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If This Were Facebook
If I could update my status here it would say
Duchess1 just became a fan of silence and A.d.vil.
We love Little Miss C but my G-d, the poor thing has major issues. Undisclosed issues to boot. As if her bio-home wasn't bad enough her former foster mom just made things worse.
C has major tantrums, not just age related either, epic, glass shattering tantrums. She is a year behind in speech, frustrated that she can't speak and spent two months in a home where they spoke to her in another language. To deal with her tantrums they fed her all.day.long, whatever she wanted, as long as she stayed quiet. They put her to sleep with a sippy cup full of juice or chocolate milk and let her stay up to 10:00. SUPER.
It's so hard to undo all of this. It's exhausting and loud, really loud. I keep waiting for a neighbor to complain to call the police, no joke. It's bad but I am trying to hang in there and breathe.
We need for her to settle in before we can bring the baby home because she is still suffering the effects of drug exposure and needs a regulated environment. At this rate we won't get the baby until she is driving.
Tomorrow will be a better day, right?
Re: If This Were Facebook
yes. Tomorrow will be better. And the day after that yet better (although at times it might seem like you are going a step forward and two steps back, you ARE making progress and you ARE making a positive change.)
Consistency is going to be your savior in all of this - all though it won't seem like it in the short term.
Check out Signing Time videos. Both of my kids were slow talkers and though we had them in speech therapy, they also learned to sign. At the height of their signing, they knew 70-80 signs. It helped a lot with basic communication at first (milk, water, more, eat, etc.) It gave our non-verbal kids a way to communicate with us what they wanted/needed without getting frustrated. The videos are fun (even for adults) and my kids loved to watch them (the songs will get stuck in your head!) and they learned a lot. Even though my kids no longer have speech delays (and are talking in full paragraphs!) they still sign regularly.
I know you are probably working with social workers/pediatricians/etc - but my professional advice (I am a social worker who works with a lot of foster parents) is to do things incrementally. Don't take away the sippy of juice at bedtime all together, but slowly dilute it over the couse of a couple of weeks.) Same with bedtime. Start with 10 (or whenever) and then gradually push it back in 15 minute increments till you get to a point where she'll fall asleep within 15-20 minuts or so.
Good luck! Hang in there!
This:
and guess what- everything *is* better now that little C is on the right path!! I totally agree with PPs advice- small steps towards a schedule (and food, etc) that you're more comfortable with. I LOVE the signing idea- sounds perfect for this situation. For a secure attachment she needs consistency, to know she can count on you to comfort her, and for her to be listened to, so you're doing everything right! Keep popping that ibu.profen (not to be exceeded by 800 mg a day-lol)!
You are doing such an amazing thing for her. Hang in there, it will get better.
~Kennedy