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Thank you for your support and advice!
I am not sure what is going to happen. Dh and I have been talking about his steriod issue until we are blue in the face. We just got into a big fight about it and he left to do some errands. I feel terrible, frustrated, and sad.
He wants what he wants and he thinks I'm trying to control him. He doesn't see how it affects me. Counseling is out for him because he doesn't feel that it is a problem. He doesn't see what the big deal is and he claims he has done research and this particular one is low dosage therefore does not come with all of the side effects.
I may still go to counseling myself though. It bothers me that he doesn't seem to care about my feelings but he just seems to think that it doesn't have anything directly to do with me so I shouldn't worry about it.
Anyway, my real point here is that I really appreciate all the advice and insight that you all posted. I know there was a little debate but getting different viewpoints was very helpful to me. I appreciate everyone being so candid and I am so thankful for the support on this board. Thank you to everyone! If I have an update, I will let you know.
Re: Thank you for your support and advice!
I read this and had to go back to find your OP. I'm sorry you're going through this right now. I have to say, I hope I am never in your position. Would I want DH to do this, definately not. I see Kim's point though. I wouldn't automatically divorce over this. I know some said it would be a dealbreaker for them. I don't think it would be for me. Yes, it's illegal and I would be furious.
I think in low doses it probably isn't horrible, but then you never know what side effects are going to be personally until you take it. If he already was an aggressive person, I'd be worried.
I'd be more upset about the fact that you don't want him to and he's just going to do it anyway. It's like a child pouting because he can't get his way,and then purposefully rebelling and doing it. but then again, you aren't his Mom but you are his wife and that's supposed to mean something.
I really hope your DH will come around and understand where you're coming from and be willing to go to counseling. Tell him that you're not going to counseling because he's doing steroids, but because you have a disagreement about his doing steroids that is causing a serious rift between the two of you. Maybe if you stress that it's not that he needs counseling, but that you want an objective third party to help you reconcile your differences on the issue, he'd be more receptive. I know some men just don't ever want to go to counseling for anything (stubborn men think they can handle everything themselves), but it's worth a try.
Keep us updated. I will be thinking of you.
I wish that you didn't have to go through this. Since it seems like you DH has his mind made up, for the time being anyways, have you seen the research that he is referring to that says low doses aren't harmful. I would ask to see this. Then you'll know if there really is research, or if he's just calling it research but it's really just what he's heard from his buddies. If there really is research, it might help to put your mind at ease until the two of you are able to resolve this. I'm not condoning the behavior, I'm trying to help you get through it.
I truly hope that you are able to make him understand. (((hugs))))
I also had to go back & look for the OP, but this is what I've come away with:
One thing that no one touched upon is the fact that your husband is a role model for your sons. Now, I'm not sure how old they & if they are aware of what's going on. But would your DH want his boys doing illegal drugs? If they grow up with a father who's injecting himself with steroids, what kind of message is that sending them?? What if they find the steroids or the needles? In little hands, I'm pretty sure that steroids could be lethal.
Little eyes and ears pick up on a lot. Just as Angela's picky eater post the other day sparked some conversation about not talking about negative body image in front of her toddler, I'm sure your boys have/will pick up on your husband's unhappiness with his body and what he's choosing to do about it.
There are much healthier ways to go about what your husband is trying to accomplish. As a parent, it is his job to teach his sons the "right way" to live. Not falling victim to peer pressure, saying "No!" to drugs & taking care of their bodies in a healthy manner are all things that your boys should be learning from their father.
I hope that you & your husband can come to an understanding and that things work out for your family.
GL!