South Florida Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Girls who live away from parents...
how hard was it? I broke the news to my mom yesterday about us thinking of moving and she got really angry and then today told me that she cried all night. She is my best friend, and I know that I am going to miss seeing her every week but I have to also support my DH. Also, thankfully GA airplane tickets are super cheap (under $100 round trip) so I know that we can fly them in all the time.
Re: Girls who live away from parents...
My parents and I's relationship got that much stronger. I still feel guilty for leaving the state (left for graduate school and first in my family to move out of state). It's a very southern thing to stay close by to take care of your older parents, so I'm constantly dealing with that.
Like you mentioned, travel is so much cheaper and more accessible then ever before. My mom is already excited about traveling to Tally next year for my graduation. They didn't really travel until I moved away. Now they have an excuse. Hopefully your parents will come around and think the same thing.
It's hard. My mom and stepdad moved away when I was a junior in college. It was so hard to be away from my mom and then having to say goodbye after every visit that DH and I seriously considered moving close to her. We ended up here, which is closer and is a little easier, but we still talk about moving even closer. I hate that I miss out on little shopping trips or meeting for dinner or coffee or pedicures or hanging out at her house. I fear it will get worse when we have kids.
When we moved here, we moved away from my dad and DH's parents. It's hard, and I worry about one of them getting sick or something and it being hard for us to get there, but it's not quite as bad for me as being away from my mom.
OK, I'm coming in a little late here, but I'll give you my 2 cents.
Moving away was probably the hardest thing I've had to do. I stayed local for college, so I never really had to deal with that part. Nick was stationed in Key West while we were dating and when we got married. 3 months later we got orders to move -- and our choices were very limited. The detailer told us we could pick between Alaska and Virginia. Obviously, we picked Virginia. When we first moved it was hard, but not as hard as I thought it would be. I too, am very close to my family and Nick's family as well, and we are the first to move not only out of the city, but out of the state! I feel that for us moving was the best thing for us. It really forced us to rely on each other (especially as newlyweds) and I feel like it really helped strengthen our bond as man and wife. Nick is truly my best friend, now more than ever -- and that's mostly because we didn't have anyone else to go to while we were up here.
It was even hard for our parents in the beginning. But we make sure to see each other at least a couple times a year. I know this is getting really long, but if you have any questions or general concerns, you know you can always email me. I'm happy to give you any tips or share any info that might be helpful. Good luck!
You are absolutely right
Not sure if I missed a previous post announcing a potential move? Well, congrats on the achievement that got you here.
I have never lived away from home, so I don't have much advice to provide. However, like pp said, your family will come around... especially if it is a positive career move. You mom/dad cannot hold you back for something that is going to help you in the long run.
I have family and friends in GA, and they all love it up there. It all started w/ 1 cousin moving up (w/ his family), and his parents and siblings started to trickle up. I've visited before, and I can see why they have fallen in love.
Yes, it will be difficult. No more hanging out w/ family / friends / nesties as often. But you'll be embarking on a journey w/ your hubby!
Best of luck to you.q
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
I so know how you feel. When Dh and I decided to move to Miami, it was really hard on my mom and sister. If I had it to do all over again, I do not think that I would have moved. It has made me, my mom, and my sister closer, but I feel like I miss out on a lot of things. While my sister was prego I only saw her once and I feel like I missed out on that whole experience with her. Now that my nephew is here I feel like I am going to have to work extra hard for him to know who I am. He looks diffrent every day and that tugs at my heart. I do feel like DH and I have grown into a better couple. Moving has it's good and bad parts. Also like Mellisa, said you miss out on the little shoping trips or just being able to go over to you moms house and hang out. Just make sure you take everything into consideration when you guys make your decision. I do have to say that DH and I were put here for a reason and with that I am thankful. HTH
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My mom was most upset the day that I left. It is hard, my mom and I are best friends and like Melissa said I miss the shopping trips and spending the day with her. Especially now that they tell me they are too busy to come down and visit. I talk to them all the time and email. It does help, but also like Melissa said you need to do it for you and not worry to much about it. I worry about them getting sick(like my mom did last year) and not being able to be there.
