Columbus Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Need advice for a friend (long)
I have a really close friend who got married a few months before DH and I did. About 6 months after they got married, she noticed him acting odd at times. Like one day he would be super hyper and happy and then the next day really down and lethargic. She thought it had to do with the fact that he wasn't really enjoying his job, but it kept happening and happening. Then she noticed their money disappearing more quickly than normal, even though they normally made enough to pay bills and have a decent amount leftover for groceries and other expenses. She finally asked him about it and it turns out he started taking methadone pills because it gave him energy and made his job more bearable. Long story short, he was hooked on them and when he tried to go off of them, he got really sick. They tried weening him down, which worked for awhile, but he always would go back and buy more. I feel horrible for her because she is trying desperately to get him off of them and knows he is trying, but nothing seems to work. He went to a rehab place, but they basically told him he wasn't that bad and that the treatment wouldn't be effective because his addiction had to be a lot worse for him to get the treatment medicine and that he'd be better off just weening down like they had tried. And if he wanted to do their counseling, it would cost thousands of dollars they really don't have. They've also talked about him attending Narcotics Anonymous, but he is a little reluctant to go. Has anyone heard about someone going? Was it effective? Are there any other treatments he could do? I know she loves him and wants to help, but she feels helpless and sees her marriage falling apart. She doesn't want to be married to someone who will have this problem for the rest of his life and says she will leave him if things don't improve soon. I am trying to be there for her, but I don't know what else to say or what other advice to give. Any suggestions?? I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this because none of our other friends know and she can't talk to her family about it because she knows they will just tell her to leave him and she doesn't want them to hate him.
Re: Need advice for a friend (long)
I'm in no way a drug or rehab expert, but he was most likely getting sick from detoxing...coming off of drugs (especially ones you are addicted to) is going to wreck havoc on your body as your body purges all of that from its system. Personally, it doesn't sound like he went to a helpful rehab facility...they may want to look into another one. I would be suspicious of any facility that said the addiction wasn't severe enough for them to treat yet.
It sounds like your friend is going through quite a bit...I hope her husband gets the help he needs. If nothing else, your friend should look into counseling or attending a group for family members of drug addicts.
Having gone through this with my friend Shawn, I understand how your friend is feeling. My friend Shawn was heavily addicted. So much so he doesn't remember much of his life while doing the drugs. He's drug free for over 2 years now. However what he did to detox his body is considered controversial. He went to a facility in Michigan that bound the reciptors (sp) in his brain. And of course he's now on Naltraxon (sp) for the rest of his life. Very expensive and very scary procedure, but it's worked for thousands of addicts.
While I don't think your friend's hubby sounds like he is that bad, the point is that he DOES have a drug problem. Can he go to his family doctor and seek out advice? I would start there. And definately find a new rehab facility. No one should be told their problem isn't severe enough. A drug problem, no matter how big or small, is still a drug problem.
I hope he can get the help he needs. Hugs to your friend.
I have a lot of experience with this subject. You should get your friend in touch with Al-Anon (even though he's addicted to meth, they can help her to start helping herself). Also, he should try to get in touch with someone at Parkside for treatment (or a similar facility). At the very least, NA meetings are essential, but he has to be willing to help himself. He's most likely reluctant to go to meetings because a) that means he'll have to face that he has a real problem and b) it means he'll have to actually quit the drugs!
I feel for your friend.....it's horrible to watch someone you love (not to mention someone who you've committed your life to through marriage) go through this. But there is an end, and there are many happy endings. :-) I know first hand.
Thanks for all the advice, ladies. I'll pass it on to her. I really hope they can get this resolved soon. I know how hard it has been on her.