Oregon Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Best Friends
How many of you have a "best friend"? I mean currently, someone who you can share everything with?
I haven't had one since high school and I look at my current friends/family and some have them but most don't. Everyone seems to be able to name someone if you ask them who their "best friend" is however in all honesty I find it hard to truly call someone your "best friend" if you haven't even spoken to them in a very long time much less seen them.
I often find myself thinking of how much I miss that kind of friendship and how I took it for granted when I was younger. I realize I'm not in high school anymore and my "best friend" isn't going to come over and borrow clothing and get ready for school with me and hang out doing homework every evening but I miss having someone that I can talk to about the most random stupid stuff that my not so close friends wouldn't really want to hear about. I miss having someone who I can be completely honest with and who won't judge me yet will still hold me accountable. A friend who I could complain endlessly about my husband too and who would hear me out and be sympathetic right before she gives me a quick verbal slap across the face for being such a selfish brat (which I can definitely be at times) and someone who will point out that my outfit looks like I had to travel back to 1995 to buy it and knows me well enough to know that I wouldn't take offense to that yet is sensitive enough to know that such a comment would have others in tears. Oh, and someone who will come over unannounced knowing that's the kind of person I am, I don't expect you to call before you show up so long as you don't mind finding me still in my PJ's at 4:00 in the afternoon or walking around in sweats and a sports bra because I "intend" to work out any minute.
I haven't had one since high school and I look at my current friends/family and some have them but most don't. Everyone seems to be able to name someone if you ask them who their "best friend" is however in all honesty I find it hard to truly call someone your "best friend" if you haven't even spoken to them in a very long time much less seen them.
I often find myself thinking of how much I miss that kind of friendship and how I took it for granted when I was younger. I realize I'm not in high school anymore and my "best friend" isn't going to come over and borrow clothing and get ready for school with me and hang out doing homework every evening but I miss having someone that I can talk to about the most random stupid stuff that my not so close friends wouldn't really want to hear about. I miss having someone who I can be completely honest with and who won't judge me yet will still hold me accountable. A friend who I could complain endlessly about my husband too and who would hear me out and be sympathetic right before she gives me a quick verbal slap across the face for being such a selfish brat (which I can definitely be at times) and someone who will point out that my outfit looks like I had to travel back to 1995 to buy it and knows me well enough to know that I wouldn't take offense to that yet is sensitive enough to know that such a comment would have others in tears. Oh, and someone who will come over unannounced knowing that's the kind of person I am, I don't expect you to call before you show up so long as you don't mind finding me still in my PJ's at 4:00 in the afternoon or walking around in sweats and a sports bra because I "intend" to work out any minute.
Re: Best Friends
I feel blessed in the fact in that I still do have a "best friend". She was my first college roommate and moved back to the Portland area right around the time that Dh and I got engaged. We sort of picked up right where we left off and have talked on the phone just about every day ever since.
She was the only one who went with me to everything wedding related (other than my mom) and has helped me through the ups and downs of life. We graduated college around the same time, she recently got married as well, so I think that it helps we have gone through the same "stages" of life at the same times. We love to call each other and complain about our dh's or mil's, she knows that no matter how much I am home or clean when she comes over my house will be a disaster and she is okay with that even though she is a complusive cleaner, etc.
We don't get together too often, we usually have one girls night happy hour a week with other girlfriends and ocassionaly on weekends we go wine tasting or out to eat with our dh's. But it is nice to feel you can call and say anything and talk about anything.
Are there friends that you can reconnect with or work on developing relationships with? If I didn't have my college friends I am not sure how I would go about making friends in adult life, it seems so much harder with busy schedules, etc.
All three of these girls I would tell anything to, I wouldn't mind if they saw my house a disaster and I would be there for when ever they need me. Granted, we don't talk daily or even weekly, but we're still great, great friends.
I'll admit, I am currently on the hunt for that one special person. Sounds like I'm looking for a husband LOL! I start a new Mommies group on Monday and I finally talked my husband into attending our churches Wednesday night group so that I can get to know some of the girls from church that live close by a little better. Its so weird having to actually try to make new friends. Perhaps I should just go back to school. That was the easiest place. And I met a few girls while working a contract position at Tuality Hospital that I stay in touch with. My only regret is that I have yet to find one person who I really connect with on every level. The not judging issue is the most difficult. Most of the girls I've recently met come from very very different backgrounds than me and are a bit sheltered in my opinion. i.e. I could never ever imagine a night out on the town and having a few too many cocktails with any of them. However I do have lots of friends to do that with, but I already know that none of them are exactly "best friend" material you know?
But at least we have each other...not sure what I would do if we didnt...
anyway, I think I have rambled on enough and it probably makes absolutely NO sense!! Thanks for reading if you still are....lol
I think the hardest thing to find in friends really is what you mentioned as lack of judgement and complete understanding of who you are, what you are about, and supporting you no matter where you're at - that is very difficult to find. But the world is full of great people, and by putting yourself out there you are really opening yourself up to all kinds of different relationships with folks you wouldn't ever find otherwise!
I also have to say that my sister is another "best friend" on an entirely different level. I love her to death and am glad we can share so much together. She will be here over spring break and she is going to be living with us this summer while she does an internship. I am really excited, because this is such a great time in her life and she will get to experience a lot here in Oregon this summer.
We also just moved here about 6 months ago and haven't really found a lot of people that we connect with. There are a couple of girls at work that I enjoy to be around, but there is not that connection like with my other friends. The people at DH's work keep asking him to hang out, but they are jerks and we don't want much to do with them. I don't think I'll find anything close to the connection I have with my girls from college though.