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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Does it ever go away?
Ever since I lost my mom I have been having nightly dreams about her. They seem so real. Most of the time I'm talking to her about her dying and trying to find understanding and meaning to it all. Other times I'm with her and my family members and we are celebrating holidays and birthdays. They are so real that when I wake up I'm disappointed.
Sometimes I want just one last day to say everything I was always afraid to say to her. Perhaps I'm doing that in my dreams. I'm almost finished reading a book of hers called "For One More Day" by Mitch Albom. Perhaps that's why I'm having all of these dreams.
Anyway the book is a great read. And if you like him, he wrote another book called "Tuesdays With Morrie" that is equally as wonderful.
Sometimes I want just one last day to say everything I was always afraid to say to her. Perhaps I'm doing that in my dreams. I'm almost finished reading a book of hers called "For One More Day" by Mitch Albom. Perhaps that's why I'm having all of these dreams.
Anyway the book is a great read. And if you like him, he wrote another book called "Tuesdays With Morrie" that is equally as wonderful.
Re: Does it ever go away?
They'll start becoming less frequent, but you'll still have them. It's still fresh in your mind and with everything you went through, it's not a surprise to me that you're having these dreams. I like to think it's how they like to communicate with us. She's letting you relive the good memories you have of her and letting you know it's ok. ((hugs))
In fact, I didn't have a dream about her for months and when I finally did, she was just "there", like I didn't really see her but there was a blur, an essence there that I knew was her. But we never spoke. And to this day we still haven't. I tell her all the time, it's okay...I can handle it now, just come and see me! But she doesn't, and I think it's because she knows that I will cry my eyes out when I realize it's just a dream.
My dad, on the other hand, I've had dreams about him. He died 7 months after my sister did, from Alzheimer's, and in my dreams he's always "Dad" as he used to be, not who he was when he died. And I don't ever cry or get sad over it, it's great to see him again because that person that I loved so much left us 5 years before his physical body passed away.
Anyway, yes I would say reading that book is causing you to have these dreams. Isn't it about losing one's mother? I think, as your heart gradually accepts that your mother is gone, the dreams will occur less frequently....
it never goes away completely but it becomes more bearable. i know it doesn't feel like it now, but the grief will dull a little more with each passing day, and you'll realize a whole week or month or whatever has gone by and you haven't missed her as much. it's kind of a double-edge sword, though. because you'll feel bad for not remembering as much. that's how i felt when my dad passed. but i still have dreams sometimes where i wake up crying, and it's been 9 years. you will get through this. stay strong. (((hugs)))
mom says thats what helped her cope with the fact that she wasnt around to do that stuff anymore.
sounds to me that it might be what you are going through... just getting more time with her...
Time will help.
My Dad passed away 9 years ago. Believe it or not, but this was the first year I could visit his grave. (he died January 11th and I went to visit then). I took him a picture of Ruby and Violet.
this is so weird, i just dreamt about my mom last night
it was horrid, i woke up almost crying. but it does lessen, i haven't had a dream about her in a long time.
Danica-
It's been five years this past Dec since my mom passed and as a whole it has gotten easier. I'll still have these moment (reading this) where I'll just cry and not completely know why, but just something will strike a nerve and I'll cry. I still have dreams every once in a while too.
When it first happened for the first six months I was numb. Nothing made sense. I know now I was in denial. Because I convinced myself that she had just "went away" and was out there somewhere and would return soon. I always had dreams that she came back and had never really died. I had one once that was so real I spent the entire next day on a cloud thinking she was still alive.
For me the turning point was meeting my husband. Some old friends looked me up and started insisting I come out with them, instead of staying wholed up in my apartment. I met him, we bonded and he helped me remember who I was.
There will come a point, something, someone will help pull you out of the haze you feel like you're trapped in and from that point on it's all about rebuilding. Putting the pieces back together. It will be a while, but know that it will happen.
Hang in there, and great big HUGE (((HUGS)))
thinking of you. if you need me let me kow and things will get easier with time.