourself better than anyone else, so I know you'll make the right choice
Just to clarify, I have read TCOYF and discussed it here on the board, ?but I haven't actually started using it quite yet. :-P I just got interested in it before we really decided to talk about further plans.I liked the idea of investigating a pill alternative.
Anyway, it really is worth it to just get through the book. It's long, but I think she does a good job of saying things in plain English. You could start with just the first couple chapters, but you'll find you feel really educated!
Also, if you want, fertility friend offers tutorial things to help you understand how to chart, so that might be useful to you too. ?
As for your DH, I think the best thing is just to explain it to him after reading more about it, and show how it really does makes sense. After all, we can only get pregnant for (give or or take) a week out of a whole ?month . The rest of the time we aren't fertile.
?When you think of that , it makes you wonder why we spend so much time using hormones or other things for just those few days. ?Also as the author said, how fair is it that we are the ones fertile for a few days, ?while men are able to get women pregnant ?24/7, but we get stuck with the BC responsibilities? :-P
??Once I get off the pill, I hope to not go back on it.?My plan is to use charting both to avoid and concieve in the future, rather than get on and off hormonal methods.
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Sorry about the misconception! I just figured you were on it since you knew so much about it.
That's a good point on explaining it to DH. My DH is a secondary ed bio major, so I just let him read chapter 6.
no problem! ?At the time I just heard about it, but it was put on the back burner....right now ?I am still learning and rereading.I think you caught me right after I read it. I am starting to reread it now because I feel fuzzy on some details...:-P
?
also, I have a confession. I know people always say how mean they are, but I learned most of what I know from BOTB! Really! I used to lurk a lot and learned tons....then bought TCOYF.
Yep! I've done that too. It's helped at times when my fertile signs were ambiguous and I couldn't exactly put my finger on it in the book, because a lot of the BOTB'ers are coming off of BCP as well.
Tippykins, I might actually email you at some point, if that's ok!
no problem!
Hi! We're using NFP too. I don't think AM left anything out! I bolded a few things in her post that I completetly agree with. TCOYF was hard for me at first, but after reading the FF tutorials, going back to read it was a lot easier. Definitely truly learn hot to gauge your fertility signs and use extra care the first few months. My first cycle off BCP (Dec. 21) was the same as AM's with the false high temps and crazy CM and was 31 days long w/ an O on CD 17. Well, this cycle I O'd on CD 12 and on CD 7 we had unprotected sex. Chances are we're not going to be pregnant, but to think that a day or two closer to 12 the risk would have been higher. In our case, we'd be happy if we were pregnant, but in yours you may not. Be extra careful!
I agree that it was the best decision we've made! We've both noticed that I feel like a completely different person and I have a sex drive now! And he definitely does participate and makes sure I took my temp and have some protection handy, lol. For me it's not hard or annoying. In the beginning I felt like it was a hassle, but now I set my alarm and take my temps everyday. Even on the weekend I wake up to take it and go back to sleep. It's so fun to know so much about my body. Once you get the hang of it, you'll enjoy it too!
I don't have much to add... the others covered a lot! Check out TCYOF (a lot of libraries have it too). Also, I have this book, Natural Birth Control Made Simple.
http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Birth-Control-Made-Simple/dp/0897934032/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1233939645&sr=8-2
It's similar to TCYOF, but I read both. It's a big decision to make, so I would just recommend reading up on it before making major changes! Good luck!
These ladies have given you some really great advice. I am charting to try to conceive. Have been for 8 months. I have really learned tons about my body and like the others said I feel so much better!
The only thing I'll add is that you have to take your temperature consistenly because I have found out the hard way the difference an hour can make on your temp.
Like Stars said you only have a few fertile days per cycle. And only a 20% chance of getting pregnant each cycle. This may be some info you want to pass on to DH. But still it can happen, so like AM said you have to be religous about the rules!
TCOYF and Fertility Friend and lurking on the Getting Pregnant board have been godsends for me. I have learned tons. Good luck with everything!!
I'm jumping in here. I've ordered TCOYF, just got off BCP and am going to chart next month (right now I'm just counting my days) and DH is all for this as we don't want to get pregnant until about May.
Ok, stupid question here but what is FAM?
That's great, KT!
FAM is the method of birth control taught in TCOYF. It's when you chart your CM, BBT, and (optional) cervical position.
Edit: I just wanted to add that I think it's a great idea to begin charting when you get off BCP because it may take you a while to ovulate (like I mentioned before, it can take as little as the first cycle or as long as a year) and that's the most reliable way to know whether or not you're ovulating. JMO!
I just didn't know what FAM was and should have TCOYF soon. I will start charting everything (ok maybe not position, ha.) with my next cycle. We just decided for me to get off of the BCP and may not ever get back on b/c it may be better for me w/my migraines, but we'll see.
And this is all new to me.
I'll see how I feel about all of it after I read the book.
That's great!!! It has really helped me with my headaches. You might have a few withdrawl headaches so you might want to be prepared for that -I had a headache every night for a week my first week off of BCP- but in my personal experience after that first week I actually felt 100x better than before. I would love to know how it goes! It's so liberating to not have to depend on BCP anymore.
Checking your position is a hard habit to acquire, but now that I've been doing it for a while I don't even think about it anymore. Good luck!
Wow! I've been busy with work all day and I just now have a chance to come in and check this post. Everybody gave such great information!
I will clarify, when I said I skimmed through TCOYF I meant I only looked at like the first 2 pages, and even that seemed overwhelming to me. When I told DH about it I think he was just leery about the unprotected sex because we're not planning on TTC for another 1 1/2-2 years. I realize that I have alot of research to do and I am already nervous just thinking about it. lol Whenever I start feeling more comfortable and know more about it I'll approach James again and see what he says.
I'll have to start lurking on BOTB and Getting Pregnant and I'll have to go to the library and see if I can find TCOYF and look in to that book that Bethany posted. I also would like to learn more about my body in addition to the birth control.
Thanks for your info ladies!
I will start charting w/my next cycle. I was too late w/the first one getting off BCP b/c it was here like the day after and we decided all this so quickly. No big deal I don't think, I'll chart my temps then.
Thanks for all the info. We are hoping to get pregnant from sometime in between May - Dec. Hoping we are lucky and blessed, but we'll see!!!!
I'm really hoping being off BCP will help w/my migraines. I'm slowly getting off my other meds and hoping that I can be somewhat drug free soon. I'm also changing my diet and will be working out more, this should all help.
That's great! Good luck, girl! =D
BTW- happy anniversary!
THANKS!!!