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Life in slo-mo...ever feel like this?
I'm gonna get a little intellectual for a moment.
Anyone else ever feel like you life is moving too slowly? Like you are aspiring to so many things that feel so far out of your reach?
I have that right now. It feels like everything we want is tied to something else that is tied to waiting, whether we want to or not.
For example, we'd love to buy a house before the end of the year. In the Fall if possible. But we're trying to be smart - paying off debt and waiting for DH's new contract to go through. It seems so far away. I want to get a new job with a better salary and better maternity leave, but it's not smart to leave my job right before we go to lenders.
We want to TTC in a year or so, but before that, we want to be in a home for at least 6 months. We want to travel a little before we TTC, but how can we spend money on travel if we're saving for a home?
I think it's mostly the tug-of-war game in my head of "want" vs. "realistic." I want a house, but it's not realistic until we get our debt down, credit up, and a little more in savings. I want to have a baby, but realistically, we just can't until we're financially stable in a new home.
Just curious if anyone else went through frustrating stages like this, and how you made it better?
Re: Life in slo-mo...ever feel like this?
I feel like that all the time. We are also trying to save up for a house and it is very frustrating. I feel like whenever we are getting our debt down and a good chunk of money in savings, something unexpected happens and then we have to dip into our savings and we are back at square 1. We also want to TTC sometime in the near future because my family has a history of miscarriage so we want to prepare ourselves time wise.
The condo that we live in doesn't help because the condo fee keeps being increased so we feel like we can never save money because it keeps going into the condo! We are actually planning on selling and moving in with my parents for a little while so we can get a good chunk of savings and make ourselves a little more finacially stable.
Life is hard sometimes! If you find a way to get through this stage of life, please let me know!
It's funny, I just came across a quote in a email I read last. It said many people miss the silver lining because they're looking for the gold.
This post made me reminded me of the message because Yes, I have definately felt that way and felt the confusion and frustration that goes with it. Keep your hope and recognize the silver while you work on your gold. If you don't enjoy the "in between, meantime"... you might be discouraged with the gold really arrives and the excitement is shortlived. (for example) I thought my life might shift dramatically when reaching a specific point and yes it did shift, but was not as dramatic as I would have thought.
Amie, I am definitely with you on that one. DH and I had a long talk about that yesterday. I feel like we are doing so much "waiting"...I can't really get another job until I finish my master's in 1.5 years. We can't buy a house until I get my master's, because we will probably relocate at that time (and we currently have too much loan debt). We can't TTC until we have a house. It's like a constant waiting game.
We both know we just have to be patient and try to "mix things up" once in a while, usually by traveling and other fun stuff like that. But it's so hard when you see something you want on the horizon!! Especially if you are impatient like me.
Amie - from what I've read and from talking to our mortgage broker, changing jobs would not hurt you - it would help you actually if you made more money, espeically if you're in the same industry. They just want to see steady employment, that's all. So don't let that hold you back!
I feel you though, we are house hunting now, and everything in this area is just so expensive. We really want a house but anything under $450k is just a "handyman's dream", sold "as is", "needs work" etc if its not in the ghetto, and we don't have the money to buy a house at that price AND renovate. DH and I were in such a funk last night after a particularly frustrating house hunting experience. I feel like we are saving a good chunk of our earnings (about a third!) but it doesn't really help us increase our price range at all. We're leaning more towards a townhouse more and more, though DH really wants a house. Ugh.
I'm with all of you guys on this too, but we ARE moving forward even though I am terrified. For us, anyways, our situation isn't going to get better. DH and I are 30, so we don't want to put off TTC.
Buying a house is what scares me the most. I would love to wait and have time to save more, but by that point, prices and interest rates will be back up and that will just cancel out our extra savings. So, we are going to lower our first-house expectations. Luckily we don't live down by NYC, like Dukes, and we can still get a decent house this way. We'll have to settle on lot size the most, but I'd rather get into a house with a smaller yard than continue to rent.
I kind of feel like there will never be a good time to have a baby or buy a house. So, we are jumping right in and we will make it work. It'll be easier to cut back our spending when we are forced to.
Ahh thanks ladies - so good to know there are so many relatable situations out there! It's really just a "stuck" feeling, if I can describe it...like being in quicksand. But not so doom-and-gloomy. Because I do know and realize that while it can feel SO frustrating at times to be stuck here, it's the right thing for us, and it's ok for now. We'll get where we're going eventually, just as all of you will.
ilovescott - thanks for the pep-talk! You're so right and I completely agree. It's always good to enjoy the time you have while you have it, even if it seems a little frustrating at the moment. Life is short, life is a journey, all that jazz. I'm normally a glass-half-full girl, I just have to remind myself of that sometimes.
Dukes - thanks for the job advice! I read somewhere that lenders like to see that you have held a job for 2 years, which I have, so I feel like I should stay. But duh, making more money would probably be a good thing. Also, I know exactly how you feel about house-hunting - we're in the same boat in Westchester. Anything priced under 500k is either in need of some serious TLC, which we don't want to deal with in our first home, or WAY too far from NYC. We both commute every day and I just can't see us going too much further away...I'm already at an hour door-to-door. It's so hard, and it makes me so mad sometimes. Not everyone working in the city is a doctor or a lawyer; there's a working class, too, and we need a place to live affordably. If only the home prices would drop around here like they have in other places...let's keep our fingers crossed!
I relate entirely to what you are saying. We have decided to relocate but are waiting for our house to sell, and some days the waiting is painful!!
Something that helps me is remembering or rewatching the movie "Click" with Adam Sandler where he is constantly fast forwarding his life. Another thing that has helped is that I have started reading 'The Power of Now"by Eckhardt Tolle all about the importance and joy of living in the moment. HTH!
6/14/10 BFP; 6/30/10 Dx ectopic
11/16/10 BFP #2; DD born 7/26/11