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Kind of worried about DD
So the scale has been in plain view in our bathroom recently because DH and I are trying to lose weight. Ava (who makes herself busy around our bedroom and bathroom as we get ready in the morning) stepped on it this morning and it read 22 lbs. The scale is digital and is accurate - she was standing square on it - and she was weairng her pjs. Next week, Ava will be 18 months old. At her 12 month appointment, she weighed 20lbs and at her 15 month appt. she weighed 21 lbs and the ped said we should keep an eye on what she's eating because she's in the 10th percentile. I'm going back for her 18 month appt and I'm afraid he's going to say that she's underweight. How is it possible that she's only gained 2lbs in 6 months? Does that seem right? Most of my friends' babies were around 23, 24, 25 lbs at 12 months!
She's a terrible eater - two bites of anything and she's done. I am close to tears feeding her dinner every night, she just does not like anything protein-related - she will only eat fruit and vegetables. It's just not enough to live on - I have tried feeding her EVERYTHING from edamame (for protein - and she hated it) to eggs to every kind of meat you can imagine. She's not taking the bait. This kid even hates pasta. I am at a loss.
This is hard to admit, but I have had weight issues my whole life. Here I am with a kid who doesn't like to eat. I am doing my best not to transfer all of my craziness around food to her - but it seems next to impossible.
So my questions are as opposite as they can be -
1. How do I get my kid to eat?
2. How do I keep my food issues to myself? Any personal experience here would be much appreciated. And, yes, I've had many, many years of therapy. . . and I'm still here with the food issues.
Just reread this and it sounds painfully neurotic. My apologies. I'm having one of those days.
Re: Kind of worried about DD
Unfortunatley I dont have any advice on the issue, but I just wanted to say hang in there! It will def. get better as she gets older. I was an awful child when it came to eating, I wouldnt eat anything either. I am still super picky to this day, but it has gotten better. Does she like apple sauce? I have heard alot of people will make there child some kind of meat and then dip it in the apple sauce and their DD or DS doesnt realize it. If she is eating the fruits, she may like that.
Angela,
I have no good advice because I haven't experienced feeding a big girl yet, but here are my thoughts:
As for the neuroses about food, I have them too and am concerned I will pass them on. I have done some reading on the subject, and here are some nuggets that I've picked up:
Keep in mind that being aware of an issue is half the battle - you are so focused on teaching DD healthy habits and not passing on your junk that I'm sure you won't!
This all falls under the easier said than done category, but sometimes I like to be reminded of this stuff. I hope it's remotely helpful.
First off, I wouldn't worry too much yet about her weight unless the doctor says something. DS is only 23 pounds at 2 years old (3rd percentile). He's very active and burns off a lot of what he eats. I was worried for a while but his growth curve is consistent, so it's just the way he is.
As for getting her to eat more, it sounds like you're doing all you can. Keep experimenting and maybe something will hit. DS is a picky eater too so I understand your frustration. Do you think the doctor will give the OK on peanut butter early? DS will eat peanut halves for protein (doesn't like the texture of peanut butter). You may want to ask the doctor about giving her Carnation Instant Breakfast shakes.
I don't have much to say on the food issues, but it sounds like you're aware of it and are making a conscious effort not to pass it down to Ava.
1) talk to you doc about it. And feed her PLENTY of whatever she will eat, ya know? Kids are funny, she will likely outgrow the pickiness... I was super picky as a kid and was so skinny as a baby (very low weight percentile) that the docs thought my mom wasnt feeding me at times. Sometimes kids just grown at their own pace, ya know?
2) food stuff... my mom has a history of eating disorders from pre-kids (not since, though she is very thin she eats plenty). She was VERY careful around us and as a result none of her 4 kids have struggled with eating disorders at all, a minor miracle
One thing is simple as it is: dont talk about it around her. Just dont. No "I feel fat" no "Im on a diet" no "I need to lose weight" no "I hate how I look" NONE of that. She is a sponge and will listen to what you say, even at such a yougn age. Never ever talk to HER about HER eating and weight - either direction no - "dont eat that it will make you fat" or no "You are too skinny you need to eat this" dont mention weight or size EVER to her, not at all. Instead focus on HEALTHY. "that isnt healthy ava, this is good for you, this will make you grow up big and strong, this is good for kids to make you smart and tall, etc" That worked for me. I cook VERY healthfully now as an adult and that is thanks to growing up with veggies at every meal, whole wheat everything, etc. She WILL pick it up from you - whether good or bad.
