I love you. I truly, truly do. And I'm very glad that 75% of the time you can dress yourself. But what possesses you to wear faded, thin, cheap 3-year-old polo shirts that look like they're for a 19-year-old along with pleated front chinos that are 2" too short for you? And why do you think you must wear clunky Sketchers as your dress shoes? You're already 6'1". You don't need those 2 extra inches! Sometime long ago someone must have told you that big shoes were hip. My darling, they're not. If you will trust me, we can find some very nice slim, sleek dress shoes under 10lbs each that do not, in your words "make your feet look gay." And for the love of all things holy, why do you belt your pants at your natural waist?? Urkel would think you're long-lost cousins! I love you my dear, but please, for both your sake and mine, lt me take you shopping.
Thank you.
Your loving wife
Re: Dear DH,