Mississippi Nesties
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Two weeks in, and I'm tired!
The only problem that my husband and I are having is that I'm so tired now left over from lose of sleep due to the wedding, and I'm ready to go to bed by 10:00. Usually, he will come to bed with me. Last night he decided to stay up, and I couldn't sleep. It just doesn't seem the same without him, I can't sleep unless he is in the bed with me. He didn't understand it, and we got into an arguement about it last night. Am I asking to much to want him to sleep in the bed with me?
Re: Two weeks in, and I'm tired!
DH and I are both students, so we have wacky schedules. Usually if I go to bed before him, he "tucks" me in. This involves laying on top of the covers and talking to me for a little while (something we do everynight before going to sleep) and then staying until I don't respond when he says my name.
Give this a try!
Your feelings are not silly, just to be expected.
DH and I did not live together either, and it took some getting used to. Just because you are in love and glowing newlyweds, does not mean that you are going to be able to automatically adjust to each other's schedules.
My advice, let him do what he needs to do... this is an adjustment for him too... you are letting your worry keep you awake.
Everything changed for me when I got married... I had to adjust to a new house, a new town (and a new state altogether, not having a job, a new last name.... not to mention living with a BOY...... (which brings its own set of things to get used to altogether, lol!).
We have been married almost 8 months and we go to bed together most of the time. But there are nights when I am working on a project or he just can't sleep and one of us goes to bed alone. It doesn't make us any "less" of newlyweds... just makes us the individual human beings that we are.
You will both get used to it.... don't worry!
Over the last few nights I've tried a few different approaches. Thursday night, I was really tired, and I thought, ok this will be a good time to try out a few different things. I stood up from my recliner, looked over at him, and said I'm going to bed. He told me good night. I want and laid down, a few minutes later I heard him say Baby where are you at? I replied, that I was in the bed, then he said, I'm coming to bed, too. So I guess that he can't sleep without me in the bed, also.
Just another suggestion for anyone dealing with Jess's problem for the beginning of the thread...
If he wants to stay up/ stay awake when you're ready to go to bed, explain to him that you have a hard time falling asleep without him near you or in bed with you and see if he will just "stay up" in bed. For instance, my husband likes to go to sleep earlier than me and I like to stay awake pretty late. He wants me in bed with him so I just get in bed with my laptop so that he can snuggle next to me and go to sleep, but I can stay awake. Other times I watch tv or read in bed, so that we're both "in bed" but I can stay up anyways.
Also, as I ready Jess's original comment about her being tired from lost sleep before the wedding...I thought that maybe he is not able to sleep now because he's worrying or thinking alot..like Jess was before the wedding. Now that the wedding is behind you, maybe he feels more responsibility and is staying up thinking, worrying, or even needing time to himself to deal with this increased feeling of responsibility and life change.