And when it comes down to it - changing your way of speaking around her will eventually affect the way YOU see food too - power of suggestion ya know?
Im suer it will be hard sine whatever food stuff you have going on is so engrained, but you are a good mom and if nothing will help, doing right by your daughter will so I am sure you can do it
I'm by no means an expert in developmental nutrition, but I seem to remember hearing or reading that this kind of pickiness in kids is pretty normal and not anything to worry too too much about. She should grow out of it and start to like more foods.
In the meantime, please don't try to coerce her into eating more than she wants to. I think a lot of parents are so worried about their kids not eating enough that they end up programming them to overeat, which causes problems later for them.
To address your own concerns about her protein intake, you should just keep trying different things, and try giving them to her multiple times. Eventually, you will hit on something she likes, or she will realize she likes something she's already rejected (It can take up to 20 exposures before a child will eat a new food).
Have you tried yogurt or pudding? What about cheese? Dairy products can be a great source of protein. A lot of breads and cereals have extra protein in them now, too. If you read and compare labels, you might be surprised what is a good source of protein!
Hugs!
If it makes you feel better. My daughter is 32" tall and weighs about 22-23 pounds with "pajama-jeans" on. My DH says that I tend to think she is eating less because she starts dinner before we sit down when in reality she is eating a bunch. Could this be happening at your house too? My doctor didn't seem concerned about her weight.
Mothering.com has an entire board on raising vegetarian children. I'm sure there are women on there who have struggled with this same issue. It might be worth posting to see what to add to her veggie-friendly diet to help her gain a bit. Yes, it is pretty crunchy over there, but very kind and helpful.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=366
Arianna was about those weights at those ages, too. And she was 31inches at 1 year.( she hasn't had her 3 year yet, but I'd say shes about 30-35lbs maybe? she's stepped on our scale but it's a dial one and our house is crooked so I'm not sure how accurate it is) and well over 3 feet tall, more like over 40inches tall.
Does she like mashed potatoes? Arianna refused to eat anything but fruits and veggies and mashed potatoes lol, so I would put meat in a food processor and mix it in with the potatoes. She caught on after awhile, BUT she started to eat meat after that on her own.
Hi Angela. I have to say, the first things that pop into my mind when I read your post are: 1) don't start worrying unless the doctor says there's cause for concern and 2) don't trust your scale. As a mom of a DD with weekly weight checks, it is very important that she's weighed on the same scale each time. Even if your scale is accurate, it's certainly not calibrated to her pedi's scale, so the readings will be different. We try to keep track of E.'s weight on our digital scale at home, and the difference between it and the one at her doctor's office is ridiculous. And the difference between the scales at her pedi and her GI specialist are different, too! You'll drive yourself nuts, believe me!
I definitely agree that you can't try to force-feed her...it'll only make the situation worse. You need to focus on letting her eat as much of whatever she wants and keep meal times enjoyable. So hard to do, I know! Also, if it does turn out that she has a problem gaining, there are a lot of things you can do to help her put on weight (many of which will be counter-productive to you and DH eating well, unfortunately). If she eats veggies, prepare them in butter and olive oil; you can add Carnation Instant breakfast to her milk; have her try avocados...fatty, but healthy. I've done a lot of reading on babies that don't gain weight, so feel free to be in touch if you have more questions.
But most importantly....don't get yourself all worked up yet, there's no reason to right now! Good luck! ((((HUGS))))
All of the PP's have great advice. One thing to keep in mind though on the weight gain is that Ava is much more active now then when she wasn't walking. As a result the weight gain ends up being less. Nate's weight gain has droped off significantly. He only gained a pound in the 6 months between his 18mth and 24th check up. I was concerned but the Dr. said it's b/c his activity level is so much great.
Is she more open to eating at school when the other kids are doing it? I know a friend's son who eats a lot more whenever he is around DS. Maybe try to pack a more protein rich lunch with she's get the peer pressure and eat it.
I'd tell you not to worry...but I know that's impossible. However...Anthony is almost 2 1/2 and at his last checkup a few months ago he was only 22 lbs. He is not on the charts for weight and the Dr's monitor him, but he is healthy, so they don't worry.
As for your questions...
