Same-Sex Households
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
A Very Real Version of Me.
So my life hasn't exactly been working out the way I've wanted it to, but I figure that after a really good year last year. Apparently, it's my year to let life work it's self out.
I haven't slept a night on my own, in couple days. It's really nerve racking getting only a couple hours of sleep a night. I can't even tell you.
All I do is lay in bed at night Julie beside me,and all I can think about is all of the nonsense running through my head. How much I'm screwing things up for us by not having a job, money, what's for dinner tomorrow, missing home, etc, etc.
I think I put up a pretty good front that everything is 'okay', and that it's all going to work out, but honestly, I'm terrified that it's not!
I feel like my scavaging for a job is destroying our plans for the future, inhibiting our ability to do anything better with ourselves. I mean how can we save for a house when we are scraping by in our day to day lives, how can we pay college tuition on an unemployment check, and how can we ever get a better apt, when we struggle to pay rent?
I know what you all are thinking, and I know that this sounds pathetic, but it's true. I'm TERRIFIED of loosing everything that I have worked so hard for, and I'm not seeing an upside to any of this and the poor economy, isn't recovering quick enough for me to smile about it.
I'm not sure what I'm looking fo here, but I'm just trying to be honest. I'm pretty much rambling, but this is all that spills out, and I guess thats okay because it's valid.
Tonight I'll be going to be anxiously awaiting for Friday, the day I find out if I get a pretty high paying job, that could do good things for us.
If I don't get it, well, I haven't even thought about that yet.
XoXo
Rikki
I haven't slept a night on my own, in couple days. It's really nerve racking getting only a couple hours of sleep a night. I can't even tell you.
All I do is lay in bed at night Julie beside me,and all I can think about is all of the nonsense running through my head. How much I'm screwing things up for us by not having a job, money, what's for dinner tomorrow, missing home, etc, etc.
I think I put up a pretty good front that everything is 'okay', and that it's all going to work out, but honestly, I'm terrified that it's not!
I feel like my scavaging for a job is destroying our plans for the future, inhibiting our ability to do anything better with ourselves. I mean how can we save for a house when we are scraping by in our day to day lives, how can we pay college tuition on an unemployment check, and how can we ever get a better apt, when we struggle to pay rent?
I know what you all are thinking, and I know that this sounds pathetic, but it's true. I'm TERRIFIED of loosing everything that I have worked so hard for, and I'm not seeing an upside to any of this and the poor economy, isn't recovering quick enough for me to smile about it.
I'm not sure what I'm looking fo here, but I'm just trying to be honest. I'm pretty much rambling, but this is all that spills out, and I guess thats okay because it's valid.
Tonight I'll be going to be anxiously awaiting for Friday, the day I find out if I get a pretty high paying job, that could do good things for us.
If I don't get it, well, I haven't even thought about that yet.
XoXo
Rikki
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Re: A Very Real Version of Me.
Nothing that i just read sounds pathetic - it sounds real, honest, and familiar. I've definitely been where you are now, i'm guessing many of us have. money struggles are so scary and they can really eat away at our self esteem, but the biggest thing you need to remember is that you're not alone. not only does everyone worry about money at some point, but in this economy there are many jobless and struggling - its not a reflection on you or your abilities (now say that out loud with me 3 times. okay? good.).
What is a reflection on you is your beautiful wife, strong marriage, family and friends. at this time, more than ever, its important to focus on what you do have and what you is positive in your life (you have a lot of great stuff going for you!). I understand your fears and saddness, but you will get through this and there are wonderful things ahead. one foot in front of the other.
((hugs))
ps - not that you mentioned this, but i find that when i'm going through tough times i do a lot of comparing myself to others (thus making myself feel worse and worse) but the truth is that everyone's situation is different. everyone has thier struggles and sucesses no matter how perfect life seems on the outside. much more helpful would have been to focus that energy on the problem and solution at hand rather than worrying so much about what others have, you know? just thought i'd throw that out there, in case.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
I can completely empathize with your worries and lack of sleep due to the demons running thru your mind all night. But....I also firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. Even the hard stuff. So hang in there because you are going to get to where you belong soon enough.
Also, I saw a sign the other day and I thought it was pretty clever and if you really think about the good things you have in your life, you find it IS true..even in your darkest hour...
"I'm too blessed to be stressed"
Try to remember that you ARE making it...maybe not as fast as you would like, but be patient and try to keep up the positive energy so it will come back to you...
KnS
oh, rikki, i'm so sorry. i second everything ctbride said.
i've been there. we've probably all been there at some point or another. i personally think it's pretty amazing that you went out and got another job so quickly after losing your first one, and now you've already had another interview. you're not alone, i promise. big hugs!
I agree with everything said above. Keep your chin up, you are going to do great things and have a happy fullfilled life!