Non-pg baby confession

jannypie

I think I'm hitting the stage where I feel like everyone in the planet is BOTB and I'm being left behind  I'm semi-joking but semi-serious too :-) My pg friends IRL do a great job of not being overwhelming of course. But so far I feel like I've gone step by step with my peers (not just RL friends but everyone)--- graduation, college, marriage, new jobs, new homes, new city, etc etc. Now I'm missing out on a huge thing in everyone's lives, just cause I'm not ready yet... I try and keep current with how everyone is feeling and progressing and all that, but sometimes it just isn't the same??? I'm so happy for everyone on the board here!! (I checked out the baby board today, can you tell?!) Its kinda like everyone up and went to the Superbowl and I stayed home.... I don't love football, but I'm missing the Superbowl!! LOL And more than that, I'm missing my friends at the Superbowl. Only this is one time when I can't just do it just for the experience, hah! Does anyone know what I mean?? I hope I'm not alone!

RhiannonF

I do!  I do! 

I feel the same way Jan!

Rett*s_bride

I do! Especially since I really want to TTC, but we decided to wait until we have a house next year. Seriously, everything you said - one big DITTO from me! (((hugs)))

&d&m&y

I feel sort of the same way, and actually, I read the baby board religiously as kind of a litmus test for myself. I don't want babies right now, if ever, but I feel like I really, really should want them right now, and that if I wait much longer, I'll be too old to start trying or something.

So you're not the only one by far!

JenOSU03

 I feel the same you do.  We are not ready and do not desire children right now.  We spent Christmas playing with our niece. I felt like I had nothing to contribute to the conversation because we just have a dog.

Many of my friends and peers are having babies too.

palmtreepatties

I say here's to you for knowing yourself and relationship well enough to know that its not time and not letting peer "pressure" - pressure isn't the right word - influence your life. 

Besides, when I'm utterly exhausted with a newborn in 6 months I'm sure I'll have a whole bunch of other things to say.

Temp536318000001135

Jan, I totally feel that way! I am not really sure that I ever want kids and I like my child-free life, but it's still hard not to think at times that with some close friends of mine starting to have babies, TTC and get PG, that I am falling behind or something.  I also think I'm just really afraid that I won't be able to relate to them, or them to me, anymore because our lives are diverging.

ASwank

My situation was a little different.  I am from a small town where everyone gets married between 19-21, buys houses because they are cheap and then has babies.  So some of my friends have kids that are 5+.  Anyway, I chose a completely different path and went to law school, etc.  Point being:  I remember feeling really overwhelmed when I was in grad school and all my friends had husbands, great jobs, houses and kids.  I felt like a huge disappointment.  Now, I'm really happy with my life.  At some point, it just switches.  I'm not sure when but eventually they get so far past you that it doesn't matter.  They'll still be your friends and things won't change that much.

triumphantreturnofplanningbug

What you wrote sounds so familiar!  I think for me the biggest thing that's helped is to remind myself that I *can't* compare my life to my friends' or I'll go nuts.  I got married young, don't want kids for at least another 2-3 years, and sometimes think I'll put a shoe through the eye of the next person who says "you're STILL in school?  When are you going to joing the real world?"  I think it helps that I'm generally so solitary, but I also find that when I'm feeling weird about not wanting the things that everyone around me seems to want, it helps to remember that I love my life the way it's going now, and children will change everything in ways I don't yet want.  That, and the idea that people are going to judge me like mad for my relatively unconventional ideas about pregnancy,
keep me as sane as I get.

And I love the football metaphor.

justEmily

Jan, I can completely relate! Although I feel totally behind in the game now, with starting over and all.

jannypie

whew, i'm glad i've got some company! i guess its just a result of the way our paths diverge in life. i hate feeling like i don't have anything to talk about now that i'm not pg. i try and relate, but then i realize how silly it is comparing my dog to a baby, so i shut up!! LOL! but i definitely dont want that feeling of pressure to cause me to think about being pg when we're both not ready yet. our time will come.

cassiehunt

Considering how you are feeling, you are doing a fantastic job of not giving in to peer pressure. And you know, maybe the holidays bring out a little more of that feeling because you are around families and Christmas is very family oriented. In a few years when you finally do make the decision to have a baby you will switch to feeling left out because you can't do all the things your childless friends are doing. LOL

Danica1

I'm right there with you.

MissyD1

Having started over again, I can relate....and it's ok! You are not alone...that's for sure! My best friend has a 3 year old. And here I always thought we would have our kiddies at the same time....But I realize now it is not a race to keep up And I love the metaphor too!