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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
? on baptisms...
I was baptized in the Catholic church, then after my parents got divorced, my mom switched us over to the Protestant church. But I really haven't been to church in the past 5-6 years and we got married by a JOP.
Even so, I feel like when we have kids I'll want them to be baptized. I have no good reason for wanting this other than because I was baptized. We aren't religious and don't plan to bring them to church...but I guess there is that little part of me that doesn't want something "bad" to happen to our kid even though we don't necessarily follow religious beliefs.
Any other non-religious types feel this way? Also, feel free to tell me I'm going to hell for this.
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Re: ? on baptisms...
I don't think you are going to hell for asking this question; however, the point of a baptism is to accept the child in the eye's of the church. It also goes without saying that you are planning to raise your child in the Catholic faith, and that the godparents are meant to be the facilitators of this.
My DH and I were both raised Catholic, going to parochial school and being married in the church. Our DS was baptized, but we have failed to be consistent in attending since we got married. DH has no issue with this, but I feel awful all the time for not going. And I have no excuse other than being exhausted and too lazy to get my butt ready to go most Sundays. I still want my DS to grow up in the church, and have the same experience I had growing up. Now if someone could just kick me in the arse and make me go.
Well if you don't mind it not being in the Catholic Church, the Protestants definitely have some sort of christening ceremony. But that's all I know, maybe there are some Protestant Nesties who are more familiar. I am more of an agnostic now and DH has never ever been to church, except for weddings.
I know what you mean though, when I have kids I feel like most of our friends will think its strange if we don't have a christening. I would like to have them christened because I am not a total non believer, but then I would kind of feel like a hypocrite, because we have no intentions of being regular church goers. Does that make sense?
I asked this awhile ago but I don't recall any answers. DH is a devoted Catholic goes to church every sat or sunday and on holidays, and those funeral cards for family members.... I'm Pagan. We were married by a JP in a park. My biggest question was the baptism and how it'd work.
DH would be the only one to attend church with the child, not me. I was told that even in our case, we would be able to do it in the church because of DH. (I'm only doing it for him btw)
I was baptized at 14 with my step-dad (My dad) in our Protestant Church. We were new members of the church and that was it. I don't think you'll have an issue in the Protestant Church.
I completely understand what you mean. I just wrote in my post about baptizing that I know close to nothing about my own religion. I consider myself Catholic, but I haven't been to church in years and I am not religious. We were married outside by a retired Episcopalean (sp?) reverend. I would've love to be married outside by a Catholic priest, but we couldn't find one who would do it.
But, I definitely want our future kids baptized. That why I asked if we can even do that considering we weren't married by a Catholic priest nor in a Catholic church. I would consider a vow renewal and/or a "marriage blessing" by a Catholic priest if that's what it took, and I'm also oddly drawn to having this done anyway...
This probably won't be a very popular answer, but I feel that if you do not have the intention of raising your child in a particular religion and practicing that religion, then you should just not baptize the child and maybe just let him find his own way with religion when he gets older and can make the decision for himself.
When you baptize a child (at least in a Catholic church), you take a vow before God to raise the child in the faith. If you have no intention of doing that or baptize your child only to appease parents or grandparents, it is, at best, an empty gesture and really meaningless at the end of the day.
I wouldn't go so far as to say I find it offensive that people do this, because I feel that God is the final judge of people's actions not me, but it does bother me deeply. To me, in many ways, it's a mockery of a gift that is so very special and sacred.
Flame away...
Nigoleta- No Flames here from me!!
I'm in that situation where my DH wants to baptize the child. I don't really care since that religion and I don't 'mix well' together. I found my own belief system by the time I was 17 and to this day I'm more Spiritual than anything.
I do wish I was able to allow my child to discover his/her own religion but guess not.. I'm easy going and if DH wants to baptize our child then so be it. DH knows he'll be the one taking the child to church and sunday school and so on and so forth. He'll be the one making the vow. Is that bad of me to say that?
I also agreed to reknew our vowes in the Church, but I won't convert.. his aunts are still trying to convert me. Aint happening! I do believe that we can still reknew our vows and I can still be whatever I want to be and have it not be "a sin" because we weren't married in church.
Argg, trying again - I just typed a nice, long, thoughtful post and the nest ate it! Here goes:
Nigoleta, no flames at all! I completely understand what you're saying and why you would feel that way. I get strange waves of guilt every now and then about not following my own Catholic roots into adulthood. But I guess I took my religious upbringing/education with a grain of salt. I believe that "my" God will not judge me for not going to church. Someone else's God may condemn me to hell for it. You know what I mean? I suppose my beliefs are that religion is personal - each person can take from it what they may and apply it to their own life. BUT I also completely understand why some people might see this as unacceptable and selfish - that only participating in "part" of a religion is wrong. Maybe that's what brings on the guilt for me.
About Baptism - I can't speak for others, but I would definitely follow through on the Baptism and raise my children Catholic if we do decide to Baptize. They would undergo the necessary religious ed, they would go through Holy Communion, they would be confirmed. I would go to church with them. I would not expect DH to, because he is not Catholic. After confirmation, I would leave it to them to decide how they want to continue. But I would definitely honor the vow of Baptism for the sake of my child and out of respect for the church. That's just me!