1. I have learned at this age (and this comes from info from our pedi) that kids are very selective in what they eat. Don't short order cook for them or automatically give her something different b/c you know she'll eat it. What we have started doing is making dinner w/ meat, vegetable, starch....and we make sure to have 1 thing on the table we know he'll eat. We give him a little of everything and let him choose. If he only eats 2 bites of rice, that's all he eats. The Dr has assured me that over time they balance their choices out and really do get the nutrition they need - as long as YOU are providing the healthy choices. I have found since implementing this - he eats better, actually TRIES new foods, even if only to tell me "I don't want it" and our dinner time experience is much more enjoyable and relaxing.
2. I can't speak from personal experience...but from what I see of my friends w/ daughters I have to say the most damaging thing I see them do is to say "I look so fat in this" or things like that. Our friend has a daughter the same age as Anthony and just the other day she actually said "Mommy, I fat!!!" while pulling up her shirt. NOT CUTE at all in my book. So, try and think positive about yourself, don't let her see you get down on yourself for weight. Also, I wouldn't uses the word "bad" when you talk about food in regards to what you are eating yourself. If you say "Mommy was bad and had an ice cream" she's gonna start to pick up on that. It may not have too much of an impact now, but I truly believe that it will stick w/ kids and resurface in the teen years when they are most self conscious about their bodies.
Good Luck. I have the worst eater in the world...anyone on the board who knows Anthony personally will tell you this. I worry all the time- but try and tell myself as long as he is healthy it's OK if he's skinny, and as long as I am making the right choices for him as his parent, in the coming years he will learn to eat good.
I was going to say a few similar things to Kelfitz. ?I think she gave great tips and advice. ?I have no advice about getting her to eat but in regards to transferring your weight issues onto her, it sounds like you've done a lot of work on yourself and that is half the battle. ?I give you tons of credit for that. I would talk to your pedi and see what he/she says. She may just always be a thin person. ?Anyway it sounds like you are doing all the right things for your daughter. ?
I think many mothers fall into this boat.
?
Honestly, when I was a kid, I ate barely ANYTHING. It drove my parents crazy. ?I was just such a picky eater (I remember weighing just 75lbs in 8th grade). ?But then my eating habits got much better.
I agree- don't force your child to eat. ?Give her plenty of what she likes (it's great she likes fruits and veggies-- and right now it looks like it's what she wants/needs. If she was still hungry, she'd eat more.
?My oldest son only likes very specific foods (he's 3), and that's what we give him. ?Oh! And your pediatrician may also tell you that it could take 10-15 tries before a child tries a new food. ? I know.. I know.. LOL!!?
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As always, ladies, excellent advice. Excellent. I'm going to try to respond to some of the thought-provoking things you all raised.
First off, I need to calm down. She's healthy, she's happy - i am lucky she eats at all! I do have to fnd more creative ways to incorperate protein into her diet. She does drink milk, so that is a good thing. I will ask my ped about peanut butter - we do not have allergies in the family, so maybe that is an option. She's been walking since she's 10 months, so she has been active for a while - Ava was always 50% for weight up until her 1st bday - then it just dropped and continued dropping. . . 25% - and now 10%. I should have mentioned that - this is what gets me - and my ped - concerned. I don't (and can't) force her to eat - but you have to see when she has a good eating day - I do a jig after I put her to bed! Thanks for the advice on this front - I'm just going to keep trying.
And on the other - thank you, thank you, thank you for stating things that although I can recognize, and promised myself I would practice, i am not aware of them on a daily basis. Especially Kelfitz's list - all great points and things to remember moving forward. I'm going to print out all of your suggestions and read and reread them whenever I get anxious about all of this. Any book recommendations welcome. This is a lifelong learning process for me. . .
Thanks again!
Hey, I was going to suggest PB as well (if that's ok).
Will she eat tuna or any fish?
Also, a friend of mine was really picky and her Dr. told her mom to sneak some foods into cookies, etc. - and that worked. Lots of foods are more fortified now too, so you may not need to worry so much about it.
Good luck!
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I really wouldn't worry too much about it. Take it in context: as long as she is healthy, and meeting developmental milestones, I think she's probably doing just fine. Better a little on the skinny side than starting early w/ overweight issues.
Kids this age ARE picky. DD isn't a great eater at almost 15 months (glad I still BF!) either. She went from 18# 3 oz (I think) to only 19# 13 oz (again, I think) from 12 to 15 months. So she's even lighter than your DD!! But she's happy, healthy, smart, and developing on target.
((((hugs)))) try not to stress so much!