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need ideas, advice
Hi,
I know I don't post here often....ever...but I need a lil help here. T is really stressed out lately. Her ex is being a huge jerk, saying we're trying to "raise the kids gay" and threatening to not let her have them on her days. Well she is going to file for joint custody this week and is really stressing. She is the type of person to really go with the flow and usually will just compromise if he puts up a fuss just to avoid an argument. She knows this is just going to complicate things and make him really mad but that it is good in the long run.
Anyway, to get to my point, when she gets overwhelmed, she will just shut down and make it super hard to communicate. I am trying to get her to open up, but I think it is just pushing her away. I want to do something to show her that yeah I'm here to stay and I'm not going anywhere. I want to do something nice for her also, help her try and relax and de-stress. We don't have days off together or else I would take her on a day trip up to the mountains or something. Any help would be appreciated. TIA
Re: need ideas, advice
Well...instead of verbal support, perhaps you can just be a lil more physical. Meaning, give her some extra kisses. Touch her hand. Just tell her..look...I'm not going anywhere and if you want to talk or vent, I'm here. We will get thru this and in the long run it will be good for all of us to have it settled.
Maybe also send little love notes of encouragement in her lunch bag? Or leave them where she will find them?
I dunno...stuff like this is hard. I wish you both the best.
KnS
that's so hard, and those kinds of situations can put such stress on people. my wife isn't always the most communicative person, but i've found that if i just let her be and think on things for a while she'll come to me when she's ready.
do you get home from work before t does? run her a bath and have it ready when she gets home--then leave her alone in it with a good book and some candles. leave little notes hidden around the house: in her sock drawer, inside her lunchbox, on top of the stack of towels in your linen closet, on her computer keyboard. clean something that she usually does, or take over a chore of hers for a little while to give her one less thing to worry about.
i hope things get better, and good for her for standing up for herself, not compromising and not giving in to him on this one. what a strong woman, and what a difficult thing this must be.