Wish you the best of luck and hope that your mom understands that you have to live your life too.
Yocy, I think even the fact that you are considering this move is a huge sign that you guys and your family can totally handle it. DH and I have never considered it because it simply is not an option for us...we look at all the beautiful, spacious homes available in great neighborhoods in Georgia and the Carolinas and it's super tempting to look into it further, but we just couldn't do it. I am way too attached to my parents and they are way too attached to me. DH is an only child and they barely have any extended family or friends in Miami that they are close to (it's basically just my ILs, DH's one set of grandparents, one aunt and uncle, and a cousin - 7 people plus the two of us)...basically, my ILs would never forgive us if we moved. And as much as I know that South Florida is not the ideal place for raising kids, I can't imagine raising my kids away from their grandparents and my entire extended family (cousins, uncles, aunts, etc.) whom I am very close to.
I'm not saying all of this to talk you down from the idea of moving, but my point is that it's a huge deal, and like I said, the fact that you guys are even considering it and are 85% sure of it to me is a big sign that you can and should do this. Whatever your family dynamics are, I'm sure you wouldn't be considering this move if you didn't believe in your heart that things would work themselves out eventually. As the other girls who have experienced this have pointed out, it's going to be difficult and you will miss your mom a lot, but you will find a way to still be a huge part of each other's lives with weekend trips, daily phone calls, etc.
I also agree with what Nikki was saying about how a move like that will only bring you and DJ closer - in our case, we are constantly surrounded by a huge network of all our closest family and friends who we see ALL the time and are in touch with nonstop. Now I wouldn't say that it has made our relationship "weaker," but we definitely don't rely on each other as much as we would if it were just the two of us. We always have a friend or relative close by to turn to if we can't or don't want to turn to each other for a particular problem. I always feel like if we lived away from everyone, it would force us to be closer because we would be the only person available in that city to turn to for support, advice, companionship, etc.
Anyway, I wish you guys the best of luck with your decision...I'm sure you will make the right choice and as other people have said, ultimately you guys have to do what you feel is best for the two of you and your future children. Take your mom into consideration but don't let her feelings or your guilt towards her keep you from doing what you feel is right.
I moved down here for a job after college, leaving my mom, dad and 2 younger sisters behind in NJ. My mom cried and was a little depressed for a few months. She kept saying that I needed to come home at the end of the year and that I got my experience down here and that I should live at home again and work in Philly.
Well I was super homesick that first year and seriously considered moving back. But I really wanted my career to take off and already had a year in at my office. So I stayed....I've been away from them for 4 years in August.
I am always homesick and moreso now that I'm pregnant and my husband travels ALL the time. I miss my sisters and the weekend trips to the beach or even grocery shopping. But we've gotten through 4 years by visiting at least 3 times a year and calling once or twice a week and lots of email. My mom even calls me at the office.
It's tough, especially when you're emotionally very close to your mom. But if moving is for the better if you want to raise a family in a better place or there is a better job.
You can do it! You just have to make plans to visit and vice versa so that you and your mom have things to look forward to.
I fight my husband on this a lot because he really wants to move but I was born here in FL and this is my home. I know my mom and dad would be VERY depressed and I would be really sad too because my best friend who is my son's godmother lives here, in addition to my family. So all of the people who are important to me are here. He compromised and told me if we can afford to take off a month or two in the summertime in a couple years and go a different place each summer (we are self employed) then he'd be ok with staying here. So hopefully we make a lot of money and can afford that! LOL!
So unfortunately I don't have any advice for you but if you feel that moving is the right choice, in your heart, then I think that you should do it and things with your mom and dad will work out.
People move out of state ALL the time so it's nothing new! They visit. Travel is so very affordable these days and you can turn it into a big family vacation and do something really fun when your parents come to see you like go to tourist spots or state parks or other fun things.
Georgia is absolutely beautiful. I have a friend that moved there a few years ago and when I went to see her I can see why she lives there. I'm sure your parents will warm up to the idea when they come visit.
Maybe when you go house or apartment hunting you could even invite your mom up to help you out so she feels like she is still a part of your life and you aren't just "abandoning" her?
Best of luck... I know it'll be ok in the end!
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