Connecticut Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Duff
Hey. I just read your reply to sugargirl about being a good mom, and I actually gasped out loud. I could have written exactly what you wrote, and for some reason, I feel completely validated. I feel like I am just now beginning to bond with Elizabeth, at almost 7 months. It has been a long road for us, and there have been times when I've broken down crying because I felt like an awful mom because I just didn't feel that "connected" to my daughter. It's so amazing to me to "hear" someone else say they felt the same way, and that I'm not the only one. Don't get me wrong, I love Elizabeth to death and have never, for one second, wished that we didn't have her. I just really have started to see her personality come out and she's this real little person now, and I look forward to seeing her after work now to see what new thing she'll be doing, and I love to hear about her day at daycare. As always, your words have made things clearer for me, and I just wanted to say thank you. Not that you have any free time, but you should seriously write a book or have a talk show or something because you are the MOST REAL MOM I have ever known. Thank you.
Re: Duff
Seriously, that is one of the nicest things you could say to me. I think it's important for moms to be honest with each other b/c I wonder if others struggle like I did.
Honestly, I think some of what was going on with me had to do with the fact that I wondered if she'd be healthy b/c of some in utero issues. And very luckily, she is super-healthy, but then she really didn't enjoy her infancy. I think I was so afraid of losing her or her suffering that I couldn't get in close until everything started going better. I can totally see why you would have had a similar experience with everything you and Elizabeth went through together.
I always say that I learned how to be a mom and she learned how to be a person at the same time. It wasn't pretty then, but it's a butterfly now.
Hugs to you. It's the best, but most challenging thing we'll ever do, IMO.
I think new moms put a lot of pressure on themselves to be the perfect mom or what they think other people want them to be. I know I did. That made it all the more frustrating when it didn't come to fruition and the experience wasn't what I expected. I will say that as hard as the experience was, I'm really grateful I went through it b/c it always makes people feel better when they're having a similar experience and I can tell them they're not crazy (unless I am, which is entirely possible).
You can still feel this way and think that everything your child does is a miracle. Same thing with needing some time away, too.