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In-law Invasion
My lovely, but somewhat boring inlaws are coming to visit this week and I can't seem to stop worrying about it. E's graduation is this Saturday. My elderly MIL and step-FIL just decided this past Saturday that they're going to fly here for the graduation. They'll be staying at our place for 6 days, the longest period of time we've ever spent with them and they're first trip to visit us. On one hand, we haven't seen them since the wedding and I'm really glad they're coming to support all of E's hard work. They're really sweet, actually much nicer than my parents, to be honest. But I'm really nervous about this visit.
We live in a small apartment, so that means a lot of together time in close quarters. We have several beautiful nudes up in our bedroom (where they'll be sleeping) that E took down in preparation for the trip. I completely understand why, but it still makes me sad to feel like we're degayifying our life in any way. They also have very strict dietary limitations and preferences that I can't seem to stop stressing about trying to meet. They're very religious, and won't be able to do anything outside the home (or watch TV)from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. We already had plans scheduled Friday night and Saturday afternoon and neither of us can decide how to handle that. Should we cancel our plans? How much together-time will they want? How much activity planning should we do? Will they feel hurt if we leave them alone? How on earth will we entertain them? When will I find time to do all this cooking? How can I make sure E gets some alone time with her Mom? These are the questions running through my head.
Re: In-law Invasion
Berries, I so feel your pain. My in-laws stayed with us just once, but it was a surprise visit (and they live a thousand miles away, so it was a REAL surprise!). Like yours, they are nice people, but somewhat high maintenance, including dietary needs. Trying to answer a few specific questions based on my experience with them and other houseguests:
They also have very strict dietary limitations and preferences that?I can't seem to stop stressing about trying to meet.
- For this, all you can do is educate yourself (with E's help) and have the right stuff in the house. Most people who have strict dietary habits are pretty used to fending for themselves, accomodating others, going without, etc. and for that reason any effort on your part to accomodate them will probably be met with tons of appreciation! Jen can only eat small amounts of wheat and dairy (which I understand is different from religious obligations, but just as an example), and she is always SO grateful to my mom because my mom always buys the right things to have in the house when she's coming to visit - it means a lot that somebody remembers her needs. ?
They're very religious, and won't be able to do anything outside the home (or watch TV)from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. We already had?plans scheduled Friday night and Saturday afternoon and?neither of us can decide how to handle that. Should we cancel our plans?
- I would have E talk to them about this. They will probably be fine with you doing your own thing, especially since it is a special time for E and they are staying for quite some time. It's not like you have to fit everything into one or two days. And if either of you feel badly about it, maybe just cancel one of the plans but not the other. ?
How much together-time will they want? How much activity planning should we do??
- I try to have a list of suggested things to do on hand, but not actually schedule anything. That way depending on how people are feeling, I can suggest baking cookies/playing games/going to the park, or whatever seems appropriate by mood. If I haven't thought of things in advance I tend to get frantic and think that everyone will be bored if I don't invite the Rockettes over for a personal show in the living room or something equally outrageous, when really, people are cool playing Scrabble and drinking tea
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Will they feel hurt if we leave them alone? How on earth will we entertain them? When will I find time to do all this cooking? How can I make sure E gets some alone time with her Mom??
- Those are all questions that E is more equipped to answer than you. I know you want to take care of her and make this week great for her, but ultimately we are responsible for our own families. She knows them and together you guys will be fine. And after they leave, you will have a whole new appreciation for alone time!
Good luck! 
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Thank you for the fantastic (and calming) advice! I can't believe you actually answered the worries that have been bouncing around in my head. I'm definitely feeling much better about the visit (no longer PMS-ing might be helping as well!). We had a chat with them and it turns out they've moderated their diet a bit (they're now eating some forms of dairy) and are willing to try food outside their culture for meals out. So I've got menus and the grad party all planned, and I'm staying home today to clean the house.
Thanks for the well-wishes. Prior to this, I've been fairly insulated from the stress inlaws can put on a relationship. I think we'll both probably learn even more about each other through this visit.