How to say no? (Long)

karyn83 · March 2009

I'm on the Booster Club Board at work, and we're helping host the Easter Egg Hunt. I had originally volunteered to help hide the eggs, like I did last year, but apparently the other group helping us host it already had enough people for setting up.

Another girl on the board had volunteered her husband to dress up in our Scooby Doo costume (don't ask why we have Scooby Doo at an Easter event..I don't know), but they suddenly have "family activities" that came up and had to drop out. So everyone on the board knows that we need someone to volunteer to dress up...

Yesterday, one of the guys on the board emailed me directly, asking if my husband could do it. We're both still pretty awkward around children, not to mention shy in general; needless to say, neither of us would really feel comfortable doing it. Because I had already tried to volunteer to help set up, he knows I don't have plans (or didn't at the time). I don't want to lie to him, but I can't think of any response that doesn't sound completely selfish.

Anyways, the whole situation really upset me, because he put us on the spot like that, so I needed to vent. Anyone have any suggestions for how I could say no without causing problems?

karyn83 · March 2009

Oh, and I've already sent out a mass email to people in my department to see if anyone would be up to it or knew someone that would. No response, unfortunately.

lilcrablegs · March 2009

I don't think you have to have a reason. Just say you would love to help with setup or "behind the scenes" activities, but you/your husband won't be available to dress up. I would keep it simple... no reason to come up with a lame excuse when you can just say no!

wife2james · March 2009

I'm with Bethany. I would just be direct with him and say exactly what you said in your post, that you don't feel comfortable doing it. Surely he would understand. If not, then he might as well do it.

greeneyz7 · March 2009

lilcrablegs:
I don't think you have to have a reason. Just say you would love to help with setup or "behind the scenes" activities, but you/your husband won't be available to dress up. I would keep it simple... no reason to come up with a lame excuse when you can just say no!

greeneyz7 · March 2009

lilcrablegs:
I don't think you have to have a reason. Just say you would love to help with setup or "behind the scenes" activities, but you/your husband won't be available to dress up. I would keep it simple... no reason to come up with a lame excuse when you can just say no!

I have no idea why this thing posted when I hadn't even written anything.

I agree totally with the post above. You do not owe him a reason. Just say no. Helping behind the scenes is enough. For so many years I let people pressure me to take on things I really didn't want to and when I finally learned to just say no...wow, how liberating that one word can be.

karyn83 · March 2009

So I'm thinking the following...

"Neither of us would really feel comfortable dressing up, but like I mentioned in the meeting, we?re available to help with any behind-the-scenes activities we can. I?ve asked around to see if anyone would be willing to take over, but I haven?t found anyone.

Then again, is Scooby Doo really necessary? I think we have plenty of entertainment, as it is."

(As far as I know, there are already going to be male and female bunny costumes, a clown, and a magician)

karyn83 · March 2009

Oh, and thanks!!

I've only started noticing the past couple years that I've got some of that weird social awkwardness that seems to come with being a technical person. Sometimes I just need a little push in the right direction..haha

hlw082104 · March 2009

I agree- just say that you don't feel comfortable doing it and leave it at that. I work a lot with volunteers, and I have come to find out that it's so much better for all parties involved if when someone is asked to do something and they don't really want to or have time to it's best for them to say no. That's really helped me learned to say no when asked to volunteer for something that I don't feel I am suited for or have time to do.

stefjeff84 · March 2009

karyn83:

So I'm thinking the following...

"Neither of us would really feel comfortable dressing up, but like I mentioned in the meeting, we?re available to help with any behind-the-scenes activities we can. I?ve asked around to see if anyone would be willing to take over, but I haven?t found anyone.

Then again, is Scooby Doo really necessary? I think we have plenty of entertainment, as it is."

(As far as I know, there are already going to be male and female bunny costumes, a clown, and a magician)

I think that this response is very appropriate.