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Happy and sad
As some of you may or may not know, I have been TTC for about a year and a half now. Last year at this time I started clomid, with no success. Oct of 2008, I started fertility treatments. It has been a very hard time for me, emotionally that is.
Anyway, about 2 months ago I found out one of my close co-workers is pg. She had been trying for about a year and has PCOS like myself. I am super happy for her. Today I just found out that my other close co-worker is pg. She got pg on ther first try. Again, I am super excited for her.
I really am very excited for both of my friends. I can't wait to help plan baby showers and be as supportive as I can be. But I can't help but feel so miserable about my own inability to get pg. I know that I need to be more patient and it will happen when it is suppose to. I have reached the end of my rope. Literally! We can no longer afford to continue the medical treatments. And without the treatments, by body does not ovualate on its own. I am at a total loss and feel like a total failure as a woman. Oh well, life goes on.
Thanks for reading and letting me vent.
Re: Happy and sad
I know what you are going through Marina! I'm sorry! I feel the same failure at times. Although I was blessed with one child like you, I still would love to be a new mommy once again.
Email me if you need to! xoxo
Marina..
I'm sooo sorry you have to go thru this. I've been dealing with PCOS for almost three years now and my body doesn't ovulate on it's own either so I know exactly how you feel on the "failure" part. In no way , have you failed even though is hard please don't feel that way!
Lots of hugs!
I really am sorry you feel so down. And you are not a failure! Our female bodies are just complicated and have this way of making everything soo much harder than it really should be! I'm sending postive thoughts and vibes your way.
And your emotional journey brings back some really ugly feelings I had during my ttc#2. If you recall, my cousin used my birthday to announce she was pregnant and my family wasn't very kind about it....ugh...still bothers me....fwiw, there are many of us who have had to deal with sadness, loss and grief. Just know you aren't alone. You always have the nestie girls to lift your spirits.
I am so sorry you are going through this. ?Let me know if you want to talk. ?I don't have PCOS or anything like that, but I have been off the pill since May and we aren't having any luck.
HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marina you are an AMAZING person and mom!!
Keep your head high.
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. Even tho I have my boys now, I don't think infertility ever leaves. I know how hard it is for you when others are pregnant. It's so bittersweet - you are happy for them, but it's a fat reminder you are not pg.
Have you looked into non-medical treatments to get your body ovualting, eg acu, herbs etc. Not sure what type of insurance you have but I went to an accu lady who was amazing. If you insurance will cover it she will write down a non-fertility issue so you can get your insurance to pay for it. I can email you her info if you are interested.
Please don't feel like a failure - you are anything but! It will happen, your baby is just waiting for the right moment to come into your life!
oh marina, i'm so sorry this is late, but big hugs to you!!!
i'm sorry this is happening and i pray that things will change.
just recently one of my friends was at the end of her financial rope as well, and she had to stop treatments, when all of a sudden, she was able to get pregnant. she is now 12 weeks!
i pray that you will be able to do the same!!
i'm just a text, phone call and e mail away, and if you want to get together for dinner soon, i'm up for that too!
Thank you ladies for all the wonderful support. I know that I can always count on you.
So, I got home and did what any normal girl would do. The hubby and I broke our diets and went to dinner at Islands. We had a long talk about the whole pg thing and other stuff.
I will try not to beat myself up too much about this. For the time being.. I am more at peace.