Update

summerwaldo

Hello all,

Awhile back I posted that my wife and I have separated.  Well less than a week later she emailed me (yes email) to tell me that she no longer wishes to continue our relationship, and wishes me the best in my future endeavors (not quite like that but very close, it was almost like a letter of termination).  I then found out a couple of days later that one of the reasons she's ended our marriage is that she has fallen in love with her coworker (after she swore to me there was no one else).  It's pretty insane too, I mean she works in HR at Microsoft and she's dating her coworker?  She's dumb.  (Can you tell I'm in the anger stage in my grief?) 

So I've found a place to live (in Capital Hill, the gay neighborhood in Seattle) and I'm moving on with my life.  I'm hurting in my heart, I've lost my wife, my dogs, my home and my finances are going to be very tight.  She's being pretty cold, which I don't think I really deserve.  I've never threatened her, I've never hit her, I've never crossed any lines but it's like she's throwing me out like yesterday's garbage. 

Now here's the pathetic part: I still love her so much.  I miss the sight of her, her touch, her smell, her voice, her smile, the way we laughed and played.  We had SO much good in our relationship; things were just hard and she says she lost herself, there's not enough room in our relationship for her, blah blah blah.  We were only married 5 months and we had such a beautiful wedding and we were so in love and everyone could see it...I honored her and respected her.  

I wish I hadn't spent so much time worrying about her and making sure she was happy instead of worrying about myself and my own future. Now I'm left her without an education, without a future and without someone who loves me.  I think about trying to date but my heart's too broken and how can I date when I'm still in love with the person who jilted me?  I love her and I hate her and then I love her again.  This is my daily process.....sorry to ramble, I just needed to throw my thoughts out in the open. 

One day at a time though. :-)

Two*True

I'm sorry you are going through this.  But, you are wrong about one thing, you do have a future.  I'm sure it's hard to see past today right now, but eventually things won't be so hard and you will see that your life still has many different paths you can take.

Never apologize for rambling...or venting...we'll be here to listen.

Duchess1

I am so very sorry. I can't imagine how hard this has been on you. Two*true is right, you do have a future. We are all here for you.

ctbride08

I'm so sorry for all the pain you're feeling right now - but the best advice i can give is to use all the pain, anger, saddness, and turn it into something so much more.  Albiet not the best of circumstances, this has given you the brilliant opportunity to become the person you want to be.  You have nothing holding you back from defining yourself and working towards whatever dreams you create. no strings, no one doubting you, no reason not to. 

best of luck, and stick around!

thiswillbe

Thanks for checking back in -- I was wondering how you were doing, but didn't want to pry. Sorry things are so difficult right now. I think it's natural to still have feelings, even after a person has hurt you. The other person has had lots of time to process their new feelings and draw themselves away, and you are just suddenly submerged in the situation.

I think it is wonderful that you are feeling able to move on with your life. A place to live is such a great start. Hopefully it will feel like turning over a new leaf. One day at a time is a great attitude to have!

Mrs._F

I'm so sorry to hear that things turned out this way.  I can't imagine how you are feeling.  But know that while it hurts now, it won't hurt forever.  You will get past this, and find your way to a new future, a new life.  We're here for you!

bluedaisyus

i agree with all the other posters.

big hugs to you. you will get through this.