Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Newbie/Lurker- we want to have a baby
We want to start trying after the summer, maybe September. I've spoke to another couple that have gone through it twice and I just went to my new OB/GYN but I still have sooo many questions.
Where do I start? Do I make an appt with a reproduction clinic? Do I have to- meaning do I have to pay them to inseminate me or can your doctor do it? I've heard both ways but my doctor says she's never done it but no one has ever asked either. She also said I can do it myself which sounds like a bad idea. I don't want drugs or any help, just ovulate and inseminate, how much is this really going to cost? My doc told me to go for an ultrasound.
I'm just looking for initial guidance from people who have done this. I live north of Boston if there are any local references you can give I'd appreciate it. Is there a good book out there for me? I'm really starting at the beginning here. I'm nervous and excited and have no idea what all your acronyms mean yet!
TIA!
Re: Newbie/Lurker- we want to have a baby
we are from outside of boston so I can tell you our route. It is also how another woman on the board has gotten pregnant. We used http://www.aicgb.com/index.html alternative insemination center of greater boston. It is part of the midwives of mt auburn hospital and is in Arlington. It was great working with the midwives. You need to set up a consult with them and pos. a second appointment for an exam. They will store your sperm for you until you do your iui. If you are in good health and think you ovulate on your own this would be a good route. We just used opks to time the iuis and went in the day after we got a positve test. They also will perscribe clomid ( a fert drug) if you are not successful after 3 iuis. We got pregnant on our 3rd iui! The other woman on the board's wife got pregnant in their 1st try. We really liked them. We also had the book the essential guide to lesbian conception which we got from amazon. here is our blog about the process so far http://darwinsmommies.blogspot.com/
good luck and welcome
We inseminated at our doctor's office and at home. Our gyn did have some experience in doing IUI's but it was her focus. We did not use any medication except for progesterone because my partner needed it for a particular issue. We used a known donor so we had fresh sperm which made things very flexible. The at home inseminations were really easy. We were a bit nervous about them before we did it but it was not difficult. Just take a needleless syringe and shoot it in. It would be more complicated with frozen sperm though -- I am not entirely sure of the process. It also took us three months. We did 2-4 inseminations each month.
We also through the Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception (etc..) was a great book -- even our donor found it helpful, as have straight friends who are trying to get pregnant.
Good luck!
Welcome and thanks for de-lurking!
IMO, if your OBGYN has never ever done an IUI, I'd find another one. Not that it's rocket science (and yes you can do ICIs on your own at home [IUIs are generally not do-it-yourself]), but I'd say get the most bang for your buck and use someone who at least has some experience (if you are going to pay for help/IUIs). Also, if you ever need drugs, you want someone who will monitor you closely.
Why did your doc recommend an ultrasound?
If you're not 100% sure you're ovulating, I'd recommend charting for a little bit to make sure. TCOYF (the Taking Charge Of Your Fertility book) is a popular primer on charting.
As for cost, it varies substantially based on how much "help" you need and whether or not you are using a sperm bank. Here are two sperm bank's price sheets, just as an example:
http://www.fairfaxcryobank.com/fees08.shtml
http://www.cryobank.com/Services/Pricing/
We're budgeting $1000 per in-office IUI (IUI only-- sperm will be extra), but don't expect it to be quite that much.
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
My wife and I were in the same position as you this fall. We didn't know where to start and had so many questions. People here have been wonderful in answering all those little things. As SSG mentioned we also went with the midwives at aicgb. They are easy to work with and great at giving you all the information you will need. We did our first IUI with them in January and my wife got pregnant on the firt try. In the months leading up to our first insem we had a consult and an exam with aicgb, picked our donor through California Cryobank, and read through "The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, birth and parenting." That is a great book that will also help you better understand the process however they suggest that you keep track of your temp and numerous different things. Like SSG, all we tracked was ovulation using an ovulation predictor kit (OPK) and that seemed to work fine. Also, once you have chosen a donor you can have your sperm shipped to AICGB and they will store it for free which is great. After you get pregnant you can use whomever you like for your OB/GYN.
