AHHHHHHHHHH.....I just need to vent (very long)

zeesbride

feel free to ignore.

So d*ckhead BIL and I got into it  a few days ago. He used a racial slur that I find completly abhorrent ( well, not as if I find any less abhorrent) and when I called him out he spoke down to me. In my book, dead to me. I dont care who you are but you do not speak down to me...especially in my own house. MH backs me up 100% and asks him to apologize. So, we dont speak. I ignore him, he goes out of his way to be out of my way.

Today, he tries to do the blanket " okay whatever I did I am sorry, I dont want to have an issue with you" apology. I told him to stop right there I had some things to say. I then, calmly tried to say my peace about why I was upset and he opened up his yap and tried defending himself " I was tired...blah blah blah" and I ended it with..."you know what, if you dont know how to speak to me, dont. Any correspondence can go through your brother." I sat back down at my computer and he yelled to his gf and they left.

After thinking it over and talking to MH I decided that perhaps I could have been a bit more calm and just squashed it. DBIL does NOT apologize to people and perhaps that was a big step. So I txt him this " dont like the way the last convo ended, perhaps I was a bit harsh. When you get a chance I'd like to talk so we can put this behind us" I figured this would be neutral and sincire. He calls his brother and tells him " to tell me that its cool its done" and that MH shouldnt worry about it.

Now I am re-pissed that he cant even settle this like a d*amn adult and actually have a constructive convo about this because it really did bother and hurt me. I need to calm down cuz I have a doctors appt soon and I dont want to be all crazy pissed!

I am so frustrated... and to make it worse, he did not get his visa so he may not be leaving tomorrow. sooooo over the IL's right now.

 

casncort

I'd be pissed too especially b/c of the racial slur. But it sounds like this is the type of person he is (not an excuse though). I would just try to ignore it at this point b/c you can't get worked up for yourself and the baby! I'm praying he gets his visa quick and is out of your house!!! I would be done with ILs too if I were you! (((hugs)))

zeesbride

ugh, after re-reading this perhaps I should not be so angry at his retort....maybe he thought he was just following directions. ugh, still done.

 

thanks for the hugs, cort! 

JD 2 B

:'( Feel better Zee!

themarshmalo

That really stinks. I learned long ago there are plenty of people that are not logical, and it often makes no sense to argue with or counter them. In most cases, I don't have these people in my life. He's your BIL so it makes it tougher. Hopefully he knows where you stand now and will try to avoid a repeat incident!

NorCalMrs.

I'm sorry S.  I hope you can get things resolved with DBIL.  Hang in there!

MrsBrock2B

You poor thing! Hopefully he is gone soon.

5dogs

Oh S! Hugs to you, you're still a saint.... they'll be gone soon enough!

Serendipitie

I'm sorry you have to deal with this - ((HUGS))

Wan-naBe

there is no way that these people would continue to stay in my house. ?i will not be disrespected in my own damn home, and since you can't be a grown-up about it, you can get the_fuck_out.

period.?

zeesbride

Thanks ladies! Yesterday was a really long/hard one....but they are loading the car and on the way to the airport. Apparently DBIL is determined to get on a plane to Dubai today wether he has to take a direct flight and have his ticket go to waste....right on! So, we'll see

The only good that came out of this is that  me and Zee were able to have some VERY insightful conversations and that is always a good thing! 

mrsmj2008

Sorry you had to go through that, I could not deal with getting disrespected in my own house either especially after all that youve done for them...but I'm glad something good came of it for you and H.