Same-Sex Households
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Heavy Question...
I'm exhausted today b/c i was up all night mulling over a question that the sw asked us yesterday in our interview - its something that never crossed my mind and we need to answer definitively to be marked in our file. We were both taken off guard and requested some time to think about it before answering, very unusual for our normally decisive selves....What's the question?
It was: Are you willing to foster/adopt an HIV+ child?
i told you it was heavy! So, I'd love to hear your thoughts. wwyd if you were us?
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
Re: Heavy Question...
I would lean towards yes, but would want to find out more about the financial commitment. I don't know how medications and treatments are handled in the foster care system - so I'd want to find out what kind of cost we'd be looking it at to see if we could afford the care the child needed. But that would probably be my main hesistation. That and I think I'd want to know that if the child required a lot of special care, that we'd be able to not take on any additional children while the child was with us. I'm answering for me - I have no idea what C would think.
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer
I would love to foster, and I care about children, but I wouldn't be able to foster an HIV+ /Aids child. The part that makes me leary is that you have to 100x more cautious with everything. I mean even the common cold, would be a concern, at least for me.
I also have a friend whose father has aids, and watching everything that family has been through also makes me standoffish, that and the medical care needed.
Believe it or not, it was REALLY hard for me to admit I wouldn't, I feel like Sh!t admitting it.
For Another Opinion.
I emailed the question to Julie. She replied "Yea, why not. I mean sure their are concerns, and things, but with the right answers and doctors, and a little more education on our part, I'd be more than willing. It's just something you'd need to learn a little more about, and then you do the best that you can. I'm sure the lady on your board is scared about it, but make sure you tell her, I think she'll be GREAT" -Julie
i
her.
Brit: No medical costs unless we adopt - all foster kid medical care is covered by the state 100%. And we always have the option of saying no to more kids, no matter what the reason.
Rikki: No need to feel bad! We're very much debating and the social worker told us that (not surprisingly) most people answer no to the question.
My biggest concern is the potential for contracting the disease, especially considering that there is a chance Andrea will be pg. So, i'm going to do some research this weekend to see what the risks are....
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
awww, thanks
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
This is why I said no. . .
Yes, I (we) would. We've talked about it. We have several close friends who either have HIV or AIDS. They play with our kids, have fed them, even changed their diapers. We all know the precautions to take and when to take them. The risk of transmiton with out sexual/breastfeeding contact is very very low.
Also, newborns who test positive at birth may seroconvert once their own bloodsupply/antigenes kick in and they aren't depended on their mother. So even though they test positive at birth, it is possible for them not to have the disease.
The concern for me wouldn't be so much the risk of contracting the disease, but the flexibility in my work to transporting to multiple medical appts (depending on the complexity of the child's needs these could be very few appts or could be weekly.) Sure child protection offers people to transport the child to appts, but in my experience in a clinic with lots of foster kids, the transporter comes in and knows NOTHING about the child, their medication, how they've done since their last appoinment, etc. And because of this, the child doesn't get optimal care - it is so important for the day-to-day provider be available to answer these questions.
I know in DC and Maryland that all foster kids get Medicaid - so there are no (or very little) out of pocket expenses. And in those two states (yes, I know DC isn't a state!) the child maintains Medicaid until they are 18 - even if they are adopted (they can have Medicaid and a private insurance through the adopted parent.)
Aren't you sorry you asked a medical social worker? :P
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer
i'm not sorry at all! the transporting is an excellent point that we'll need to consider...it was very clear that we will be expected to do all transport.
thanks for your thoughts!
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
We've talked about this before, too. I immediatly said yes, b/c I'm spontaneous like that, not really thinking things through. Katie said she wasn't sure if she could handle it. I asked her which part and she said "everything we would have to learn and what if they passed away". Once I reminded her that she's the smartest, strongest, most generous and loving person I know, she agreed
It's a huge decision, and nobody will judge you for whichever decision you make. For goodness sake, there are kids with and without HIV/AIDS who ALL deserve a loving home.
Well HIV/AIDS nonprofit work is my background. I have friends living with every stage of the disease and have lost friends to it. I would foster an HIV/AIDS positive child because I see it as no different than cancer (yes, I know...cancer isn't contagious). The risk of being infected by someone else (who you aren't having unprotected sex with) is sooooo soooo minimal. Proper first aid should be used when any child gets a cut or scrape so IMO an HIV+ child would be treated the same way as a child without the disease. Yes, the emotional factor might take a bigger toll on me but I'd be willing to bare that burden.
As for K....I think...and I could be wrong...that she couldn't do it. She's lost one too many friends to AIDS and I don't think she can put herself out there like that again. But I could be completely wrong.
We havent spoke about this subject, it never even crossed my mind, we have spoke about fostering or adopting children with downsyndrome and autism....hiv/aids will have to be our next *big* conversation.