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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Question: Using friends' kids' names?
DH and I had a big debate this weekend over whether it's ok to name your kid the same name as your friends' kids. He said it was never OK, I said it's ok as long as they aren't friends that you hang out with regularly. I see his point, though, and he sees mine. What do you think?
Re: Question: Using friends' kids' names?
hmmmm yes and no. I would never use a name that one of my, or DHs, siblings used for their child (aka no 1st cousins sharing names). Close friends I dont logically have an issue wth but I dont think I would do it anyhow...
For example... y'all know that I am friends with Duff IRL (thanks troll I was trying to keep that QUIET!
) Well Theoretically - nothing wrong with me naming a future daughter Jillian. But in my head, Jillie is, well, HER. So I dont know that it would occur to me to use... make sense?
I think it is OK if you really like the name!
I wouldn't want to use a name like you said of my best friends kids who we see on a regular basis, but if it is someone we see less frequently then I think it is ok.
Ditto Pgh - I think if you know someone with the name already, you don't really consider it because your just associate it with THAT person. That's how I am, at least. I associate names with certain people constantly and wouldn't even be able to name my child the name of a friend I had 10 years ago!
In general, I think you generally shouldn't choose a name of a friend's child. But, there's exceptions - here is a good example of an exception: DH and I have TWO friends who have boys named Jack. Jack has become a popular name in the last few years, and I know of many other Jacks, too. (Hi Jack Blue!)
BUT - our first born son will be named Jack, no matter how many Jacks we come into contact with, no matter how many friends' boys are named Jack before then. This is because we are naming our first boy after DH's grandpa, who he is very close with and who was like a father to him growing up. I think if there's emotional or personal meaning behind choosing a name, it can be used under any circumstances.
I have such wierd views on this, but ultimately, it's ok. You can't tell people what to name their kids. It's such a personal and difficult decision to find the right name, so if you know you've found it, you almost have to use it, whatever it is.
That said, I can never name a son Nate (as much as I want to) b/c Jillie's BFF across the street is Nate and it just doesn't seem right.
My cousin and his wife just named their daughter Lillian. The first day I found out, I was ticked. I mean, they're calling her Lillie, and if one more person in my family says, "We're going to have a Lillie and a Jillie", I might pinch them. But, 3 out of this child's 4 great grandmothers were named Lillian.
So, while I would be careful on this issue myself, I realize other people don't have to go my standard.
Lucky for me, I don't like the names my friends have chosen for their kids, and my half brother and cousins have picked rather unique names, so we're safe.
I don't think I would use the same name as a close friend, but people I see only once in awhile, I might think of using if I really liked the name. I wouldn't use the same name as a family member, although DH has a ton of cousins who all have a bunch of kids, so their might be a similar name. We don't see them often, so I don't think it will be an issue.
Who knows, buy the time we have kids, this may all change.
I am torn on this one.
One of my High School best friends named her daughter Allison. I love that name and was considering it for my own daughter (before she got pregnant) if I ever have one.
When I found out what she was going to name her daughter I told her that I loved the name and that I was thinking about it for my own child in the future...but not to worry, that I wouldn't use it now that she did.
Now, I kind of wish I never said that. I do still like the name. I don't see her very often but I try to email her periodically and we usually try to get together once a year with our other High school friends for dinner and a drink.
I wouldn't care if one of my friends used the same name for their child as I did, I would actually consider it a compliment.
We have friends (DH used to play baseball with the father) who just had a little girl named Emma. We probably see them a few times a year, if that. I am not going to cross Emma off my list just because of them.
On the other hand I work with one of my very good friends (a BM). She just had a boy Jake. I would never consider naming my son Jake - it just wouldn't seem right.
I wanted to add that my DH is just like yours.
I love the name Ava and have always talked about naming our first daughter that. Some guy in his office has a daughter named Ava. His office is about 100 people and DH barely speaks to this guy. Yet he feels he can't name our future daughter the same.
I am of the thought that you can't "steal" a name.
Hey- TheATeam is a personal friend of mine from before she was a nestie and I'm still naming my boy "Aidan" even though she has one. She doesn't seem so upset by this.
If you like a name that someone else named their kid- to me it's only a compliment if someone wants to use that as their childs name.
Now- when pregnant w/ Anthony my friend was pregnant at the same time- her DH's name is Anthony and he always wanted a Jr. They were having a surprise and had chosen "Anthony" as their boy name...and when we told them what we were naming ours, they changed their name choice...even though we've said for YEARS we would name our first son Anthony.
I didn't understand that...if he's always wanted a Jr. it shouldn't matter that someone else was "using" the name.