South Florida Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I think I may be getting some baby fever. Dang thing seems contagious!
Ok I know I have become infamous for not wanting to "drink the water", but with everyone gettign pregnant the baby fever is starting to hit. I don't know if it's my "biological" clock ticking or what, but recently I've been ok with the thought of having a baby. This blows all rational out of the water. I'm not ready in any way to be a parent, but I can't help it... I want a baby. Someone pleeeease knock some sense into me!!! lol I need to get back into not wanting to drink fertiliity water again. I talked to dh and even he's not helping. He's even started looking up baby names, geeze for the mother of god throw me a bone.. rofl
ok just wanted to share :-)
Re: I think I may be getting some baby fever. Dang thing seems contagious!
Thanks, that's exactly the push I needed..right off the cliff. lmao
I kid, but yeah you're probably right. We've been together for about 8 years and married for 4 years. When we tell people how long we've been together, and, that we don't have children, people look at us weird. It doesn't help when I tell them I'm 27. All of a sudden everyone seems to know the statistics about how your "supposed" to have your first kid before 30 yadyyadyyada. lol oh well
Make a pregnancy ticker
There's a club...oh no! running away as fast as possible lmao I only kid.
Everythign seems to happen in stages. When you're young, it's who get's to shave/wear makeup first, then get a boyfriend, then get engaged, then married, then pregant. It seems to all happen in waves. When it starts with one person it usually continues with others. I wonder why? hhhm??
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I really think that when you're ready, you're ready. You'll just know. There are a million and one reasons in the book to not have kids. If you constantly remind yourselves of those reasons and always have them in the back of your mind, then of course you are never going to want to try. But once you are able to look past those things and focus more on the joys of being a parent and how that outweighs all those other factors, then you'll be ready!
I don't think anyone is ever completely without doubts. Or actually, I think the only people who are ever 110% sure are couples who have been trying for a long time. Those are the people who truly want it more than anyone else and who are going to really appreciate and love their pregnancies and babies from Day 1. But I think for everyone else, there are always going to be those "WTF am I getting myself into?" moments, whether it's in the process of trying to get pregnant, or once you get pregnant, or even once you give birth and the months that follow that. If everyone waited until they were completely ready and had no doubts in their minds whatsoever about becoming parents, I think 95% of couples wouldn't have kids!
Is there anything specific that has held you guys back so far, or is it just a more general sense of not feeling ready to have a baby?
Yes, you are absolutely correct. You can never really, truly be 100% ready to have a kid. I guess I would be mentally ready, and responsible enough too. I think the one thing that is holding us back is the fact that we haven't finished school yet. If that was at least done, then I wouldn't worry about it so much. I'm just freaked out that if I get pregnant then I'll never finish. That and dh will be starting lawschool soon. It's all about timing. In an ideal world both him and I would be out of school and settled in a secure job. but hey if things happen that they dont' fall into my "ideal" plan then it wouldn't be too bad either, and I know there would be a way to work it out too.
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DO IT!!!! lol
(ditto everything jenn said, btw)
but I'm still going to push you straight off the cliff into my world
be a baby making machine!! lol
Lmao at "baby making machine", thanks Jen! lol Well I'm not going to be trying to have a baby, but if I end up pregnant then that's a completley different story. I'll leave it up to fertility Gods, and what will be will be. lol
I'm sure Abby wouldn't mind a little playdate partner. How cute would it be having all our babies together. We would be like that tostitos commercial. All the nesties gathered together while the babys are in the rocker....See have to stop having fun thoughts like that. lol
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HA HA HA!
Just so you know, from PERSONAL experience, this train of thought sometimes ends up in pregnancy pretty quickly lol.
School is really important, and that was the main reason we didn't start trying right away when we got married. We both would have loved a baby from the start, but I was adamant about finishing law school and taking the bar. I made it just in time as I will be taking the bar during my 2nd trimester. In a way it was good because it forced us to slow down and enjoy our first year and a half of marriage together just the two of us before jumping in to having a baby right away. It wasn't a huge sacrifice for me to wait that extra time and be done with school. Now if DH and I had been together longer, or if I had started law school later in life and had more time left before finishing, then it may have been a different story.
But seriously, just sit down and think about your goals and how having a baby would factor in to finishing school. Talk to women in your line of education and see what they think. Are any women in your classes pregnant or moms? Ask them what their experience was like. As far as your DH going to law school, law school is obviously very time consuming and taxing, but for obvious reasons, I think it's a lot less challenging if it's the father of an infant trying to complete law school versus the mother. I think he can still find plenty of time to be a supportive and involved dad...no different from any other father who works full time (except during finals weeks lol).
Anyway, it's obviously a huge decision and you shouldn't just jump into it blindly, but I also think it's easy to overthink it too much. There comes a point where you just have to follow your gut and not overanalyze every single aspect of your life. Remember that there are women in ten times worst situations than yours who get pregnant every single day and they make it work. At least you are married, have a supportive husband, a roof over your head, etc. Whenever that Baby Aphrodite decides to come along, you will be ready!
I must admit. There are days when I think "HOW are we going to do this?" and then I think about my parents who were 22 and 25 who had only been married for 5 months or so when I came along. They were broke, but determined to make things better. They made do. And I guess the whole ideas of babies wasn't crazy to them because they eventually had 2 more.
I think that we can all get really overwhelmed by thinking about the what ifs and the "how will we do it" but married couples (and single women) have been doing it for years.
In our case, we received the news a bit sooner than expected. And I'm ok with that. I won't be upset that we didn't get to explore Europe together and blow tons of money on lavish cars and gifts. I'm happy to buckle down, start budgeting for our little one and I think that when the baby arrives, it'll all work out. All my worries of working, money, being away from my family....it'll all be fine. It won't be perfect....but it'll be ok.
So....perhaps have a kickass summer...drink margaritas and sleep in til noon, plan a fabulous trip. And if in a few months baby fever is still there....GO FOR IT!
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DITTO DITTO DITTO! to everything here