If you have any other questions feel free to ask. Good Luck.
Thanks for all the info, this really helps.
thiswillbe- my doc ordered the ultrasound to check and make sure there is nothing noticable that could cause a miscarriage or prevent a pregnancy. Sounds good to me!
Ahhhh . . . I have not posted on this board in many years but I am going through the same process on my own now. ?I am actually going to an orientation at Reproductive Science Center in Lexington tomorrow, but have no idea whether I will end up working with them. ?I have also spoken to Boston IVF and done an orientation at Fenway. ?I had wanted to deliver with the midwives at Mt. Auburn back when I was planning to have a child previously, but hadn't realized that I could also use them for my inseminations. ?I am excited to have read that!
At Boston IVF the IUI procedure costs 450 for the first insemination each month, and 200 for the second. ?They also store the sperm for you and don't charge until after a significant period of time. ?That is significant because the sperm banks are all very different from eachother and they tend to nickel and dime you for everything. ?The good news is that a call to the bank will probably clarify everything.?
I became a member of spermcenter.com, a site that compiles all of the donor information from reputable banks across the country. ?It is $25 for six months, but try searching for free (they just won't let you see what bank he is from). I have 6 or so favorites based upon the free info I got, and then researched the banks. ?Midwest Sperm Bank stood out to me as being nice to work with, and oddly, the cheapest(200 for each vial plus 100 shipping). ?California, Pacific Reproductive Services, and Fairfax were the most expensive. New England Cryo is also good and you can eliminate the shipping fees by delivering it to your doc or clinic yourself.
MA covers IUI's if there is a diagnosis of infertility, which they won't diagnosis until after a year of trying without conception (even if you were to miscarry).
Good Luck!?
the bank we use charges around $350 for IUI ready vials, plus shipping, although we use the clinic next door to the bank so they waive delivery charges for us. really a lot is going to depend on what bank you use, your doctor, whether you need medicated cycles, and your insurance and what they cover. they have age ranges for certain things, or will cover some meds and tests but not others. we found that a lot of things we expected to have to pay for were covered, but some things we expected to be haven't been.
i'd strongly suggest not only calling the clinic you're interested in to find out how they generally do things, but also contacting your insurance company to find out exactly what they'll cover and when. welcome, and good luck to you!
I'm late to the party, but you've gotten lots of great advice above! The first thing I recommend you do is get a couple of books. Two that are very helpful and have the answers to all the nuts and bolts are The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy & Birth by Stephanie Brill, and The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians by Rachel Pepper. These books are like the lesbian TTC bibles.
Your doc is right, you can indeed inseminate on your own. You just use the type of plastic syringe used to give babies or pets liquid medicine (available at any drug store). The tricky part about doing it at home is that if you are using a sperm bank, you need to defrost the samples yourself, and if you defrost too quickly or too slowly, for example, it can compromise the quality of the sperm. So you can't feel as "sure" as if you do it at the doc's. However, if you were using a known donor (like a friend) and inseminating with fresh samples (i.e. he does his business in a cup and then gives it to you), it's pretty easy to inseminate at home, because there's no defrosting.
The Alternative Insemination Center of Greater Boston in Arlington has a great reputation is also known as the most affordable in the Boston area (as you can see from the prices pp's quoted above!). They will store your sperm for you for free just like Boston IVF - but all of the appointments cost less with them.
If you want a more medicalized process, you should look into seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist. At AICG, as long as you're in good health, they start with the assumption that the most natural way will work (just inseminating when you ovulate), while with an RE, they go a more medicalized route right from the start, doing more tests and ultrasounds, and they are likely to favor using drugs to aide the process. Just something to think about.
But again, get the books! You'll feel so much better and more informed after reading through them. On this board we have a post every Wednesday about all things TTC, so definitely check that out and feel free to participate!
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer