Same-Sex Households
Two*True
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Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday
Have at it ladies....any thoughts on QOTD??
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Re: PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday
I have scheduled our consultation with the midwives who will be doing our IUIs. We're going on June 12!
I'm on CD8 of my first cycle tracking. I'm temping in the mornings, and will start OPKs in the next day or 2.
C and I are both starting to look more seriously at donors. I've got a spreadsheet of all the donors at several banks that have what we are looking for - red hair, ID release, height (Cecilia is pretty set on a tall donor - her family grows big guys!), and ethnic background similar to C's (that part is easy, becuase most redheads have similar backgrounds - Irish/Scottish, etc). This narrows us down to less than 10 donors nationwide, so it should come down to a relatively easy decision, which I like. Because honestly, I'd be tempted to just pick one out of a hat!
Which makes me think of an idea for QOTD:
What are your thoughts on premium/doctorate/expensive sperm?
I ask because there's one bank that has a redheaded doctor, who is a dad and from his essay and audio clip seems terrific. I like him. Like, I feel like we could hang out with him, and some of the things that he talks about in essay/interview remind me of C. Plus, the staff describes him as "very attractive"
and he fits our other req's. BUT... Because he's a doctor, the price is jacked up - his sperm is over $600 a vial. Now, I really don't care that he's a doctor, but I have a good feeling about him. Though I find it hard to reconcile spending over $600 a vial, when the midwest sperm bank only charges $200, you know? But of course we are paying to conceive our child, and you can't put a price on that. Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Wisdom?
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer
I already blabbed, but our first IUI is tomorrow morning and i'm very excited (though hesitant). I'm just trying to decide if i want to push the plunger - its so nervewracking! what if i mess it up? but what if i regret not doing it and its my only opportunity? geeez, i cant believe i'm even thinking about this, lol.
QOTD: Well, as we talked about via blog, Andrea and I were unusually relaxed about our donor selection. Once I found midwest (and their price), it was pretty much a no brainer that we'd give them a try. I couldn't imagine paying extra for "doctoral sperm" but, to each thier own.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
do it! seriously! i did. it is a very cool experience, and you won't mess it up. trust me. the doc/midwife will be there the whole time to make sure everything is good--although i must admit my hands were shaking the first time! :-D
If you can push the plunger, do it. I never had the option and I wish I would have insisted.
We used several donors and some were doctorate, though that is not why we chose them. If we felt a connection and liked what we saw we went for it. We didn't care about ID release or PhD's etc. For us the audio interviews made a difference, I am not sure why but they weeded out a lot of choices.
Well, its not over until my period shows... but I just tested this morning (13dpo... i think, wonky cycle) and it was definitely a BFN, so it appears this is not our month. Stinks, but I'm okay with it since I really didn't think we had much of a chance this month since my cycle was all weird.
Hopefully next month will be more normal and we can get our timing better.
On a positive note, my friend's bachelorette party is this Friday, so at least I can eat sushi and drink wine!
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
Bloggity Blog - You know you want to...
It was not important at all to us. We both felt that we knew people who had their JD/MD/PhD and were no smarter than the average person - they just took a different path in life based on the profession they wanted to pursue (or the lure of $$$.) And we know many people who never went to college (because of desire, familial circumstance, finances, etc) and are extraordinarily intelligent and most certainly could have gone to law/medical school. Plus, I didn't limited my selection of a life partner based on their education/employment - nor would I have if they could have actually gotten me pregnant!
But like CTBride, we didn't put a lot of stress into finding the perfect donor. We didn't have much choice since we went with Fairfax Cryobank to save on shipping (we actually picked it up when we did ICIs and only paid $50 courrier fee when we went to the RE.) We wanted a blond haired/blue eyes donor so that limited us to 2-3 per month - and even less when we considered medical history. And we changed often (4 donors in 9 tries.)
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer
Had a check up Monday and all is well. Which is good since I was nervous ever since my light bulb experience! I am gaining weight slowly (only 3 total pounds so far) but I figure I was over weight to begin with and since I was so sick my first tri that if I didn't loose any weight then I am fine. I think it will pick up some time soon. The baby has been very active this week and S got to feel some good kicks last night.
As for the "special" donors I feel it is just another way to take my money. Our bank did not offer a special group of smarties so it wasn't an issue. If I felt a real connection with one then I wouldn't rule them out but we would have had to see if we could have done it financially. As it was the sperm was really pricey. I also think that if it is important to a couple then go for it.
On the plunger topic S chose not to. She was too nervous. I didn't care one way or another. If S wanted to she could but if not is was no big deal either way.
Update - I started prometrium last night. Even though my progesterone levels are great and my lining perfect the RE does this as a precaution. Low progesterone is one of the leading causes of m/c so this is just to help prevent that should the little sperm and egg have actually met. Anyway...it's not a pretty drug (leakage) but I feel really good being able to do something. The 2ww is moving so incredibly slowly so just knowing that I can take a med to help have a healthy pregnancy makes me happy.
QOTD - K didn't want "top shelf sperm" as she called it (Ph.D, MD, etc) In her mind those guys were only donating to satisfy some large ego. Of course this was half in jest. If we had found the perfect donor and he happened to be a PhD then we might have paid more. But a couple hundred $$ more - I don't know. In the end we only had about 7 donors to choose from and the final choice was very quick and not money related at all (or second choice was on 'sale' but that didn't sway our vote).
here's my thought on this....based on our beliefs and feelings around picking a donor (we're not picking a father, just looking for someone healthy and can produce children), we felt it was financially responsible to go for the least expensive bank. Since our funds are not unlimited, I'd rather keep that money in my pocket to spend on the child - not the sperm. Of course if we had different feelings about picking a donor and genetic contribution, I could see where we'd be willing to spend more for sperm that better matched the qualities we were looking for.
Basically, to us sperm is sperm (as long as its healthy) so why spend more?
Thats not to say, though, that i dont understand why others would go with the more expensive banks if thier beliefs differed from ours.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
We have an appt with a possible RE on Saturday... I found out we qualify for a 15% discount from this doctor because of our income level.
I've decided to look into more sperm banks to see if I can find more affordable vials... CCB is great and has a lot of donors but as someone (sorry I don't remember who) stated above, we don't need the most expensive sperm. We don't need a doctor or a lawyers sperm, we just want someone that is healthy and has good sperm.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
If you're comfortable with it than do it! I'm really glad K did because it gave her something that was her part. She told the boys at work and they all thought it was 'cool' - lol! If she hadn't it wouldn't have been a big deal but for me (and this is just my opinion) it made the procedure less clinical. And you won't mess anything up - the nurse will be there to make sure everything happens just as planned :-)
Our update is that try #3 is tonight and tomorrow. We had a doctor visit Monday that answered some questions and during which the doc reassured us we could get in for a blood pregnancy test as soon as we wanted to, instead of waiting for a home positive. That helps a lot because we spent so much time worrying and waiting and talking to unhelpful nurses who would not let us in until we got a home poz. Anyway, we feel pretty good about try 3....the swimmers are at home....chillin...literally. We painted the to-be nursery and are trying to create a good environment of positive vibes for a new baby.
On the QOTD - ctbride we are using midwest too and felt like we liked their "bare bones" approach. We also lean toward less interaction with donors, not posting baby (baby made from donor, not donor himself) pics, etc...it just fit our style better. We basically are concerned with health, youth, personality, looks (to some extent), and college educated. We figure young guys may well grow up to be docs.
When we chose our donor we were only allowed to pick between three banks (CCB, Fairfax and one in NY) Our RE's office would only use donors from one of those three.
After that we chose purely based on who we got a good feel of from their questions. I don't think we would have paid a whole lot more purely based on profession. ( and being I work with doctors all day long and I feel a good portion of them are idiots who just had the money to go to school- I probably would offer to pay less!)
I think in the end you have to go with what your gut tells you.
~Kennedy
Update: We are not-so-patiently waiting for CD1. I stopped the progesterone Monday, and my temp finally started falling today. Still above the coverline, but headed in the right direction. I am eager to get started! I'm supposed to call the RE on CD1, at which point we'll decide on the protocol for the cycle. I am going to ask about an hCG booster-- even with progesterone supplements 2x a day, my level only increased to 12 (from 9).
We're going to make the best use of these two pre-IUI weeks that we can, and are planning to take care of some "heavy lifting" things around the house. Who knows-- we might even finally take the Christmas tree down!
QOTD: We wouldn't (and didn't) rule out any donors based on them having higher-priced sperm. I guess from my perspective it seemed a little silly to worry about a hundred dollars (or so) considering that it is such a tiny drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of a cycle's cost. Of course, if we were using 2 vials a cycle or something I might have a different perspective. I can appreciate how quickly "$100 here, $100 there" adds up!
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
I'm a bit late to the game, but wanted to chime in.
We selected a "premium" (IUI) donor. Unfortunately that's the most expensive at CCB, but we didn't select him because it was labeled as premium. Our donor is perfect for us, matching C's rare ethnic heritage as well as a lot of other good qualities, so we felt that the extra money was worth it. Had there been other cheaper options for donors we would have considered them, but it's doubtful we could have found another that resonated with us as much.
Joy, thanks for your input
Your situation is exactly what I was talking about!
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer
I hope I am not responding too late....PUSH THE PLUNGER! The tears of JOY that follow ... let's just say, it's WONDERFUL!