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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Random Deep Thought Q for You...
My friend just emailed me asking me what to do...I thought I'd branch out and take a sort of poll of advice...
About a year and a bit ago, My friend, A, and her friend, B, from grade school had a terrible fight. The friend didn't support the religious views of A's boyfriend (C). B and C had shared words before about different political things and "hot button" issues. B took out her frustration on A (my friend) and it resulted in this terrible fight. My friend was called horrible names and was asked, in the end, to choose between B and C.
She chose C and hasn't said a word to B since their fight.
Yesterday, she received a 2-page letter in the mail from B apologizing for her immature comments...
and explaining she joined Divinity school this year.
My friend is very hurt still by the comments said. She isn't compromising her relationship with her near-fiance and she's worried that this letter might be driven by the ultra-religious environment this former friend is now engulfed in on a daily basis. Basically feels it might be a letter for personal gain and part of a spiritual check list of hers, not one of honest remorse....but also misses her friendship terribly and wishes the fight hadn't happened.
What would you do in this situation?
About a year and a bit ago, My friend, A, and her friend, B, from grade school had a terrible fight. The friend didn't support the religious views of A's boyfriend (C). B and C had shared words before about different political things and "hot button" issues. B took out her frustration on A (my friend) and it resulted in this terrible fight. My friend was called horrible names and was asked, in the end, to choose between B and C.
She chose C and hasn't said a word to B since their fight.
Yesterday, she received a 2-page letter in the mail from B apologizing for her immature comments...
and explaining she joined Divinity school this year.
My friend is very hurt still by the comments said. She isn't compromising her relationship with her near-fiance and she's worried that this letter might be driven by the ultra-religious environment this former friend is now engulfed in on a daily basis. Basically feels it might be a letter for personal gain and part of a spiritual check list of hers, not one of honest remorse....but also misses her friendship terribly and wishes the fight hadn't happened.
What would you do in this situation?
Re: Random Deep Thought Q for You...
(Hey Whit!)
This is definitely a deep-thought question. I can somewhat relate, because I have a friend who became a born-again Christian a couple years ago, and I have seen her drastically morph.
For one, she definitely brings up things from her past that she had to "confront," "face," or "come to terms with." It was drastic and a bit odd to me. She actually sent letters to several people from her past explaining to them how she felt about certain situations, and telling some of them that she had come to terms with the situation but never wanted to see them again. She also reconciled with certain people and went out of her way to confront others. One mutual friend of ours described this behavior as "socially unacceptable," and I see what she means.
Because of my experience with a similar personality, I do think that B may be just confronting issues from her past for her own good, whether it's to lessen guilt or to "come to terms" with hurt she has caused or experienced, like in my friend's case. But on the same note, if it is religiously based, it's probably heartfelt. I think the remorse is genuine, even if it is something she's doing for her own spiritual reasons.
That all said, I personally would respond to the letter (I wouldn't call - I would write back) by telling her my feelings. Then I would ask her to call me if her remorse was genuine and if she was interested in salvaging the friendship. That way, the ball is still in her court, and it would rule out the idea that she just needed to send the letter to apologize but wasn't really interested in making up for the hurt caused. Then I'd take it from there - either she'd make the effort of she wouldn't.
Sometimes, in life, people just need to forgive and move on. If they were super close, I think they should work on restoring their damaged relationship.